


JROTC Wars

by lovetheinkstains



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, But mostly angst, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Hux is in JROTC, I Blame Tumblr, I Don't Even Know, Kylo is a transfer student, M/M, Mentioned Luke Skywalker, also Kylo plays piano like a boss, also sin now, because it came to that, don't worry tho neither of the boys die, i dunno man are you up for some au bs?, implied StormPilot, mentioned Snoke - Freeform, mentioned chewie, sin is a thing that happens, what even is this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 22:48:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 43,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6096466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovetheinkstains/pseuds/lovetheinkstains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux is the Cadet Colonel of his private High School's JROTC program, meaning every student who joins JROTC answers to him.<br/>Until an all-black-wearing legacy holder decides to transfer from the Rival Public School, Republic High and immediately start making Hux seriously contemplate murder. </p><p>or</p><p>In which Hux runs the JROTC program and Kylo rolls in and fucks everyone's shit all up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Private Emo

“Cadet Colonel Hux?” 

Hux turned his eyes away from inspecting the crisp uniforms of his JROTC battalion, his attention captured by the sound Captain Phasma - his JROTC director’s - voice. He faced her with a sharp turn on his toes, hearing what sounded like sighs of relief as his critical eyes left the students under his command. 

Captain Phasma stood at the door to the JROTC room, her dress uniform neatly hugging a body earned from her former service in the Navy. “May I speak with you?” She asked him, her eyes flicking towards the door to urge him into the hall. 

“Yes, of course.” Hux followed the former Navy Captain out into the hallway, closing the JROTC door behind them and facing the short-haired blonde woman, asking, “Am I being reprimanded?” calmly.

Phasma knit her pale eyebrows together, eyeing the cadet in front of her amusedly. “No, of course not, Hux. Far from it, in fact.”

“Do tell.” 

She continued talking, ignoring the small spark of cold boredom in Hux’s voice. “I’ve just been informed of a new transfer student into your battalion.”

“If they don’t have a meaningful rank then there’s no need for you to tell me this.”

“He’s a Private.”

“Then why-?”

“He just transferred from Republic High School, and he has a rather noticeable legacy to him. Even if he’s a Private I’d like you to show him around; chaperone him. He seems to be the rebellious type.”

“Captain Phasma chaperoning a Private is somewhat beneath my rank if I might be so bold as to remind you.” Hux objected, still calm. “I have the entire JROTC program to overersee I don’t have the time. ”

“You  _ have _ heard of Leia Organa?” Phasma interjected. “The former JROTC director of Republic High who led her grimy public school program to the National JROTC Championship every year she served as the program’s director?”

“Of course I have.” Replied Hux crisply, eyes narrowed.

“Then I would like you to meet her son, Ben Solo, the new transfer to First Order Prep and the Private you will be chaperoning.” Phasma lifted a hand, motioning for someone behind Hux to step forward.

The irate Cadet Colonel refused to look away from the Captain, lifting his chin and waiting until a dark figure stepped into his line of sight and stopped to stand at Phasma’s side. 

Hux quirked an eyebrow at the sight of him; a gangly teen dressed in all black and a head of shoulder length black hair trailing down to his thin shoulders. “You’ll have to cut your hair, Private.” Was all he said before focusing his eyes back on Phasma, his initial up-and-down sweep of the newcomer revealing nothing more of interest.

“That’s not happening.”

Hux felt himself stiffen, his head jerking towards the boy as his eyes flared. “What was that, Private?” He asked.

“I’m not cutting my hair.” Ben Solo repeated, matching Hux’s ice-cold stare with a fiery glare of his own. “And my name isn’t ‘Private’.”

“Forgive me mister Solo, did I forget to treat the crown prince of a public school legacy to the welcome he’s used to?” Queried the other bitingly. 

“Don’t call me that.” Ben took a step forward, his fists clenched. “Ben Solo is dead, I killed him.”

Hux blinked for a moment before leaning to the side to look around the aggressive transfer student at Phasma. “Captain do I really-?”

“Yes, Hux. He deserves respect here and you will show it to him.” Replied the Captain, unable to stop herself from frowning at Ben in confusion. 

“His hair…”

“I’m sure we can find a way around it. Just be sure it’s neat and pinned back while he’s in uniform.” 

“Captain Phasma-!” Hux attempted, his protest dying when Phasma simply nodded her head and began moving towards of the JROTC room. “I will leave you two out here to get better acquainted. Cadet Colonel, he has his schedule with him and I expect you to be a responsible Chaperone.” With a final nod Phasma had disappeared into the room, leaving a fuming Hux alone with the person he had internally dubbed  _ ‘Private Emo.’  _

He clenched his jaw and drew in a slow breath before looking towards the transfer again. “You need a uniform, Solo.”

“My name is Kylo.” 

_ What the actual fuck is wrong with this guy?!  _ Hux held back the thought “What?” He gritted out.

“My name is Kylo Ren. I don’t want to be Ben Solo and Leia Organa’s son. So I won’t be.” The kid nodded. “So call me Kylo.”

The Cadet Colonel had to keep himself from throttling him, amending his earlier statement. “You need a uniform,  _ Private Emo _ .”


	2. Sarcastic Assholes in a Uniform

It took Hux longer than he wanted to find the brat both a spare JROTC uniform, and the uniform the school required their students wear. “Hurry up and get changed into your JROTC uniform.” He had told Kylo, thrusting the plastic-covered uniform into his arms and gesturing boredly towards a small bathroom for Kylo to get dressed in.

Kylo looked down at the green fabric, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

“What?” Hux pressed his lips together, his eyes narrowing slightly. “You’re a freshman aren’t you? Freshman get the green dress uniforms.”

The other boy’s face twisted with indignation. “I’m a  _ senior _ .” He hissed. 

“Then why the hell are you only a private?” Demanded Hux, his tone just as hostile as he turned to rifle through the storeroom yet again. 

“I just joined JROTC, I wasn’t in it at Republic.”

“So you join as a senior?” Mocked Hux, glancing over his shoulder at Kylo with a tiny smirk before returning his attention to the neat racks of uniforms. “You won’t get very far in the program.”

“Are you sure about that? I already have the student at the head of the program as my personal tour guide for as long as I want.” Kylo gave a smirk of his own when Hux stiffened; continuing. “Maybe Phasma expects me to go far here. But how would you know, it’s not like your rank really means anything. You just strut around thinking your important because everyone else is afraid of you.”

Hux turned fully to face him, his fist curled around the plastic that covered the right color uniform. Kylo sneered at him. “Everyone but me. I see right through you,  _ Cadet Colonel Hux _ . I can look right into that head of yours and see that you’re just holding onto your rank because you don’t have anything else.”

The uniform was pushed hard against Kylo’s chest, nearly knocking the wind from his lungs as Hux held it there. “Go get changed, Private.” He said lowly. “Or we’ll be late to class.” 

Kylo took the uniform from Hux’s tight grip, their eyes still locked together until he pulled away and moved into the bathroom. 

Hux watched Kylo until the door closed, cutting him off from view; his fists curling angrily when the other boy had gone. He jerked his head away, beginning to pace furiously as his fists curled and uncurled. “... irritating  _ brat _ …” He muttered to himself. “. _..coming into my program acting all high and mighty who does he think he is? … only reason I’m chaperoning him is because of his damned parents… doesn’t he know that? Of course he knows that, worthless, emo, irrational, self-important brat! _ ” Through his furious growling he heard the door click open again, stopping his pacing immediately and looking coldly towards the bathroom; his spirits rising at the thought that he could at least harass the idiot on his uniform like he did all other privates wearing them for the first time.

He opened his mouth, chastisement already poised and smug on his lips, only to stop when Kylo stepped out wearing the pristine uniform without a crease out of place. Hux froze, irritation creeping back as Kylo calmly moved towards his backpack to shove the black clothes he had previously wearing inside. 

“Where should I put the everyday school uniform for now?’ Kylo asked him, not looking up from his task of shoving his clothes inside his bag. “I don’t want them to get wrinkled.”

Hux stalked forward and snatched the everyday uniform from the chair he had set it on. “Leave it in the JROTC hall for now, come back and get it after school.” He growled, looking down at the other boy kneeling near his feet.

Kylo straightened, pulling his bag up and slinging it over one shoulder. Hux had to tilt his head back to look at him.  _ I didn't realize he was so… tall.  _ Hux thought angrily, his mood worsening now that he realized that the little shit was actually taller than him. “Fix your hair.” He said out loud, not giving an inch when Kylo glared at him.

“It is fixed.” Replied Kylo, brushing a strand of said inky locks out of his face.

“I  _ meant  _ you need to pull it back.” Hux was gonna kill him. He could already tell.

Kylo rolled his eyes. “I don’t exactly have hair-ties with me.”

“Figure it out. If you’re going to keep your hair long you’ll have to tie it back like the girls.” He smirked at the way Kylo gritted his teeth at that, enjoying the feeling of baiting him. “Go ask one of them if you don’t have something to pull it back with yourself.” He added.

“How dare you-?”

Overhead a bell rang, and moments later the halls began to fill with students milling around towards their next class. Hux closed and locked the storeroom, glancing up at Kylo again. “You should have listened to me instead of arguing.” He tsked. “Now you don’t have time to put your daily uniform in the JROTC room; you’ll have to carry it with you for today.”

He glanced at the copy of Kylo’s schedule Phasma had given him, giving the paper a quick once-over before nodding. “Come on, I’m not going to be late because I have to show around some angsty puppy.” 

Kylo glared holes in Hux’s back as the ginger began walking away, stubbornly refusing to move for a moment before giving up and padding after Hux sourly. “How’d someone like  _ you _ make Cadet Colonel?” He asked bitterly.

“You might be surprised to know that being calm and an overall superior person than everyone around you leads to success.” Retorted Hux without missing a beat, keeping his eyes forward as he navigated the busy halls with ease.

Beside him, Kylo opened his mouth to fire back, stopping when he noticed the distinct lack of people jostling for space enough to move through what should have been a large crowd. He glanced around him curiously, seeing that the halls  _ were _ crowded, just not around Hux; students quickly falling away to clear a path when they saw his uniformed figure approaching. No one daring to make eye contact. 

_ Interesting… _ Thought Kylo, side-eying the Cadet Colonel beside him with a newfound interest. “They’re afraid of you.” He remarked casually.

“They respect me.” Corrected Hux.

“There’s little difference between fear and respect.” Kylo’s reply had Hux looking at the newcomer with mild surprise as they walked; Kylo shrugged. “Both mean no one’s there to stand in your way.”

“Did people ever respect you?” Hux asked tauntingly, his lip curling.

“No.” Came Kylo’s simple answer, his voice low and angry. “But they will fear me.”

Hux didn’t reply, halfway between being vaguely impressed by the Private and wondering why the  _ hell _ he was so fucking serious all the time. 

For a few moments, the two of them walked in silence, the earlier angry tension between them somewhat blunted before Hux suddenly stopped at the doors of a classroom. “You’re here.” He announced crisply. “After class wait here and I’ll come to get you.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Kylo muttered.

Hux closed his eyes, massaging the bridge of his nose. “ _ You’re _ the one who was just boasting about me having to chaperone you around.” He reminded through clenched teeth. “So stop complaining and wait for me here after class.”

“And if I don’t?” Asked Kylo mutinously. 

“Then you’ll end up lost and late for class.”

Kylo tossed his head. “I could care less about that.”

“Ren I swear to god if you don’t-.” Hux broke off, drawing in a breath. “Fine.” He growled. “That makes my job easier anyhow.” He turned on his heels and stalked off, the students around him quickly scrambling to get out of his way before he barreled into them - or worse… 

He made it to his own class in a foul mood, easing into his seat and placing his cap on the desk before folding his hands neatly on the tabletop beside it.  _ He’s not my problem. Not. My. Problem. _ He thought firmly. 

“ _… that’s what I heard anyhow_.” Voices filtered into the classroom, two carrying a whispered conversation as they passed by Hux’s desk and moved to claim their seats near the back of the class.

“ _… Ben Solo, yeah that’s what everyone’s saying_.” The whispers continued. 

“ _… I heard some of the senior class is gonna try to haze him._ ”

Hux’s breath sharpened with interest, giving no other sign to the people behind him that he was listening. 

“ _… I don’t know what they’re gonna…_ ”

“ _… why are they doing it to him though_?”

“ _… both his parents are big figures at Republic High… guess they thought it’d be a good idea to send a message to out rival school._ ”

“ _… when are they gonna do it, do you know?_ ”

“ _After class, at least that’s what people are saying…_ ”

Hux stopped listening, his fingers beginning an irritated, rhythmic tapping on his desktop. He really,  _ really _ didn’t want to have to bail that brat out…  

His thoughts took a dark turn as his irritation grew, and even as class started and he diligently began his work he couldn’t keep himself from plotting the death of everyone he had come in contact with since that morning.

He didn’t let his small fantasies of murder distract him from his work, however - as if he would ever - and when the bell rang again to dismiss them to the next class his classwork was neatly completed and set to turn in. 

The rest of his classmates bolted out the door, and Hux narrowed his eyes. Standing with a sigh that quickly became a growl of anger and picking up his single-shoulder satchel bag. He walked calmly for a few moments, before his impatience pushed him into a run as he made his way towards Kylo’s class.

A large crowd had gathered, and Hux forcefully pushed through; people moving to allow him passage until he came upon the sight - Kylo staring down four much larger males with a glare that could burn down forests.

Hux stopped, watching the scene passively as his concern bled away. Kylo had tied back his hair, he noted, in a small ponytail near the base of his neck. It wasn’t exactly neat but he supposed he could overlook it.

Kylo took a step towards the boys who had been his would-be-attackers, and they finched back; Hux wondered what he had done to them to make them so afraid. 

“Ren.” He called suddenly, raising his voice so that the people around him could hear. Kylo looked away from the four, and Hux nodded his head in the direction of his next class. “Let’s go or we’ll be late.”

Kylo blinked, his face creasing with an irritated frown for only a moment before he narrowed his eyes and his lips twisted into child-like pout. “Fine.” he stepped forward and the four around him cleared a path, the crowd quickly dispersing as Hux turned away with Kylo at his side.

“I thought I told you I didn’t need a babysitter.” Kylo grumbled.

“I see that now.” Replied Hux calmly.

Kylo glowered at him as they walked. “I thought you understood that before!” He said indignantly. “You should have just gone to class.”

“I didn’t know if you’d be able to handle the situation on your own so I went to see for myself.” Hux lifted his chin, eyes looking straight ahead. “I know you can take care of yourself now; I won’t go looking for you if something like this happens again. This class here is yours.”

“I didn’t ask you to.” Muttered Kylo, stopping when Hux stopped and moving into the classroom before the other could tell him off anymore. He claimed a seat near the back, pouting for a moment before chancing to raise his eyes, seeing Hux standing by another seat in the class - the other looking at him with amusement he didn’t bother hiding. 

Kylo quickly scowled and looked away as Hux sat.  _ Fuck _ … He really hated that he’s always had a thing for sarcastic assholes in a uniform…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Yes go look at this blog please:  
> http://kitsunezakuro.tumblr.com/  
> Because they deserve love.


	3. Piano Players and Tantrums

The two had classes together from their third period until the end of the day, meaning that Hux would be seeing Kylo seven period’s out of eight with only one break in between; their second period class right after JROTC in the morning. 

That also meant that Hux had been tasked with the burden of dealing with the brat during lunch - the  _ one _ break he had been hoping to get. That said, he had to admit that it was far from unentertaining to walk into the sleek cafeteria only to turn and find Kylo gawking behind him near the entrances. 

“What?” He asked, arching an eyebrow and sneering. “Don’t public school have cafes this nice?”

Kylo’s mouth snapped closed, and he pushed his hands into the pockets of his blue dress uniform - looking away with what was quickly becoming his signature pout. “I’m just surprised is all…” He muttered darkly.

Hux rolled his eyes and chuckled. “We have just about anything.” He announced, trying not to make it seem like he was bragging. “And trust me, It’s all better than the cardboard you get at public schools.”

“Is that a piano?” Hux blinked rapidly, confused at Kylo’s question as the other boy moved from the entrance to stand beside him; pointing at large grand piano set on a stage in a corner of the cafe. 

“No Ren, it’s a trombone.” He replied mockingly.

The pout returned, and Kylo turned away from the piano. “Thank you for enlightening me, Hux.” He retorted. 

“It’s why i’m here.” Sighed the other. “Literally the only damn reason…” He added sourly.

“I told you you didn’t have to babysit me!” Came Kylo’s hiss as he and Hux began making their way across the cafe to inspect what was being offered. 

Hux lifted his chin. “Phasma isn’t going to let me just leave you on your own, believe me if I could get away with it I would.” 

Kylo glanced around the cafe. “It isn’t all bad.” He commented, his voice suddenly darkening mischievously. “Look at how everyone’s looking at us.”

Curious, Hux allowed his eyes to sweep the area around them, noting quickly turned away glances that had been aimed toward him and Kylo. “They’re watching us.” He said.

“They have been all day, I’m surprised you haven’t noticed.” Came Kylo’s reply.

“And just why would they be doing that?”

Kylo laughed disbelievingly. “They were already afraid of you, and some of them did just see the new kid do… well…” Kylo shrugged, tilting his chin up with a self-assured smile. “Just look at it through their eyes, the two of us together all day. The only thing scarier than two threats is two threats combined as one.”

Hux scowled. “Say what you want, as soon as Phasma relieves me of your babysitting duty I’ll be done with you.”

“You’re no fun.” Muttered Kylo, snagging himself a dark chocolate Hershey's bar from a rack of snacks when the the cashier’s back was turned. 

His chaperone rolled his eyes and looked away, waiting for the cashier to return her attention to the line of waiting students so he could pay; his irritation growing when it took him what had to be at least another five minutes to pay and take his food. 

Hux turned to face the high-end cafe, his eyes raking over the tables and benches and high counters for a place to sit - finding one and beginning to move towards it only to realize that  _ Kylo was no longer at his side _ . His shoulders fell and he scowled for what had to be the hundredth time that day before searching through to crowd for the missing Private. 

The powerful opening five notes of an unfamiliar song being expertly played on piano keys had Hux’s head snapping towards the piano in the corner of the cafe. 

Kylo sat on the piano bench, a nearly completely eaten chocolate bar hanging from his mouth as his fingers danced across the keys without hesitation. The cafe quieted as all eyes turned towards the source of the music, and Hux felt shivers travel up his spin despite himself. 

For nearly thirty minutes no one moved, or spoke, watching captivated until the final notes had been played and Kylo shut the keyboard cover again gently. 

He stood, drawing the last bite of Hershey's bar into his mouth and chewing nonchalantly as he made his way over towards Hux. 

“What was that?” Hux asked, inwardly willing himself to f _ ucking move you dumbass it was just a song!  _

“Chopin Sonata no. 3.” Was Kylo’s response. “You like?” A teasing glint had crept into Kylo’s eye, and the taller boy smirked. 

The awe was gone, and Hux pursed his lips. “It’s too long.” He replied coldly. 

Kylo looked away with narrowed eyes, an irritated pout stamped firmly on his face. Hux gave a smirk of his own, taunting, “You should wear a mask, Ren. You’re too expressive. Everyone’s going to know exactly what you're thinking.”

“Trust me you have no idea what I’m thinking.” Growled Kylo. 

“Maybe not.” Hux agreed. “But I can see enough - and that pout of yours isn’t fitting for someone who wants to be feared.” His tone was mocking as he moved away towards the seat he had spied earlier, hoping to salvage what was left of his lunch hour to actually eat. 

Kylo followed - much to his annoyance - sliding into the seat across from him and looking around the cafe with a brooding expression. “Prep schools get so much more funding than publics schools.” He said conversationally. 

“Oh? I didn't notice I thought they were both the exact same thing, silly me.” Sighed Hux, taking a bite of a baked potato with everything on it. 

“Well then it’s a good thing I’m here to keep you informed, Cadet Colonel.” Kylo replied with mock sincerity. 

“Lucky me.” Hux said, inwardly adding,  _ I’d prefer you play the piano again though…  _

Kylo reached over, grasping a spare fork from Hux’s tray and helping himself to a bite of the other’s lunch. “Sure, if you want me to play again I can.”

Hux’s eyes widened, and he couldn’t even muster up an outraged protest at Kylo’s food stealing as the boy across from him lifted his chin and looked at him. “You should wear a mask, Hux.” He began haughtily. “You’re too expressive, everyone’s going to know what you’re thinking.” 

Hux looked away as his face began to burn with embarrassment, wondering whose side his blushing face was  _ even on anyway _ ! 

After a moment, he squared his shoulders and righted himself, turning his eyes towards Kylo only to catch the other in the act of quickly looking away; a faint pink rising to his cheeks.

_ Had Ren been…  _ staring _ at me? _

Hux immediately dismissed the thought and returned to his food. “You play well.” He said simply. “So why wouldn’t I like to hear it again?” 

“You complimented me.” Kylo muttered - just as expected his signature pout had returned. “What are you, getting sick or something?” 

“I compliment people where I feel it’s necessary, even if it’s someone as irritating as you.” Hux gave a false smile.

“I have a lot of traits worth complimenting.” Kylo muttered under his breath.

“What?”

“What?” Kylo looked at him innocently, and Hux frowned.

_ What did he even say?  _ He wondered, looking at the last of his lunch, his eyebrows still knit together in a questioning frown. After a moment, his frown deepened with irritation.  _ Brat… how did he manage to intimidate those four earlier…  _

“Ren.” Hux said suddenly. “What happens with those four this morning?”

Kylo blinked and tilted his head to the side, looking more like a puppy in a blue JROTC uniform than the teen who had menaced four others into rethinking their attack. “Oh, that?” He questioned, remembering. Kylo shrugged. “Nothing really.” 

“Don’t disrespect me by lying to my face.” Hux said sharply. 

“You can’t stop me so I don’t see why I _shouldn’t_ disrespect you by lying to your face.” 

“There is a reason these idiots are all afraid of me, Ren, don’t test your limits.”

“They’re afraid of you because you’re cold-hearted and sure of yourself. That’s no reason for me to be afraid along with the rest of the rabble.” Kylo waved nonexistent concern away. 

“They’re afraid of me because on at least six instances I’ve had to put people in their place.” Hux replied, his voice calm. “And on every instance I’ve walked away from it all without as much as a scratch.”

“So, you fight?” Sneered Kylo. “Not exactly threatening, anyone can learn to fight.” He  leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “But not everyone can take one look at someone and see into their head as clearly as their own.”

“So you think you're psychic?” Asked Hux with a eyebrow raised with disbelief.

Kylo glared. “No. Being observant isn’t psychic. And neither is using people’s insecurities against them.”

“Is that what you did to those four then?” Pressed Hux, inwardly smiling at how quickly Kylo gave with a little interrogation. 

“No.” Kylo leaned back, his pout reappearing. “I just… I don’t like being called The Other Name… and they did; pissed me off that’s all.”

“What did you  _ do _ , Ren?” Hux sighed impatiently. 

“Look I just flipped out a little and I may have threatened them in multiple ways that are not appropriate or even remotely legal - more like borderline torturous okay so just…” The response came in a sudden rush of air, and Hux had to bite back laughter. 

“So you mean you threw a tantrum?”

“I did  _ not _ throw a tantrum!” Kylo hissed. 

“Did you break anything during your tantrum because if you did it comes out of the JROTC budget to fix.” 

Kylo went silent, quietly fuming in his seat as he fought to keep himself from saying anything stupid; Hux watched him, smirking at how easily riled up he was.  _ This is too easy…  _ He thought.  _ He’s practically a child. A really… angsty… tall… child who needs to do something to that damn hair!  _ He swept his eyes over Kylo’s hair, still tied in that ponytail near the base of his neck; noting that hairs had begun escaping and Kylo hadn’t bothered to tuck them back in place. instead letting the flyaways trail to his shoulders and into his face.

He only realized that he had been staring when Kylo suddenly shifted his eyes back to Hux, the look on his face strangely intense.

Hux quickly looked away, getting the odd feeling that Kylo had known he was being watched and narrowing his eyes irritably.  _ Brat. _

He heard a soft sound from across the table and looked up again, his irritation growing to  find Kylo laughing softly to himself. “What?” He snapped.

“Nothing.” Came the response. Before Hux could growl out another question, Kylo stood. “But everyone’s leaving, shouldn’t we go back to class?” His tone was gentle - sounding somewhat smug to Hux. 

Hux rose calmly, collected as he grasped his plate in his hands and looked at Kylo with a raised eyebrow. “I was thinking about staying here and wasting more time talking to you actually.” He replied sarcastically. 

“Really, because that sounds great.” Retorted Kylo, baiting him as Hux set his plate down in the appropriate cleaning bin and made for the cafe entrance. “Maybe I could even play the piano again just for you if you want.”

“Spare me the private concert, Ren, I’d rather lose my rank than sit through that.” 

“Liar.” 

“You’re welcome to throw another tantrum if I offended you, just as long as you don’t break anything.” 

“I didn't throw a tantrum!” Hissed Kylo.

“Of course you didn’t.” 

As they walked towards their next class, Hux wondered when their constant bickering had become so normal… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go look up Chopin Sonata no. 3 it's really great....   
> ... And Angst child Kylo has a serious thing for Hux already and Hux... he knows nothing.


	4. Oh No He's Hot

Morning PT could rot in hell. Kylo couldn’t remember the last time he had been so physically exhausted, and it didn’t help that Hux looked damn good in his PT clothes. 

_ He looks good in everything apparently… _ He thought bitterly.  _ First that dress uniform and now some shorts and a t-shirt - god save me… _ Kylo huffed a sigh of irritation, hands on hips as he fought to catch his breath after a run.  _ At least I don’t have to wear that green pickle uniform like most first-timers… I wouldn’t want to be caught dead in that thing.  _

“Ren.” Hux’s voice him made Kylo turn, finding the shorter boy standing beside him. 

“Yes Cadet Colonel?” asked Kylo boredly.

“PT is just about over, we have locker rooms for the battalion to shower and change before school.” Kylo glanced at him, and Hux found himself looking away. “You’ll need to make yourself presentable before class so I suggest you take advantage of the locker room.”

“What, does how I look now disturb you?” Kylo smirked. 

Hux looked over towards Kylo with a glare, his eyes catching on the other’s messily tied back hair pulled against the nape of his neck; Kylo still covered with a thin layer of sweat from PT. “Yes.” Was his terse reply. 

Kylo gave a curious smile, a spark in his narrowed eyes. “What’s going on in that head of your’s, Hux? Usually you’re quicker to retort.”

“Commanding so many people while taking part in PT yourself isn’t an easy task, Ren.” Hux sniffed. “Perhaps if you had joined sooner instead of being an idiot who waited until his senior year to become a private, you’d understand that too.”

“Your honesty wounds me.” Kylo said falsely. 

“That’s nice to know.” Hux turned sharply and stalked away.  _ Brat _ . He thought to himself.  _ Change into some decent clothes already…  _

“Damn.” A soft voice cursing under their breath pulled Hux’s attention towards two juniors in PT uniforms. Both pairs of eyes fastened on Kylo as the older male made his way across the PT field and towards the locker room indoors. 

“Do you two need something?” Hux found himself asking the boys.

They turned to him, the taller of the two shrugging before focusing his attention on Kylo’s retreating figure once again. “Just enjoying the view I guess.” 

Hux raised an eyebrow pensively. “I thought you two were straight.” He questioned.

“So did we.” Sniggered the shorter, nudging his friend’s ribs as the two continued watching Kylo. “But that new guy wearing those shorts… ”

“And his hair pulled back…” Added the taller.

“Watching him do morning PT is enough to make even the straightest guys rethink their choices.” 

“Why don’t you two run four more laps.”

The juniors paled, their eyes riveted on Hux when he spoke to them with a cold voice and narrowed eyes. “That should help clear your heads, shouldn’t it?”

“Yes, sir.” They replied quickly, instantly setting off on their extra laps around the field. 

Hux irately watched them run, wondering for a moment if he should have given them more laps before frowning.  _ Wait why did I make them run more…? They were just looking at Ren. _ As the thought of them looking at Kylo filtered through his head, Hux set his jaw.  _ They were being disrespectful. They should have known better than to make comments like that about a fellow battalion member - those comments are indecent and should be saved for a more appropriate time. _

 

_ Or they could not think those things at all and keep their eyes off Ren… Wait what? _

 

Hux reddened just slightly, shaking his head to clear away the small voice in his head that had suddenly decided to speak up without permission. He scowled and began stalking towards the locker room.  _ They can do whatever the hell they wanted as long as it wasn’t on JROTC time. _ He fumed.  _ If they wanted to watch Ren run with his hair pulled back, in PT clothes that are really too damn distracting then that’s fine by m-! _ Hux’s thoughts cut off as his brain turned to static.  If he had been about to question what the hell he had been thinking just then, the thought was gone. Replaced by the sight of Kylo - back to him -  peeling off his PT shirt and tossing it aside as he lazily rolled his neck and stretched.

__The little voice piped up again. Oh _no he’s hot._

_ Wait that the fuck???  _ Hux blinked rapidly, grinding his teeth together in frustration. “Quit taking your damn time unless you want to be late!” He barked out, seeing Kylo jump slightly and turn to face him.

“Class doesn’t start for another hour.” Kylo reminded him.

“This place gets crowded after PT and it’ll be impossible to shower and get dressed in a decent amount of time so just hurry up already.” Hux was lying. He wasn’t exactly sure why he was lying but he knew that he was, in fact, lying his ass off.

Kylo cocked an eyebrow, seeming to see right through him. “I’m going to take my time, Cadet Colonel.” He replied matter-of-factly, the beginnings of a smirk showing on the corner of his mouth. “You’re welcome to join me if you want.”

Hux’s brain turned from static to mush, and he scrambled to a retort, a cold comment - a  _ glare _ for christs sake,  _ something _ ! Instead he only managed to let out a surprised cough before turning away a little too quickly to seem composed and walking out of the locker room. 

He ran six more laps before his mind finally righted itself, walking back into the locker room and finding it filled with people hastily scrambling to get ready for morning class. Hux allowed his breathing to fall back into a comfortable rhythm, pushing away his earlier confusing thoughts and burying them. _ I must not have been thinking straight.  _ He told himself, grasping his towel and his clothes and making for the showers.  _ It is just Ren.  _ Hux let out a sigh of relief as the name brought up feeling of irritation instead of… anything else, stepping into one of the showers and making short work of the process before stepping out again with a towel about his waist - he had a schedule for these things and he stuck to it, no longer than five minute showers in the mornings after PT. 

“Hux, someone told me you’d be here-” A smug voice pulled Hux’s attention, and he looked up in time to see Kylo rounding the corner into the shower area only to stop when he saw him and turn around on his toes. “I’llwaitforyououtthereokaybye!” Kylo walked quickly away, not giving Hux a chance to ask him what he had said. 

Hux pawed wet hair away from his forehead, blinking in confusion.  _ What was that about?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *giggles* No, Hux definitely is NOT thinking straight... He's just too far in the closet to notice.


	5. So Much Thirst

Kylo’s found his thoughts wandering throughout the rest of the day, his eyes glazing over as he sat through boring lectures in useless classes - his mind constantly looping around to the sight of Hux stepping out of a locker room shower stall still covered with water and a towel wrapped around his waist. 

He would chew his lip, wondering what it would have looked like had the towel been sitting just a little lower on those narrow hips… or if Hux hadn’t been wearing one at all… 

Red rose up to paint Kylo’s cheeks and he buried his face in his arms, resting his forehead on his desk; incredibly grateful to be in his second period class and away from Hux for at least a little bit before having to see him again. 

_ You made a fool of yourself. _ He thought to himself, not lifting his head.  _ All because you saw a little skin… _ Kylo paused a moment.  _ It was  _ really _ nice skin though… _ He sighed to himself, eyes narrowing from where his face laid buried in his arms.  _ Nice to get a little look too… But I shouldn’t have run out like that; should have stayed… and touched…  _ Kylo snapped up straight in his chair, trying to shake the thoughts away.  _ Not the time! _ He told himself sternly. 

Just as he forced himself to focus his attention back on his teacher, the woman began moving around the classroom handing out thick rectangles of printed cardstock - nicely made invitations to what she told her class was to be the Senior Prom. 

Kylo tuned her out as he turned the invitation over in his hand, his eyes moving over the price list for tickets on the back as well as the theme: “ _ The Dark Side _ ” He smiled a little at that as the bell rang, easing from his chair and idling from the classroom with the heavy card in his hand. 

“The theme this year is right up your alley.” Hux’s snarky voice had Kylo’s mouth pulling into a pout while his gut twisted. “Last year I heard it was something like Space Gays… no wait Space Days… something like that I’m not sure - but it was equally stupid.”

“So I take it you’re not going then.” Kylo rolled his eyes as the two of them fell in step to their next class.  _ Don’t think about him getting out of the shower, don’t think about him getting out of the shower don’t-! _

“I’m required to go as the head of the JROTC program since I’m a senior.” Replied Hux sourly. He nodded to the card in Kylo’s hand. “Just so you know you’d better get rid of that thing unless you want people all over you.”

“What?” Frowned Kylo.

“It’s a tradition to give your prom invitation card to the person you’re going with. But people here get aggressive and they’re not above trying to take it from you just to say that you asked them to prom.”

Kylo glanced down at the card stock at Hux continued. “But that being said some of these girls are picky, if you get your card stolen and try to ask someone else without it chances are the girl will turn you down.”

“All because of a card?”

“All because of a card.” Agreed Hux. 

“Where’s yours?” Kylo asked, grateful that he had at least regained control over his ability to keep his voice sounding nonchalant.  

“I threw it out.” Came the prompt response as the two stepped into their next class together. 

Kylo quickly smothered his pout, moving to his seat in the back, throwing the piece of card stock down on the table, and sliding into the chair.  _ Of course you did… _ He thought childishly. 

“You already got your invitation?” 

Kylo’s hand slammed down over the prom invitation before the girl that had walked up to his desk could pick it up; lifting his eyes to glare at her heatedly. “I didn’t say you could touch that.” He said lowly. 

The girl smiled weakly, stepping back. “R-right, sorry!”

“Rude, Ren.” Hux reprimanded, not turning back to Kylo from his seat a few rows in front of Kylo.

“Bite me.” Snapped Kylo.  _ Really… Bite me… _ He looked back towards the girl, offering a false smile of apology. “I’m sorry, but I can’t have you touching that.” He told her.

“Are… you already going with someone?” She asked, eyes wide.

Kylo felt the eyes of the class turn to him, and he tensed; wishing the bell would ring so he didn’t have to answer the question. “Does it matter?” He evaded, still glaring. 

“Well Dean Snoke requires all students to have dates this year.” The girl pressed coyly; Kylo glanced at Hux and saw that the other boy had stiffened - that must have been news to him too. 

“So you expect me to go with you then?” Kylo asked her coldly.

The girl shrugged. “Who else are you going to go with?”

Kylo managed a genuine smirk - she was getting braver. “Who are you?”

“Um… a student?”

“Do you even go here?” Hux was behind her. 

She tensed. “Of course I do.”

Kylo stood. “You’re lying.”

The girl was silent for a moment before sighing. “Your mom wants you to come home, Ben.” She said finally.

Kylo reeled. “That’s not my na-!”

“Don’t give me that shit. General Leia told me all about you when I transferred to Republic. She asked me to see if I could convince you to come back.”

“So you sneak into a prep school and try to get me to go to a dance with you?” Kylo gritted out.

The girl shrugged. “I needed to talk to you alone without your ginger bff.”

“Don’t even start with that.” Hux muttered. “You’re trespassing and you’ll have to be removed from the campus Miss…?”

“Rey.” The girl replied grudgingly. “And don’t call me ‘Miss’, General Ginger.” 

Kylo snorted despite himself, and Hux glared just as the bell rang. Their teacher strode into the class seconds late, sweeping his eyes over the students standing and watching the scene with confusion. “What’s going on?” He asked.

“A girl snuck on campus.” Hux replied promptly 

“I’ll call security and have her removed.” Without another word the teacher had disappeared from the classroom. 

Hux eyed Rey for a moment. “Seems like you’ve learned a lot, how long have you been here?”

“Just today.” She told him. “But it’s not hard to learn when people are a bunch of gossiping, open books.”

“Is that right?” Questioned Kylo.

“I like studying, and people are no different from books or machines.”

“You’re still not very good at it.” Kylo sniffed. “You need a teacher.” 

“Spare me, Ben, and just transfer back already. Your parents can’t stand the fact that you’re over here.”

“They’re paying for his school though.” Hux frowned.

“No they’re not.” Rey turned to him, seeming shocked that he didn’t know. “He’s here for free, all because his grandad founded this stupid place.”

Hux froze, his eyes slowly finding Kylo. “Your grandfather is Dean Vader?” 

“How did you not know that, Hux you knew who my parents are…” Grumbled Kylo.

“Forgive me if I don’t pay you constant attention.”

“Mmm, yeah, you two are cute, anyway, you gonna transfer back Ben or what?” Rey asked boredly. 

“What do you think? And stop calling me that!”

Rey set her jaw. “You know your parents want you to-.”

“I don’t care.” Kylo cut her off vehemently, his voice cold. Rey flinched back as Kylo leaned forward, towering over her. “Now get out.”

Rey swallowed hard, and nodded. “Fine.” To her credit she managed to lift her chin and walk away from the imposing student with more than her fair share of dignity, hiding her fear well as she left. 

When she had gone, Kylo clenched his fists, his arms shaking. “How dare they…”

“Ren…” Hux began.

“They couldn’t have told me something while I was at home?”

“Ren.”

“Instead they send this… wandering...  _ girl _ -!”

“Ren calm down.” 

“And they call themselves parents!” Kylo’s fists slammed down on one of the desks in front of him blindly, the wood cracking but not breaking.

Hux closed his eyes. “There he goes…” 

“Worthless excuses for human beings, not worth the time or the space!  _ They can’t even abandon me right and they did enough when I was younger _ !” 

“Ren if you break something the program has to pay for it.” Hux reminded him, glancing around the class as their classmates began migrating to the opposite corner of the room. 

“ _ Everything is always about the program _ !” Kylo snarled. “Here and there it was always the damn program!”

_ Wrong thing to say. _ Hux thought, watching as Kylo flipped a table before beginning to pace. He pursed his lips. “Kylo.” Hux started. “You’re ruining your grandfather’s school.” 

Kylo stilled, and Hux nodded. “Better. Go for a run if you need to let off excess energy, Phasma will cover for her golden boy if he decides to skip class.” 

“I’m not some golden boy.” Kylo growled. “So fuck off.” 

Hux narrowed his eyes, walking forward until he stood directly in front of Kylo; looking up the two inches that was their height difference. “No, you’re not a golden boy.” He agreed. “You’re a petulant little brat with parental issues who likes to throw tantrums. I put up with it because I have to and because I could care less about your problems so there’s no reason to let them bother me.” Hux’s icy stare met Kylo’s flame-filled one, and he continued. “You’re not golden boy.” Hux repeated. “You’re just the kid I have to babysit, so I’m sorry but I can’t fuck off just yet. Now take my advice or shut up.” He turned angrily on his heel and stalked towards his seat, sitting down and returning to the book he had been reading before being so rudely interrupted. 

Kylo glared at him, eyes on the verge of shooting lasers into Hux’s back before he bent down and snatched up his bag. “Fine.” He snapped, stalking forward. “I’m going back out to the track, don’t wait up.” He passed by Hux’s desk, slapping his card stock invitation down on the other’s desk as he passed but not stopping on his way to the door. “But since I need a babysitter and you need someone to go with it looks like we’re stuck together doesn’t it?” 


	6. Fucking Mario Kart

Kylo lingered on the curb at the edge of his home’s property, shooting a still-irritated glare at Hux. “What are you doing here again?” He growled. 

“Your parent’s personally asked one of their students to trespass on First order property. Either I come talk to them or Dean Snoke will, and no one want’s that.” Hux adjusted the cuffs of his everyday school uniform, a simple black dress shirt - the tie cleanly looped about his neck while the jacket lay draped over his shoulders. “Ren, your parents don’t want you attending First Order, the least you could do is look presentable in the uniform.” He glanced over at Kylo, expecting to find the other frowning indignantly down at his appearance only to catch Kylo quickly looking upwards and away; as if he had been eyeing him.  _ You’re being stupid, now fix his uniform. _

“Tie your tie, dammit.” Hux chided with a scowl. “And fix your shirt… and your jacket, Ren why is everything so wrinkled?” 

“I went for that extra run and just threw my stuff down in the locker room when I changed back into my PT clothes.” Admitted Kylo, making short work of retying his tie before hastily re-buttoning his jacket to hide the wrinkled shirt beneath. “Look, if you’re going to come in just do it already, but I’m telling you now that I doubt anyone’s home.” He added, stepping suddenly forward and making for the front door. 

Hux blinked after him before following after Kylo and waiting patiently at the porch as Kylo unlocked the front door. The taller male pushed into the modest home with Hux silently behind him. 

“I told you.” Kylo finally broke the silence, moving from the home’s front entryway and into a large jointed kitchen-living room. “No one’s even home. You wasted your time.” His voice was colder than usual, lacking it’s usual baiting bite as he began rifling through the fridge. 

“I can wait.” Replied Hux.

“Leia is at the school overseeing the JROTC students like she always does on their drills, she won’t be home until late; Han’s probably out racing.” Kylo informed him curtly, pulling away from the open fridge with a bottle of water. “Either way you’ll be here until after dark and I don’t think I’ll be able to stand your company for that long, so get out.” 

Hux opened his mouth, grasping for a response but finding nothing.  _ He’s acting… harsh… er… than normal… _ “You said your dad races?” He managed finally, ignoring Kylo’s order.

“Han races, yeah.” Kylo replied. “Some garbage, beat up old thing. Fastest down at all the tracks around here apparently.” He shrugged, the beginnings of a triumphant smile on his face. “But it can’t handle well in rain so that precious baby of his isn’t as perfect as he likes to think it is.” He looked away, his face bitter. After a moment, he narrowed his eyes. “Hux I thought I told you to get out.”

“I need to talk to Han and Leia.” Hux told him stubbornly.

“Then why not just call them?” Kylo fixed him with his dark eyes, and Hux forced himself not to squirm. 

“It’s unprofessional.” 

“You’re lying.” He set his unopened bottle of water down on the countertop and folded his arms. “You know I can tell when people are lying, Hux. Don’t make me go digging around in your head.”

“Don’t play psychic with me.” Snapped Hux.

Kylo didn’t look away. “I’m not playing psychic, I just like reading people.”

Hux was silent, and Kylo nodded. “Fine then, be like that.” He said. “Are you going to leave?”

“I already told you-”

“Yeah you already lied to me about why you don’t want to leave. You’re stalling for time, giving yourself an excuse to be here because for some reason you don’t want to leave.” 

Hux’s expression turned stony; Kylo nodded in approval. “So the reason is either you want to spend more time with me or you don’t want to go home, Hux, which one is it?”

The shorter boy was silent, and Kylo tossed him his water bottle before turning back to the fridge to retrieve a second. “You don’t have to answer that one, none of my business.” He told him. “Let’s just go watch TV or something…” 

As Kylo stepped out of the kitchen, Hux looked down at the bottle in his hands, forgetting how to move. “Hux?” Kylo’s voice pulled his eyes away from the condensation-covered plastic, and he looked up to find the other standing in a shadowed hallway looking back over his shoulder. “Are you coming or what?”

Hux found his feet again, tightening his grip around the bottle just a fraction before following Kylo down the hall.

*****

Hux was damn good at Mario Kart, s omething Kylo was only willing to admit after countless races and a few hours had passed. He had shed most of his uniform somewhere around the second hour, leaving only his pants and the tank-top he wore underneath on before tying his hair back into a messy man-bun near the nape of his neck. 

“This game isn’t that hard I don’t understand why you keep losing.” Hux sighed, finally removing his tie and placing it over his uniform jacket on a chair beside a large desk in the corner before returning to sit on the floor with his back to Kylo’s bed.

“Shut up.” Came Kylo’s growl, and Hux laughed.

“I don’t even have this game, maybe you should practice more.” He continued, looking at the screen as Kylo selected their next track. 

“You know what, that’s it. You just got yourself a turn on Rainbow Road.” Kylo gritted out.

“Bring it.” Hux smirked, glancing over to look at him, his controller going lax in his hands as his eyes swept over Kylo leaning back against the bed; sloppily dressed, completely relaxed, and looking… 

“Incredible.”

“Hmm?” Kylo dragged his own eyes away from his TV screen just as Hux realized he had whispered the last word of his thoughts aloud - if only under his breath. 

“Nothing.” Hux returned his attention to the screen, wanting to divert Kylo’s attention before the faint burn he could feel creeping over his skin could set into a full blush. “Pay attention to the race unless you want to lose again.” He added.  _ Thank god he’s so competitive… _

Minutes later Hux was laughing again as Kylo gripped his controller tightly to keep from throwing it. “Honestly it's almost sad how predictable you losing is.” He couldn’t help but say.

“Shut it.” Pouted Kylo, and Hux nearly melted.  _ Shit where’s all this coming from?!  _ Hux remembered suddenly his reaction to seeing Kylo in PT clothes, more importantly, his reaction to seeing Kylo beginning to  _ remove _ said PT clothes before he frowned.  _ Oh. _ He thought dumbly, the fleeting memory of how he had acted when the two other students had made comments about Kylo returning to him as well.  _ How long have I felt like this then… And how did I not notice??  _

“Hey are you in there?” Kylo waved a hand in front of Hux’s face, the mocking smirk on his lips making Hux waver between wanting to either hit him or kiss him. “You got that overthinking look on your face.”

“What overthinking look?” Hux demanded indignantly, sitting up a little straighter against the bed. 

“The one you get when you start realizing shit that should have been obvious to you forever ago.” Replied Kylo smugly. “You know Cadet Colonel, I think you’re too smart for your own good.”

“Well at least I’m not constantly pouting, Brat.”

“I don’t pout!”

“You do and you know it.” The two glared at each other for a moment before Kylo broke, his lips cracking into a smile as he fell into a sudden fit of laughter.

Hux attempted to hold out, not lasting very long before he found himself laughing alongside him until both boys were grasping their stomachs and gasping for air.

“You need to come over more.” Kylo’s giggled request had Hux drawing in a small breath, and he widened his eyes. 

“What?”

“You heard me.” Kylo rolled his eyes. “No one’s ever home around here, so you should come over more.”

“Who’s wanting to spend time with who now?” Hux teased, raising an eyebrow.

“You could just leave then.” Kylo threatened lightly, earning him a cold glare from Hux which he shrugged off with a grin as he leaned to rest the back of his head on his bed and look up at his ceiling. “Or you can shut up and start coming over here more often. Your choice.”

Hux followed Kylo’s lead, finding that his thoughts didn’t wander to problematic places when he had his gaze fixed firmly on the ceiling. “Fine. It’s a deal, as long as you don’t throw any tantrums when I keep beating you at Mario Kart.”  Kylo snorted and Hux smiled. “You ask any girls to prom yet?” He asked.

“I thought I made it clear that you had to babysit me during prom.” Kylo told him, his tone painting the clear image of the pout he was definitely wearing in Hux’s mind. 

“You just did that to piss me off don’t lie.” Hux replied, pushing down the sudden urge to formally ask the ridiculously attractive brat beside him to prom.  _ Dammit why’d I have to realize I had a thing for him now??? _

“Nope.” Kylo sniffed. “I’m making your night twice as miserable. If you’re gonna be forced to go you may as well be babysitting me too, it’s your job right?” He added the last part sarcastically, his tone almost biting.

“You’re just saying that because you can’t get a date.” Hux forced himself to taunt, trying not to smile.

“That’s a lie.” Kylo told him blandly. “I can prove it to you too.”

At the offer, Hux felt his stomach wrench, and he tried to push the thought of Kylo going with someone else out of his mind. “But then you wouldn’t be able to make my night twice as miserable.” He reminded.

Kylo laughed, and Hux scowled and closed his eyes to keep himself from smiling at the sound. “True.” Kylo replied quietly, trailing off. “Very true…” 

Neither of them moved, the silence between them only broken by the random sounds of the game idling on the TV screen until Kylo suddenly opened his mouth and turned to look at Hux. “Do you want to-?” He broke off, eyes landing on the sleeping figure of Hux sitting propped up against his bed. 

Kylo watched him for a moment, resisting the urge to reach out and brush he usually perfect hair out of the others face. Instead he simply turned off the TV and rested his head back on his bed again; letting his eyes fall shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A round of applause please for Hux, who is finally becoming less fucking dense.


	7. Takeout and Slumber Parties

If Kylo had thought first he would have locked his door before falling asleep. 

He hadn’t thought, and he woke up suddenly to the sound to his door opening as someone stepped into his room. 

“I asked If you’ve eaten yet, Ben-” Leia Organa broke off, her eyes falling over the two boys leaning back against her son’s bed; the stranger still asleep while the other hastily attempted to glare at her with bleary eyes. 

“What time is it?” He managed to grumble. “And don’t you  _ knock _ ?”

“It’s my house, Ben Solo I’ll do what I damn well please.” Leia crooked a finger at him, opposite hand on hip before the finger flicked to the ginger boy still asleep. “Who’s that?” Her tone lightened. “You never bring anyone over.”

“That’s Hux.” Kylo kicked Hux’s leg roughly and the other boy jerked awake. “Get up.”

“Rude, Ren.” Hux snapped, waking instantly.

“Shouldn’t have fallen asleep then.” Replied Kylo.

“Pot meet kettle.” Hux’s voice was a growl.

Leia hummed appreciatively, nodding her head. “I like this one, Ben. Bring him over more often. You two wash up I brought takeout.” 

Hux blinked in surprise. “I- I don’t-”

“Don’t give me that boy it’s nearly ten and you’re eating something. What time do you need to be home?” Leia cut him off.

Hux shrunk away from her, looking genuinely intimidated by someone for the first time since Kylo had known him. “U- um… I don’t have a curfew.”

“Do you have a car?” She pressed

“No.”

“Well you’re sure as hell not walking home, where do you live?”

“I- live near First Order Prep….”

Leia pursed her lips. “Damn Star Killers…” She muttered. “Well I’m not driving you all the way across town either so you’re just going to have to stay here for tonight in the guest room.”

Hux stiffened. “I really couldn’t impose-”

“You’re staying here tonight. No more questions. Now shut up and do as I tell you, do you understand?” 

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Good. Now you boys wash up and get something to eat.” Leia turned away from the doorway, her footsteps retreating down the hall and leaving the boys alone.

Hux glanced over at Kylo, eyes wide to find that Kylo had returned to leaning his head back, staring blankly at the ceiling. “Your mother is terrifying.” He whispered.

“She is…  _ her _ .” Kylo replied. 

“How long were we asleep?” Hux yawned.

Kylo shrugged. “Not sure.” He admitted, pushing himself up and to his feet. “You sure you don’t have to be home?” Kylo added. “Because Leia  _ will _ force you to stay here if you don’t have a curfew.”

“Yes.” Came the response as Hux stood. “Trust me. When’s you dad coming home?”

“How should I know when Han get’s home?” Grouched Kylo, pouting.

“Boys!” Hux froze while Kylo rolled his eyes. 

“Ignore her.” Kylo muttered. 

“Stop being childish.”

“I’m never childish.” 

“ _ Boys! _ ” 

Hux gave Kylo one of his icy looks, rolling his eyes when the other offered a halfhearted fiery glare in return before both of them managed to walk somewhat civilly from the bedroom and back out into the front of the house.

Leia leaned forward against the kitchen counter, a carton of chinese takeout in one hand and a pair of chopsticks in the other while she stared down at columns of neat papers arranged all around her on the counter. “There’s more food on the kitchen table.” She gestured with her chopsticks into the dining room to the left of the kitchen, not looking up from her work. “You’ll want to get to the good stuff before Han gets here.” 

Kylo didn’t reply, instead he set his jaw and moved towards the table, drawing a few random cartons into his arms along with a pair of chopsticks and turning to make back for his room. 

“Ben don’t be rude you have company over.” Leia still hadn’t looked up; Hux stifled a small snigger. 

“He knows how to grab some food.” Kylo told her, shooting a murderous look in Hux’s direction. 

Leia looked up, raising an eyebrow. “Benjamin Solo-”

“Fine-!” Kylo cut her off, closing his eyes and looking towards Hux to find that the other was struggling to contain his laughter. “Nothing’s labeled so it’s russian roulette. Grab as much as you want and you can eat wherever.” He told him, his tone calm while his eyes threatened murder by fire. 

Hux smirked and Kylo’s glare sharpened. 

Scratch that. Murder by lava. 

“Thank you.” Hux told him, polite and proper as always when he needed to be.

Kylo gave a grunt of response, standing rigid as Hux randomly grasped two cartons of food and a handful of fortune cookies, realizing it was his turn to offer a taunting smirk when Hux turned back to him attempting to balance the small mound of wrapped cookies on top of his food. 

Hux said nothing, too busy trying to keep his treats from falling to the floor as he followed Kylo back to the other’s room. When Hux had entered and reclaimed his place leaning against the bed, Kylo kicked the door shut and fell into a sitting position beside him; both opening the cartons of chinese - five in all along with the cookies - and laying them on the ground around them. 

“Looks like general tso’s, chow mein, fried rice, sesame chicken, and sweet & sour.” Kylo prattled off the dishes, pointing to each with his chopsticks boredly. “This is mine.” He added, promptly stealing the entire carton of sweet & sour chicken for himself greedily.

“Then I’m taking the tso’s.” Retorted Hux, smirking when he saw Kylo’s face fall. “Since you want to be stingy; we’ll share the rest though as long as you don’t keep getting possessive over the food.”

“It’s my food.” Kylo mumbled around a mouthful of sweet & sour. 

“Ren don’t talk with your mouth full.” Hux chastised, snapping his chopsticks at him before beginning to eat.

“Piss off.” Kylo muttered, continuing to eat. 

Hux made a small noncommittal noise before taking a few more bites. “You don’t make her call you Kylo.” He observed after a moment, side-eying Kylo and seeing the other begin his pout. “I think I should start calling you Ben too.”

“You do that and you’ll find yourself waking up outside.” Threatened Kylo; Hux snickered and waved the his anger away with chopsticks lazily. 

“Fine fine. Whatever you want, Benjamin Solo…”

“You know what-!” Kylo abandoned his food, catching Hux in a sudden headlock that drew out a small yelp of shock from the slightly smaller boy beside him. Kylo tightened his hold just slightly, allowing Hux to breath but leaving no room for escape even as Hux struggled against him. “Apologize.” He growled. 

“Never to you.” Hissed Hux, narrowing his eyes and carefully lowering the container of food he had been holding to the floor before bracing his hands against Kylo’s arms; trying to push against them and pull his head free of the hold. 

Kylo tightened his grip. “You’re not getting out of this, Hux. Now apologize before you flailing spills the food.” 

“Fuck you.” Hux stilled, but didn’t do as he was told. 

“Do it Hux.”

“Bite me.” Hux felt Kylo tense just slightly, and he fought to keep himself from reddening at the implications of what he had just said as Kylo didn’t reply.  _ Okay look now I pissed him off don’t blush - fuck no don’t think of  _ that _ , shit Hux get it together. _ He was suddenly very aware of the back of his head being pressed into Kylo’s shoulder, an arm wound under his chin and around his throat as Kylo still hadn’t released his chokehold.

Kylo didn’t speak, and Hux’s heart raced, finding it hard to concentrate on anything other than the fact that he was now being held against Kylo’s chest and neither of them were saying a word.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Hux?” Kylo asked finally, still holding Hux in place.

“Trying to figure out when you’re going to let me go.” Hux thanked every god and goddess in existence that he had managed to keep his voice sounding irritated. 

“Is that right?” 

“Why would I lie to you?” Growled Hux sarcastically. 

“Well that  _ is _ the question isn’t it?” Kylo’s voice had been low since he had broken the silence between them, a tone Hux was finding difficult to handle. Kylo hesitated a moment before ignoring the warning voices screaming in his head. He loosened his grip - liking the weight of Hux against his chest - and leaned forward closer to Hux’s ear; dropping his voice to a whisper. “You seem distracted by something.” 

Hux went red, the tips of his ears flushing as bright a crimson as his face before Hux took advantage of the other’s loosened grip to break free. 

Kylo smirked. Arching his eyebrow and tilting his head as he crossed his arms. “What? Was it something I said?”

“I honestly doubt you showered after your last run.” Hux lied easily, curling his lip. “So it’s not exactly nice being pressed against you.”

Kylo pouted. “You’re no fun.” He grumbled, picking up one of the containers of food and trying to push away the thoughts of how Hux looked flustered.  _ I wonder how red he gets during… _ Kylo choked on a mouthful of his food at the thought, coughing and frantically forcing himself to think of anything else before things in his head got out of hand again.  _ But why did he blush? _ A little nagging voice in the back of his head asked as Kylo finally caught his breath. He glanced at Hux, half-expecting to be on the receiving end of a half-mocking, half-disgusted look only to find that the other was lost in thought.

_ Shock maybe? _ Kylo reasoned with himself.  _ Having someone suddenly whisper into your ear could make people flustered I guess. Didn’t realize he’d be phazed by something like that though…. Or maybe he’s just never dealt with this kind of thing before…. _

_ Or maybe he’d be pretty responsive if you just kissed hi- can you not, brain?!  _ Kylo shook the thoughts away again and stuffed his face with food so he didn’t have to think anymore; pushing himself to his feet when he was done and stretching. “Well since I did skip that shower.” He muttered. “I’m going first.”  _ Might as well get these thoughts out now…  _

Hux glanced at him and nodded. “Good. You smell.” He tsked, the red in his face gone as he reached for more food with a bored expression. 

“You wound me.”

“Then I’m doing my job.”

Kylo grabbed his towel and some clothes, stepping out of his room and towards the bathroom before he could say anything stupid. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *mutual thirst intensifies*


	8. An Ocean

When Hux finally heard the water turn off in the bathroom he felt himself go rigid, trying to keep away all the thoughts of Kylo walking through the door wearing nothing but a towel and instead forcing himself to prattle off the list of rank and file in tedious order over and over to keep his mind from wandering.

It didn’t work. Nothing worked. Every time he worked his way down the list of ranks to ‘private’ all he saw was Kylo wearing the blue and black uniform that seemed to hug every curve and line….

Hux would growl and shake his head, unwrapping yet another fortune cookie before starting the list over and wishing he was anywhere else. 

Kylo reentered the bedroom, a towel slung over his head and wearing nothing but pajama pants. “You’re up.” He grunted. “I have clothes you can sleep in.” 

Hux dragged his eyes away from the other’s shirtless figure, standing and watching as Kylo rummaged through his dresser before pulling out a change of clothes. “I’ll just go commando.” He told him when Kylo hesitated before handing him the pants and shirt.

Kylo struggled to keep his screaming internal, tossing the handful of material over and reaching up to towel off his dripping hair. He glanced back at Hux out of the corner of his eye, catching the other turn stiffly on his heel and walk from the room with a clenched jaw.  _ What’d I do this time? _ He rolled his eyes and shook his head, abandoning the near impossible task of drying his mop of hair and simply leaving the towel lying over his head before wandering over to his bed and collapsing back onto the comforter. 

After a moment, he looked away from the ceiling towards the digital clock on his nightstand - the red numbers reading 11:15 and causing him to push himself out of bed with a sigh. Kylo gathered together the empty containers of food, sweeping the fortune cookie wrappers into the cartons and setting the uneaten cookies on his desk before heading towards the kitchen to throw away the trash.

Leia was still leaning against the counter, her papers decidedly messier as she looked them over; not that she seemed to mind much. “Where’s your friend?” She asked, not looking up as Kylo stepped into the kitchen.

“Showering.” Replied Kylo.

“I’m surprised you brought someone over.” Leia mused affectionately. “You don’t exactly make friends easily.”

“Well, who’s fault is that?” Kylo muttered.

Leia looked up at that, her face creasing into pained frowned. “Ben…” She sighed. “Please don’t right now.”

Kylo nodded. “Work. Right. Should have guessed. You’d probably prefer I go practice the piano anyway wouldn’t you?” His voice was soft, and he turned away before Leia could respond. He moved down the hall, coming into a wide open area that had been converted into a second living room at the other end and sitting down at the piano that was the room’s main piece of furniture. 

He let his hands hover over the keys for a moment before his shoulders relaxed and he started to play a slow, almost mournful-sounding song. 

When Hux walked out of the bathroom fully dressed in his borrowed sleep-clothes he wasn’t sure what he expected, but walking towards the sound of the music to find a shirtless Kylo playing the piano was not it and quickly became something he didn’t know if he could handle. 

He stepped further into the second living room, moving to lean against the piano - it wasn’t as expensive as the school’s but it wasn’t secondhand either - and Kylo’s eyes flickered to him just as the pace of the song began to change into something lighter and happier. 

Kylo returned his attention to his playing, swaying slightly with the beginnings of a smile on his face as he continued. 

For a moment, the music stopped, and Hux thought that he had finished, only for Kylo to swipe his tongue over his lips and rake his eyes across the keys before allowing his fingers to fly at a seemingly impossible speed to start the song up again. 

Hux laughed despite himself, and Kylo grinned, allowing himself to show off until he had played the final dramatic notes of the song. 

To his credit, Hux managed to clap; albeit slowly and somewhat sarcastically. “What was that called?” He asked.

“Moonlight Sonata.” Hux replied, adding, “It’s Beethoven.”

Hux shook his head, his expression vaguely amazed. “Who taught you to play?”

“My uncle Luke.” Shrugged Kylo. “I was a lot younger but I was showing signs of being a child prodigy so Leia sent me to him for teaching - he started playing at nineteen but became one of the best pianists in the country.” He grimaced. “And I mean I learned but uh… his training methods…”

“What?”

“Don’t ask.” Kylo shook his head with a shudder. 

“I won’t.” Assured Hux. “So wait does that mean you’re a piano prodigy?” He joked.

Kylo looked away with a pout. “I mean I had a few recitals and concerts when I was younger but I haven’t done that in awhile.”

Hux frowned. “Why not, you’re good.”

“Don’t want to.”

“For someone who can tell when other people lie so easily you’re a terrible liar yourself.” Countered Hux. “You practically jumped at the chance to play for a crowd your first day at First Order.”

“Who says I was playing for the crowd?” Kylo retorted stubbornly. 

“Well then who were you playing for?” Asked Hux.

“I just wanted to play.” 

Hux reached out and flicked his forehead. “You like playing so why not keep playing?”

“I do play. Right here at home.” Kylo closed the cover of the keyboard and leaned to rest an elbow on the wood, reminding Hux that the other was still very much without a shirt. 

“Why are you being difficult?” Hux asked him.

Kylo shrugged again. “It’s my job to make my babysitter’s life difficult isn’t it?” He asked, adding, “Am I succeeding?” 

Hux forced himself not to look at the exposed skin. “Yes.”

“Good.” 

“But I hope you know that the more difficult you are for me the more I’ll celebrate when I’m finally done being your babysitter.” Hux lifted his chin with a smirk as Kylo rolled his eyes.

“Says the one comfortably having himself a little slumber party.” The other mocked childishly.

Hux leaned close to Kylo’s face, wanting to regain some dignity after what had happened earlier. “I’m here because your mom is a force of nature.” He said under his breath - wondering if his eyes were betraying him or if he really did see Kylo’s breath hitch at their sudden proximity. “Not because I like you.” His lips quirked upwards at the corners in an impudent smile and he turned away from Kylo and the piano. “I’ll ask your mom about the spare room.” He said over his shoulder, elated that he was managing to play this out. “She seems to be better company anyway.”

Kylo swallowed hard, staring at Hux’s back receding down into the hall before remembering how to breathe.  _ I’m fucked. _ His mind could only register one cohesive thought and that was it; he didn’t even have the strength to think about the very welcome literal implications of the thought. All he knew was that he was, in fact, fucked. 

When his mind finally pieced itself back together he rose from the piano bench and escaped into his room, running a hand through his hair to forget about the person getting ready for bed in the room beside his. The person who had been inches away from his face, close enough to kiss; wearing a pair of Kylo’s pajama pants and a sleep shirt  - and damn if Kylo hadn’t liked the way Hux had looked in his clothes - with nothing underneath  _ if  _ he even kept the clothes on while he slept. 

Kylo cursed under his breath and cut off his lights, flopping down onto his bed to stare up at the dark ceiling. He rested his hand across his chest, turning his head to stare at the wall between his room and the guest room as if he could somehow see through it; wondering when fifteen feet began feeling like an ocean. 

****

Hux laid in the guest bedroom curled into a comfortable ball, his nose pressed against his own shoulder and feeling childish at how warm it made him to be wearing Kylo’s clothes. After a moment in the dark he glanced over at the wall that separated the rooms, suddenly sure that if the person on the other side decided he felt the same way he did, he’d cross an ocean to get to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Tr0otuiQuU  
> ^^^ That's the Song Kylo was playing btw  
> Also yes I swapped being a Jedi for being a Piano Prodigy and I don't even have an explanation for it tbh...


	9. Bedhead

“Hux wake up!” 

Hux sat bolt upright, blinking sleep away from his eyes and looking towards the closed bedroom door. “Wha-?”

“I mean unless you want to be late for-” Kylo’s voice was broken by a sudden yawn before he continued. “School…” He finished sleepily. 

“Right.” Hux replied. Shit my uniform I didn’t even think about-"

“Your stuffs clean too just to you know. Leia made sure of that.” Kylo yawned again. “Hurry up already.”

Hux swung his feet to the floor. “I’m up just give me a seco-.” He opened the door and stopped, finding Kylo still shirtless on the other side, rubbing his eyes and doing nothing to tame some of the  _ worst _ bed-head Hux had ever seen. Hux hid a grin just as Kylo’s eyes swung up to Hux’s hair.

“I have never seen your hair look this much of a mess.” He said, still sounding half asleep.

“Sadly I don’t think I can say the same for you.” Hux replied cheerfully.

“Shut up.” Kylo padded away from Hux’s door, and Hux his an amused smile. 

_ Not a morning person. _ He thought, following Kylo out into the kitchen; continuing to watch as Kylo leaned against the kitchen counter and began spooning cereal into his mouth. For a moment, Hux felt the almost overwhelming desire to walk up behind him and wrap his arms around Kylo’s waist, pressing his head into the messy mop of the other’s hair before closing his eyes. 

“My uniform?” Hux asked instead, pushing away the thought and swallowing the sudden lump in his throat. 

“Couch.” Grumbled Kylo, not looking up. 

Hux moved over towards the couch, finding his uniform neatly washed and pressed and pulling it into his arms before silently retreating back to the guest room; not wanting to test his luck any further by staying in the same room as Kylo while the other still had so little on. He began undressing and pulling on his everyday school uniform calmly. He looped the tie around his neck and tied it swiftly, finding himself neatly dressed before much more time had passed and moving from the room towards the bathroom to see what he could do about his hair. 

When he returned to the living room, dressed with hair slicked into it’s usual style, Kylo was nowhere in sight. Hux frowned and turned back to the hall, knocking on Kylo’s door only to be greeted by a loud groan. 

“Ren.” Hux t’sked. Opening the door and stepping into the room to find Kylo lying in his bed rolled up in his blankets like a burrito. “Ren get up.”

“No.” Came the muffled voice. “I woke you up. That was my job.” 

“Ren.” Hux walked across the bedroom floor and reached for the comforter, taking it in  his hands and pulling. “Get up and get dressed.” 

“I am dressed.” Kylo let out a huff as Hux tugged the blanket and pulled him off the bed  onto the floor, causing the burrito to unroll to reveal a fully dressed Kylo in his school uniform.

“Where’s your tie?” Asked Hux, looking down at Kylo as the other grudgingly moved into a hunched-over sitting position.  

“I’m wearing it.” Mumbled Kylo childishly, pouting.

Hux squinted at the fabric around his neck. “What is that knot supposed to be?”

“How should I know?”

Hux narrowed his eyes, t’sking again and squatting down in front of Kylo, his fingers reaching to flip up his collar, undoing the horribly done-up tie and retying it neatly without a second thought. “Now put on your shoes and let’s go before we’re late.” He said, standing up again and padding out to the living room. 

“... ‘kay.” Kylo mumbled under his breath, looking away and trying to hide the pink that had risen to his cheeks. 

To Hux’s surprise, Kylo joined him in the living room a few minutes later, completely dressed with his bag over one shoulder and his hair nowhere near the unkempt mess it had been earlier. “Let’s go.” Kylo yawned.

“How did you find the energy for PT yesterday if this is how you act in the morning?” Hux asked, shaking his head as the two of them began for the front door. 

“It’s one day out of the month, figured I might as well do it.” Kylo replied.  _ That and you’re not bad incentive… _ He added internally. 

“Where are your parents?” 

“Gone.” Kylo locked the front door and stuffed his keys into his pocket. “Leia left for work early this morning and I’m not sure if Han came home.” 

Hux glanced at him, opening his mouth to say something. 

“Don’t.” Kylo cut him off, yawning again. “It’s too early for your shit.”

“It’s seven.”

“Too early.”

Hux sighed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “Fine. Whatever you say, Ren.”

“Finally you start listening to me.”

“I don’t think I will ever listen to you, I just don’t want to deal with you bitching or throwing a tantrum.” 

Kylo pouted as they continued to walk. “I don’t throw tantrums.”

“Liar.”

“Heyyyy It’s Runaway Emo and General Ginger!” 

Both boys stopped, turning as a familiar female voice cut into their conversation. They turned, finding Rey walking towards them down the sidewalk, a backpack across her back and two boys trailing behind her. 

“Dammit.” Kylo’s pout became a fire-starting scowl. “I forgot how close Republic was to my house…” 

Rey grinned as she approached, nudging one of the boys beside her in the ribs gently. “Finn, this is the one I was telling you about.”

“I know him.” The boy, Finn, replied. “I was there the first day he transferred.” Finn purposely seemed to be avoiding eye contact with Hux until the boy on the other side of Rey slung an arm around his shoulder. 

“Is this the one in charge of the JROTC program you said everyone was afraid of?” He asked, nodding to Hux.

“Wait- General Ginger is the feared tyrant?” Rey raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “The angst child over there scares me more than this guy.”

Hux swept his eyes over the trio of public school students for a moment. “Ren, we’ll be late.” He said finally, his voice crisp. 

“You’re just gonna take that?” Kylo growled.

“Take what? Petty insults from a gaggle of teens who are beneath me?” Hux shrugged. “The better question would be why would I let it bother me?”

“Oh snap.” The second boy whispered.

“Wreck him Poe.” Rey prodded the second boys side. 

“Nah he doesn’t wanna be here imma wreck this one.” Poe looked at Kylo, who was seething. For a moment, both of them were silent. “ … Who talks first? Do you talk first or-?”

“Oh my fucking god you three-!” 

Hux caught Kylo’s wrist before the other could get the poised punch close enough to Poe to warrant a threat. “We’ll be going now.” He sighed, rolling his eyes. Hux tugged at Kylo’s wrist. “Come on Ren, it’s not even remotely worth it.” His tone was bored. 

Kylo growled something but allowed himself to be dragged away by Hux, muttering and grumbling under his breath until the trio were far out of their sight. 

“How dare they.” He hissed when Hux finally stopped walking a block away from First Order. 

“They’re normal teenagers, and you’re a dick. Why wouldn’t they want to knock you down a peg when they get the chance?” Hux replied crisply.

“The one, Finn…”

“He used to go here, stopped going the same day you transferred in. He was in my battalion.” Hux realized he was still holding onto Kylo’s wrist and - after some hesitation - released it. “Did you know any of them?” He asked after a moment. “Poe seemed adamant on showing you up.” Hux felt a spark of jealousy flare in his stomach. 

“He’s the prize of the JROTC color guard.” Kylo told him. “Brought back more medals than anyone else in every year he’s been at Republic. He only knows me because of Leia and I never wanted anything to do with what she did.” 

Hux had to hide a satisfied smile. “Oh.” Was all he felt it was safe to say. 

Kylo glanced over at him. “Hey Hux?” He asked.

“What?”

“What’s been up with you?” Kylo focused forward again. “You’ve been acting off since yesterday.”

Hux blinked at the sudden straightforwardness of the question, wondering if he was really that transparent or if Kylo was really that good at reading people; probably both. “Nothing dumbass.” He set his jaw. 

“Liar.” Came the response.”You’ve been lying a lot too and I’ve been letting it slide, don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

“What’s with the sudden interrogation?” Hux asked blandly.

“Just feel like asking. It’s not fun making you be my babysitter if you become indifferent to it.” 

_ I’m not indifferent, I like having you around… _ “Don’t worry, Ren.” Hux said aloud. “You’re still a complete inconvenience.”  _ This is really not the direction you should be going with this you idiot… _

“ _ Isn’t that just wonderful to hear. _ ” Kylo’s voice was venomous, and Hux’s head snapped towards him as if pulled by a string. Kylo was staring straight ahead at the open gate that led to their school, glaring flames; his fingers curling into fists before he shoved his hands into his pockets. 

Hux opened his mouth, an apology ready before he could even register the fact that he was about to  _ actually apologize _ only for Kylo to stalk forward through the gates, leaving him alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short TFA trio cameo and now introducing- Angst! Yay!


	10. Fixation

Kylo resigned himself to being silently irritated throughout morning JROTC. If he wasn’t going to be able to hide his emotions about Hux’s comment then it was better to look irritated than hurt. 

Not that he let Hux  _ know _ what he had said was getting to him. In fact he stayed as far away from the the boy as possible, sitting near a window at the back of the JROTC hall and moodily toying with one of the fake drill team rifles aimlessly as the rest of the battalion went about doing… whatever the hell JROTC was  _ supposed _ to do - Kylo didn’t know and he didn't care.  All he cared about was the fact that Hux apparently thought of him as just an inconvenience, and so what if he and Hux always insulted each other like that it had still hurt; which was probably the worst part, the fact that it had actually hurt.

He frowned moodily as he looked down at the stock rifle in his hands, more mad at himself than anything else.  _ When I get this soft? _ He asked himself, spinning the rifle in his fingers absently.  _ Letting some comment from an inconsequential nobody get to me like this. _

“Ren.”

Kylo’s stomach twisted into knots, and his heart leapt; his face passive despite the acrobatics being performed by his internal organs. “Hm?” He asked Hux, suddenly aware of the other’s presence at his side. 

“You’ve been sitting over here with the stock rifle all class period.” Hux said.

“Oh really, I didn’t notice.” Kylo sighed, spinning the rifle again nimbly without looking up. The movement of the rifle in his hands paused for a moment as Hux hesitated. 

“You seem… off.” Hux said finally, voice impassive. 

_ I’m sorry, am I inconveniencing you? _ Kylo choked back the biting retort, unwilling to show that he was hurt. “I’m still tired.” Was all he said, twisting the rifle again. 

“Kylo.”

Kylo’s stomach flipped again, the feeling somehow ten times worse than it had been the first time; the rifle in his hands slipped as he twisted it and clattered to the floor. Kylo cursed. “What?” He snapped, raising his eyes to glare at Hux to hide his emotions. 

Hux opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, before deciding against it and turning away. Hux approached the remainder of his battalion, drawing in careful breaths to keep himself from overthinking everything that had just happened - like Kylo dropping a fake rifle when he had chosen to call him by something other than an informal, if fake, last name.  _ Why’d you do that, he didn’t want to talk to you, he was pissed this morning. _

“These idiots can’t drill worth shit.” 

Hux jumped, turning and realizing that Kylo had left his corner and moved to stand beside him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“They’re sloppy, their moves aren’t in sync and they can’t toss from what I’ve seen, don’t you have an actual drill team?” Kylo’s voice seemed tense - or maybe he was just imagining it. 

“We used to but they graduated, now we just drill with whoever.” Hux grouched, trying to hide a smile of relief now that Kylo was talking to him again. 

“I’ll see if I can’t teach them some things.” Kylo replied.

“I thought you ignored everything having to do with Leia’s work.”

“I didn’t ignore it I just wouldn’t join in on her team.” Corrected Kylo with a pout. “I would practice though, I could have been half decent on a drill team or color guard if I had joined I guess.”

“Look at you being generous.” Hux teased, attempting to get them back into their usual banter instead of the distant way they were talking to each other. “We should rename our nonexistent drill team The Knights of Ren."

“Shut up.” Kylo hoisted his stock rifle and began toying with it absently, spinning and twisting it in his hands before throwing it up and catching it effortlessly; starting the process over again when he was done and adding movements into it each time. 

After a moment, members of the battalion began wandering over to watch the small display. When he had done the students clapped appreciatively, and Kylo glanced around with a bored expression. “Trust me if Poe Dameron were here he’d be showing me up without a problem.” He admitted. 

“You seem to regard him highly.” Hux observed, waving the others away to continue drilling. 

“He has talents, and we could use him if we convinced him to transfer.” Replied Kylo.

“Do you want Poe Dameron to transfer?” He set his jaw, looking over the battalion as they drilled. 

“It wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen.” 

“That wasn’t what I asked.” Hux inwardly kicked himself at his tone, forcing himself to keep his face expressionless even when Kylo turned to him with a raised eyebrow. 

Kylo felt the knot in his stomach loosen, replaced by a twinge of curiosity as he tilted his head to the side. “What are you thinking about?” He prompted slowly. 

“Nothing.” Hux shook his head. “It’s nothing.” He looked away. “What’s that guy like anyway?” Hux found himself asking, trying to push down the jealousy flaring to life in his chest all over again. 

“A boy scout.” Replied Kylo. “Likes just about everyone and just about everyone likes him, we were never on friendly terms though.” He shrugged, giving the stock rifle another absent twirl. “Why’ve you been so fixated on him anyway?” Kylo asked suddenly, voice casual. 

“I’m not  _ fixated _ on him.” Hux wrinkled his nose in an obvious expression of distaste. “Don’t insinuate something like that.” 

Kylo laughed softly under his breath. “Yeah alright…”

“What you don’t believe me?” Hux challenged. 

“No I believe you.” Kylo shook his head, glancing over at Hux. “I can tell when people lie, and you’re not lying.” He hid a small smile and looked away before chancing to speak up again. “So who are you fixated on then?”

Hux stiffened. “I’m not fixated on anyone.” He told him.

Kylo tilted his head to the side. “Well that’s interesting.” He murmured.

“What?”

“Now you’re lying.” 

The bell rang, releasing them from their first period, and Hux quickly took the opportunity to turn away from Kylo and make for the JROTC room’s doors. 

“You don’t have to lie to me, Cadet Colonel.” Kylo caught up to him easily, and Hux was stuck between being relieved that the two of them seemed to be back on equal terms and wanting to never speak to Kylo again. “Your object of affection couldn’t be that much of a blow to your reputation.” 

“I could care less about my reputation.” Hux said honestly, wishing Kylo would just drop the subject before he ended up saying something he couldn’t take back. 

“Then why the sudden secrecy?” Kylo pressed. 

“Because my life is none of your business.” 

“True.” Kylo conceded. “But I’m also nosey and now I’m curious.”

Hux sighed and rounded on him. “What about you then?” He asked suddenly, noting the way Kylo’s mouth quickly snapped shut. “Who are you  _ fixated _ on?” He repeated with more venom than he had intended. 

Kylo recovered from the question quickly, shrugging and leaning forward on his toes just a fraction into Hux’s personal space. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

Hux glared daggers into him to keep himself from showing just how badly his legs wanted to turn to jelly at the other’s tone. “You’re the one pestering me.” He forced himself to reply simply, not giving an inch. “I don’t know Ren, if I didn’t know any better I’d say  _ I’m _ the one you’re fixated on.”

Kylo jerked back, something like panic flashing across his face before the expression vanished. “Only in your dreams, Hux.” He smiled with false sweetness, but the gesture was wrong, forced until Kylo’s pout rose to cover it. “We’re gonna be late.” He muttered. 

“Oh so now you care about being late to class?” Hux asked, turning to resume their walk to their classes. 

“I care about being late to the only class I get to get a break from you.” Kylo fired back, still pouting. 

“Well then let’s make sure we get you there as soon as possible.” Hux announced, not knowing for the life of him why he was still pushing his luck. “But you know, for someone who wants to get away from me so badly you seem to be looking forward to prom.”

“I’m looking forward to ruining your night.” Kylo corrected snidely. “There’s a difference; and for someone who thinks I’m an inconvenience you seem to be more than okay spending time with me after school hours when you’re not required to.” 

“I guess we just both like making each other miserable don’t we?” Hux growled.

Kylo’s hand latched onto the strap of Hux’s bag as they passed Kylo’s class, the ginger boy having no intention of stopping to continue their bickering until he was forcibly halted. “What if I just decided to go with someone else then, spare you the trouble?” Kylo asked. 

Hux grasped his shoulder strap in his own hand and pulled it free from Kylo’s grip. “What?”

“Plenty of senior girls are desperate to be asked to their senior prom.” Kylo continued. “I’ll be able to find a date and actually go with someone.”

“Prom’s in two weeks you won’t find a date before then.” Hux argued stubbornly.

Kylo narrowed his eyes before turning to a girl entering the classroom. “You, do you have a prom date?” He asked.

“U-um… no..?”

“Do you want one?”

“S...uuurrreee?”

“We’ll all be late to class if you keep this up, Ren.” Hux broke in. He looked at the girl. “You can go.” He told her somewhat coldly. “He’s being childish. “

The girl gave the both of them a swift, confused look before moving into the classroom, just missing the fierce glare Kylo shot Hux. “I had a date, Hux.” He hissed. “And you scared her off.”

Hux rolled his eyes. “If she’s really willing to go with you then you’ll have no problem convincing her again during class, will you?” He challenged sharply. 

“That’s not the point and you know it.” Kylo snapped. 

“Then enlighten me.” Hux lifted his chin, feigning innocence. “Because I don't see what you’re getting at here.” Kylo was silent for a moment as he angrily grasped for a shred of cohesive thought before Hux nodded pointedly. “Exactly. Even you don’t know, so excuse me but I need to get to class.” 

Kylo let out a wordless exclamation of fury after him as Hux walked away, turning into his classroom only to be met with the same girl standing in the doorway.

She pursed her lips, arms folded as she shook her head. “Dude…” She told Kylo, lowering her voice. “Just kiss already.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random girl in random plot-less chapter knows wassup.  
> And speaking of plots, that is a thing that will be picking up soon so yeah. *awkward thumbs up*


	11. Dinner With The Family

That entire day continued in the same fashion, constant bickering that lead nowhere whenever the two were in close proximity; meaning nearly every class period as, despite everything, they seemed nearly inseparable. 

Hux only had only hoped he could escape quickly when the final bell rang, saving himself from any more close calls only to be yanked back as Kylo’s hand shot out to grasp at the strap of his bag.

“Leia wants you to come over again.” Kylo muttered, pouting darkly. “She’ll be home early today and so will Han.”

Hux eyed him disbelievingly. “Why?”

“How should I know?” Kylo snapped. “She just texted me saying to invite you over again and I’d rather not get into it with her over something stupid like not doing something so simple.” He released the strap of Hux’s bag, glancing away with a shrug. “Well?”

For a moment, Hux considered denying the request; only to find himself suddenly remembering the day before he sent at the other’s house, and how nice it had been just to be near him. 

“Sure why not.” He replied, his voice level. “It’s polite to meet the parents of your prom date anyway, isn’t it?” He added sarcastically.

“I had multiple prom dates lined up and you sabotaged me every time!” Kylo protested as the two made for the doors of the school. 

“What can I say, it’s entertaining watching you struggle.”

“Mmmhmm, yeah, sure it is.” Kylo muttered. “Keep telling yourself that Hux.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Snapped Hux.

“You tell me.” Kylo sighed innocently.  _ I’m tired of waiting, Hux _ . He said inwardly,  _ You may be dense about these things but I’m not. _

Hux adjusted the strap of his bag, looking straight ahead as they began walking away from the school and towards Kylo’s house. “You’re trying to play psychic again, I know it.” He told the other. “It’s not gonna work.”

Kylo lifted his chin. “It already has worked.” He declared. “I know who you’re fixated on.”

Hux’s mouth went dry, and he was thankful that his footsteps didn’t falter as they continued moving. “You’re still talking about that?” He asked boredly. 

“Yes.” Kylo nodded. “And I really should have figured it out awhile ago but I guess I just wasn’t looking in the right places; you’re not very good at hiding your emotions.”

Hux focused on his walking, looking straight ahead and forcing himself to speak normally, calmly, as if his heart wasn’t slamming away at the inside of his ribcage. “Are you about to play the guessing game because if you are just get on with it.”

Kylo stopped walking, and Hux followed suit, looking back at the indiscernible expression on Kylo’s face that borderlined triumph. “You know where I’m going with this, Hux, you’re not that stupid.” He said, rolling his eyes. “You’re not just going to come out and admit it?”

Hux studied him for a moment, face impassive before clicking his tongue against his teeth in irritation. “You’re so full of yourself.” He shook his head calmly, wondering if Kylo’s constant knack for seeing through a lie always worked. “It’s almost endearing.” Hux shrugged and turning away. “You know with all of this it still seems like you’re the one fixated on me because it sure as hell isn’t the other way around.” 

Kylo stiffened, frozen for a moment as Hux continued walking.  _ I was… wrong? _

***

The two of them were greeted at the door to Kylo’s home by Leia, both of them stepping inside to find the place brimming with activity. 

Leia moved back into the kitchen, which was already partly occupied by an aproned Finn and Rey; Rey only halfway paying attention to the food while she listened to the stories being told to her and an eager Poe by a lively-looking man that could only have been Han Solo. 

“Hey! It’s General Ginger!” Rey grinned when she saw them enter, beaming at them brightly as if they hadn’t had an almost disastrous encounter that morning. 

Hux pursed his lips. “You’re a cheerful person, aren’t you?” He observed dryly. Rey shrugged and resumed listening to Han’s story. 

“Rey told me that you three met when she decided to sneak into First order saying I asked her to.” Leia told Hux, shooting a pointed look at Rey, who guiltily glanced away. “Did she cause any trouble over at Vader’s old place?”

Hux side-eyed Kylo, who had gone silent. “Not overmuch.” 

Poe glanced backwards towards the entryway, seeing Kylo and Hux standing there. “Hey Ben!” He called, smiling. “Sorry for this morning.” Kylo looked at him silently as Poe continued. “You still know our dance, bud?”

At that Kylo turned and walked down the hall towards his room.

“He still doesn’t like it when you call him Ben, does he?” Poe observed.

“No.” Replied Han as Leia and the others turned their attentions elsewhere. 

“Imma go talk to him-.” Poe made as if to move from his chair, only to be rooted into place by a chilling glare from Hux.

“Don’t trouble yourself.” Hux’s voice was soft. “I can do it.”

Poe quickly sat back down as Hux made the turn towards Kylo’s room, not bothering to knock on the door before entering. 

Kylo was sitting on the floor, leaning back against his bed with a wii controller in his hands as the mario Kart start screen idled on the TV. 

Hux allowed himself a small smile and kicked the door closed behind him gently before sitting down beside Kylo, taking the spare controller the other had set on the floor beside him into his hands and allowing the system to randomize his character. 

“You two weren’t close, huh?” He prompted after a moment; their first race was about to start but Kylo hadn’t said a word. 

“We weren’t” Kylo muttered. “He just wanted to get close to Han.”

“He does seem like a different person than he was this morning…” Hux agreed.

“That’s how he’s always been, actually.” Kylo replied. “Probably trying to get me to say something to him… asshole.” 

Hux let the controller in his hands go slack, a question nagging away in the back of his mind that needed answering. “Were you two…?” He let the last word hang in the air though the question was still clear.

“No.” Kylo shook his head decisively, watching the screen but not bothering to play the game anymore as they talked; though his mind was far from their conversation. _I was wrong._ He thought almost numbly. _All of those signs but he doesn’t_ … He shot a quick glance at Hux out of the corner of his eye. _He could be lying… But I can tell when people lie… was he lying when he said all that earlier? I don’t remember… What if it doesn’t always work on  him…?_ _Maybe he was lying… I should say something… I could tell him… But then if he was telling the truth he’d just-!_

“Kylo?” Hux’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. “You had this…  _ look _ on your face, everything alright?”

Kylo clenched his jaw. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He muttered, his pout stamped onto his face. 

“Alright… but you still suck at Mario Kart.” 

“Shut up.”

A firm knocking on the door turned both their attentions towards a figure stepping through the doorway. “You didn’t invite me?” Poe grinned good-naturedly, seeing the game set up on the screen. He glanced over at Kylo and his smile widened. “Don’t give me that look, I’m just here because your mom asked me over.”

“Right.” Kylo replied tersely. 

Poe’s smile didn’t waver. “You still do that pout.” He laughed, glancing at Hux. “It’s his thing.”

“I know.”

Poe’s shoulder’s hunched, and he tensed at Hux’s icy tone. “You don’t like me.” He guessed after a moment.

“What makes you say that?” Hux tilted his head to the side, voice still scarily calm. “I barely know you.”

“Right…” Poe chuckled nervously before looking at Kylo. “He seems like just your type man.” He stage-whispered. 

“ _ Out. _ ”

“Getting out.”  Poe turned quickly on his heels at Kylo’s order.

“Finn takes a little time to warm up to someone.” Hux said to Poe’s back. “Just a little FYI; as someone who knows from experience.” 

Poe tensed, but closed the door behind him without another word.

“Wait what’s that supposed to mean?” Kylo couldn't help but ask. “You and Finn-?”

“No.” Hux rolled his eyes, lifting his chin with a satisfied smirk. “But I’ve seen the way those two look at each other; and I don’t like him.”

“Rude, Hux.” Kylo’s pout formed again. “That’s low, even for you.”

“Maybe, but it felt good.”  _ And what did he mean that I’m your type…  _

“Mind games are supposed to be my thing.” Kylo insisted. 

Hux waved his protests away. “I’m good at them too, don’t monopolize a way to mess with people.” 

“Not the point-!”

“So you have a type?” The words slipped out before Hux could catch them, leaving the two in a sudden, thick silence. 

After a few moments; “Poe thinks I have a type, doesn’t mean that I do.”  Kylo told him evenly. 

“You seemed pretty defensive about it.”  _ Stop pushing the subject _ ! 

“I was tired of talking to him.” Before Hux could question him further, Kylo stood. 

He moved abruptly across the room without saying a word, opening the door and making for the second living room; sitting at the piano as Hux entered the room behind him. Before Hux could ask him what he was about to play, Kylo had begun moving his hands over the keys almost as if he was trying to transfer his emotion into the plastic. 

Almost instantly, Hux became aware of the presence of Rey, Finn and Poe behind him, the three others standing and watching the performance until Kylo had finished - a short piece not even lasting two minutes. 

“What was that one?” Hux asked, ignoring the others.

“Mine.” Muttered Kylo, not realizing that his playing had attracted a small crowd. 

“You wrote that?” Rey blinked at him, eyes intent. “Have you written any others?”

Kylo rolled his shoulder, seeming slightly put-off by her presence. “I haven’t tried to, my uncle taught me that the piece you write should be the one that defines you.” He paused. “I know my grandfather’s though.” Kylo added after a moment, eyes glinting. “He was the best player the country’s ever seen from what I’ve heard, and I mastered his song.”

“Play it.” Rey challenged.

Kylo narrowed his eyes and turned his attention back to the keys, beginning a heavy-handed, menacing song through to the end without allowing his fingers to slip once. 

When he had finished, he shut the keyboard cover firmy, signalling that he was done playing. “Concerts over.” He said, a pout forming on his lips. “Leia probably wants you three back.”

“Actually we needed to talk to you.” Rey replied, crossing her arms. 

At that Kylo’s pout vanished, replaced by a scowl. “Why?”

“We think you should come back to Republic.”

“No.” Kylo told her instantly. “Why are you three so determined anyway?”

“Because Leia wants you to come back to her school.” Poe spoke up. ”She wanted you to be involved in what she did while you were there but you refused and then you pulled strings and used your granddad to get you into First Order without having to pay or your parents permission.” Poe looked hurt. “You just left everyone.”

“None of those people were worth my time.” Kylo replied simply, he jerked his head towards Hux. “Besides, this one’ll kill me if I leave now. I said I’d help out his JROTC program.”

“He may be invaluable, I’m still trying to see how much he’s worth.” Hux agreed.

“You know, from you that just sounds sarcastic.” Kylo muttered.

“That’s the point.”

Poe took a step forward. “Ben-” 

“Don’t call me that.” Kylo snapped. “And stop trying to convince me to do something you know is never going to happen.” He added. Kylo stood from the piano bench and forced his way passed the trio, stopping only when Rey caught his wrist firmly.

“Your parents don’t deserve your entitled ego.” She told him, lowering her voice so she couldn't be heard out in the other living room where Han and Leia were. “They’ve worked hard to-!”   


Kylo looked down at her hand around his wrist for a moment before lifting his eyes to meet hers, his expression cold. “Let go.” He said softly, watching as Rey’s hand released its grip as if she had been burned. “And don’t talk as if you know anything.”

***

When the seven sat down to dinner some time later, none of the teenagers spoke; a rarity when someone like Poe Dameron was around. 

“All of you are quiet.” Leia observed finally, sweeping questioning eyes around the table. “Don’t look at me.” Han grunted.

Leia gave him a small look, and he replied with a shrug. “Poe, how’s your racing coming along?” Han asked. “Haven’t seen you down at the track in a few weeks.”

Poe smiled brightly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve been working to the bone for color guard and the drill team, haven’t had time.”

Han leaned forward to rest his elbow on the table, stabbing a finger forward into the air towards Leia; who simply raised an eyebrow. “Don’t hold this kid back with your program; he deserves to be down cleaning up those tracks like he always is - kid’s the best damn driver in the galaxy.” 

Poe chuckled with embarrassment. “I wouldn’t say that, Mr. Solo but thank you; and I wouldn’t be using my time with the drill team if I didn’t want to.”

“Thats besides the point-.” 

“That’s exactly the point.” Leia broke in with reserved triumph. “He enjoys it so let him enjoy it, Han.”

Han grunted, but didn't protest again, instead turning his attention to Rey who had been quietly watching the scene. “I’ve seen you down at the auto-yards and mechanic’s shops, you know your way around an engine?” He asked her.

She nodded, wide-eyed. “Yes, I might be able to do something about that old beater you have in the garage.”

“Listen you little-” Han broke off. “That car’s the Millennium Falcon, ever heard of it?” 

“I’ve heard of a Millennium Falcon that’s the king of just about every track in the state.” Rey replied. “But… that couldn’t be it…?” She added with obvious disbelief.

“It can’t drive worth shit in the rain.” Kylo muttered innocently.

“That’s because of the tires.” Han swung his head around to look at his son.

“The alignment is off too, and the handling is shit don’t pretend it’s just the tires.” Kylo argued.

“Ben watch the language.” Leia sighed, her tone suggesting that she had already given up. 

“It’s the tires!” Han insisted. “I don’t have the right kind of tires since I drive on street and on tracks.”

“That’s got nothing to do with it and you know it.” Kylo lifted his chin, rolling peas around his plate boredly. “The Falcon can’t drive in the rain because you refuse to fix the problems with the steering and the alignment, not because you have bad tires. If it was just the tires you’d change them already.” 

“And what makes you so sure?” Han challenged. 

“The damn thing’s held together by duct tape and zip-ties, plus Uncle Chewie says the exact same thing; also, who used to help you with the repairs again? Oh yeah, me. And then you’d head out to the track and come back bitter because it rained and you lost.” 

The two locked eyes, Kylo’s expression baiting his father while Han’s eyes narrowed. 

After a moment, Han shook his head. “How am I supposed to trust you with the Falcon when I’m gone if you can't even take care of he damn thing?” He muttered.

“Like I’d want that piece of shit car in the first place.” Kylo growled back.

“Boys.” Leia fixed both of them with a firm stare before glancing at their guests. “We have company.”

“They can deal with it.” Kylo and Han spoke in unison; the action forcing both of them into worse moods while Leia simply shook her head. 

“They’re both stubborn.” She told the other teens who had been watching the display with some amusement. “And they don’t know when enough is enough.”

Hux looked at Kylo from where he sat beside him, smirking and jerking his head towards him. “I think this one might need a leash.”

Kylo turned his head just slightly to glare at him, his grip tightening on his fork as if threatening to stab Hux with it as Leia laughed. “You’re doing a decent job as his leash.” She told Hux. “He usually scares off people who try talking to him.”

“He’s all bark and no bite.” Hux said matter-of-factly.  _ Still wishing he’d  _ actually _ bite me thoug- why did you just think that right now?  _ Hux crossed his legs beneath the table.

“I will hurt you…” Kylo growled under his breath, and Hux swallowed hard. 

“Just being honest.” He replied quietly so no one else could hear; his voice was shaky, and he’d be stupid to think that Kylo didn’t notice.

Kylo paused, raising an eyebrow before leaning to the side closer to Hux as the others around them continued their own conversations. “You’re acting strange again.” He observed, his voice dropping.

“You’re reading into things again.” Hux replied firmly; it had been a mistake to agree to come over, now he was sitting at the dinner table beside Kylo unable to stop thinking things that were making it hard to focus. Without permission his mind brought up the stored images of Kylo stepping back into the bedroom the night before, shirtless and still wet from his shower. 

Hux tensed, his fingers tightening around the fork in his hands.

“You sure about that?” Kylo had moved his chair closer to Hux’s, the movement so small no one had noticed. “”You seem… off…”

Hux looked over at him. “You’re doing it again.” He said under his breath, somehow finding a way to steady his voice. “Fixating.”

Kylo pulled away as Hux stood. “Excuse me but I think I need to be leaving soon, I have homework that I need to be doing.” 

“Do you need a ride home, kid?” Han asked from across the table.

“No, I’m fine with walking but thank you.” Hux gave a small, polite smile before thanking Han and Leia for the meal - shooting Kylo a composed look that was far from honest - and walking out the front door with a calm he was far from feeling. 

When Hux had gone, Kylo returned his attention to his food.  _ Did I misread him…? _ He wondered slowly.  _ He seemed so flustered I thought… _ Kylo rolled his food around his plate again.  _ Maybe I really was wrong about how he feels about me… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whistles innocently*  
> Kylo's first song was this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVEP9GG-dk4  
> It's a piano version of "Kylo Ren Arrives's on Battle" which is his theme from the movie and it's rlly great.  
> The second one he played was obvs the Imperial March.


	12. Should I Move

Kylo glanced around at the racks of suits and tuxedos lining the walls of the small shop he had been brought to, scowling darkly at Poe Dameron as the beaming boy produced a white suit with a flourish. “Put. It. Back.” Kylo growled. “I’m not wearing it.”

“Why are you so difficult holy shit.” Poe rolled his eyes. “You know, I could have been spending my saturday with Finn instead of you.” 

“Then do it, I didn’t want to hang around you.” Kylo snapped grouchily, sitting down on a stool as Poe sighed.

“Leia asked me to help you with your prom shit you pouty, stubborn, dick so the faster you agree to something the faster we get out of here.”

Kylo glared. “Fine. But I’m not wearing that.” He stood and walked towards the display furthest away from Poe. “At least she didn’t make me go shopping with Hux…” He muttered. 

“Don’t lie.” Poe fired back, wandering to his side. “You probably wanted to hop on his the moment you met him; lemme guess, he was wearing a uniform and took none of your bullshit?” Poe nodded. “Sounds like your type, you like challenges.”

“He’s a prick and I can’t get a read on him.” Kylo growled. “Why would that be my type?”

“Do you want me to get Rey here to back me up on this?” Poe threatened. “Because she sees it too, we all do.”

Kylo scowled for a moment longer before letting out a low groan, his head falling forward to rest against the rack of suit jackets in front of him. “It’s bad and I barely know him.” His voice was muffled by the fabric. “We’re constantly fighting and every time I think I have the upper hand he turns the tables around on me and leaves me speechless; but even though we’re always arguing we’re always together too; I don’t know what he’s thinking either and that’s  _ never _ happened before.” He let out a low growl. “I always know what people are thinking. And I used to think I knew what was going on with him but I don’t - or at least I think I don’t - I’m second-guessing myself…. I mean obviously I am if I’m confiding in you.” He added sarcastically. 

“No one puts up with you if they don’t like you at least a little.” Poe told him easily, grinning good-naturedly. 

“He was forced to put up with me.” Kylo mumbled, forehead still pressed into the suit jacket.

“What?”

“That Woman in charge of the JROTC unit made him put up with me when I transferred me because she know’s who I am and thought I would be useful to the program. He’s chaperoning me until she says he doesn’t have to anymore.” 

Poe was quiet for a moment before speaking up again. “Well… He only has to spend time with you during school right?” He asked. “I doubt even prep school teachers can pull strings to organize anything else unless he’s trying for extra credit; not that that guy would need anything extra. So that means both nights he decided to be over at your house he was doing it because he wanted to, not because he had to.”

“Are you trying to cheer me up?” Kylo mumbled from the cloth.

“You’re a pain in the ass when you get upset like this, so yes.” Poe replied cheerfully. “So come on, keep talking; I’m gonna help you solve your Hux problem.”

“There  _ is _ no Hux problem.” Kylo protested moodily. 

“There is a very big Hux problem now talk while I pick out your clothes otherwise I’m getting Rey and Finn.”

Kylo glared at Poe, who simply smiled at him. “Don’t complain, this way you get help and fashion advice. Now start at the beginning, how’d you meet?”

Kylo relented, retreating back to his stool as Poe began moving around through the store. He took a breath and reluctantly vented everything that had happened since he had met Hux, relating the details of their encounters shamelessly; not caring what Poe thought of him in the slightest.

When he had done, Poe turned to look at him, blinking with a confused look on his face. “How can you second-guess yourself after all of that Ben, he’s into you.”

“Don’t call me that; and people give out mixed signals all the time. He also denied it when I brought it up and for the life of me I don’t remember if I believed him or not.”

“You’re little knack for seeing into people’s heads is helpful but you can’t use it for everything you idiot.” Poe shook his head. “Think for once and put yourself in his shoes; someone you like, who happens to be the most perceptive person you’ve ever met has just hinted at figuring you out without mentioning their feelings towards you.” He faced Kylo, hands-on-hips in true Leia Organa fashion - his idol would have been proud. “Hux thought you were baiting him, like you always do. Probably thought you were being manipulative and cruel because he doesn’t know that you care about him. He ran, Ben. And you were so shocked by it that you let it influence you and now you’re unsure of yourself.” Poe lifted his chin. “You’re so dense sometimes.”

“I said don’t call me that and don’t talk like you know anything.” Kylo snapped. “You don’t know him okay.”

“Ben-!”

“Look don’t you have other relationships to go interfere with?” Kylo asked suddenly, glaring. “Like, I don’t know, maybe parents to go steal or something?”

Poe flinched. “I didn’t-”

Kylo stood. “You’re nothing special you know!” He snarled, yelling. “But you still go around trying to tell people all these things, giving advice like they need it, offering friendship like we  _ want _ it!

“Okay but actually-”

“And enough with the constant flow of unnecessary sarcasm!” Kylo took a step forward, not caring that the two had drawn attention to themselves with the noise. “Can’t you take anything seriously?”

Poe’s eyes flashed, and he set his jaw. “I’ll take things seriously the second you stop your selfish pity party!” 

Kylo lunged towards him, tackling Poe and bringing both of them to the ground; raising a fist above the other’s head and preparing to smash down only for multiple hands to latch onto his shoulders and drag him up and off. 

He was being thrown out the shop’s front doors before he could register much else, Poe stumbling out beside him and a security guard standing with spread arms between the two as they glared at each other.

“You two can’t come back here.” The security guard said tensely, looking back and forth between them. “Do you understand?”

“He provoked me!” Kylo hissed accusingly.

“And who threw the first punch?” Retorted Poe.

“You either stop now or one or both of you are getting detained.”

“You’re a security guard.” Snapped Kylo.

“I have the authority to arrest you; you assaulted someone.”

“He’s fine!”

“What else is new.” Winked Poe.

Kylo rounded on him again, intending to attack only to feel the sudden pressure of a second guard’s hands on his wrists seconds before cold metal latched in place. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“We’re just going to take you down to the shopping center’s holding cell to cool off.” The man said. “Not long, nothing serious.” The guard looked at Poe. “And you, you’re the victim here, that’s the only reason you’re not going with him; that and we don’t want you two fighting in the cell.”

Kylo glared at Poe as he was walked away from the small shop, internally planning an incredibly brutal, bloody revenge for when he was him again; not stopping the train of thought even when he found himself sitting in a small cage-like cell in the shopping-center’s security office.

***

He was berating the security guards within the hour, completing his revenge plot and finding himself still in the cell - much to his irritation. 

By the end of the second hour the guards were about sick of his constant biting remarks and eerily accurate comments on their emotions or thoughts, deciding it in their best interest to leave the security office and only enter when absolutely necessary to avoid Kylo at all costs. 

Their decision didn’t sit well with their prisoner, who perched on a small bench with legs and arms crossed broodingly as he stared at the unmoving door of the office. 

The third hour brought Kylo ranting venomous obscenities at the off-duty guards he knew were sitting just outside the office, leering at them at the top of his lungs all while never moving from his seat - he wasn’t even at the height of one of his tantrums.  _ These guys don’t even know what’s coming.  _

“I’m guessing he’s in there then?” Hux’s voice from outside.

_ Shit fuck not this guy okay act cool act cool _

The door swung open, “Heard you fucked up again Cry-lo Ren.” Hux smirked, not bothering to hide his obvious amusement.

A pout rose on Kylo’s face, and Hux laughed; the sound filling Kylo’s stomach with butterflies. “How long have you been in here?” Hux asked him.

Kylo shrugged. “Just over three and a half hours if that clock’s right.” He said, nodding to an analog clock on the wall. “Why are you here?”

“Poe found me somehow.” Replied Hux. “Said you two had gotten into a fight and that you got yourself arrested by mall cops.” Hux couldn’t hold back the giggle that overtook the last pieces of his sentence. 

“It’s his fault.” Growled Kylo stubbornly. “Why’d you come get me, you could have just called Leia or something.”

Hux frowned. “What? Why would I do that?”

“Because you hate me.”

“True.” Hux agreed, smiling. “But this way I have blackmail material.” 

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “What’d Poe say to you?” He asked suspiciously. “You’re in too good of a mood.”

At that Hux frowned again. “What would there be to say?” He tilted his head to the side, the tiniest of gestures that seemed so out of place; Kylo realized for the first time that this was the first he had seen Hux on a weekend, in street clothes instead of a uniform and acting like a completely different person. 

_ A fucking adorable one holy shit… _ Kylo shut the thought down, shaking his head. “Nothing,” He replied.  “He just… talks to people for no reason and fucks with them. It’s nothing.”

“Why were you out with Poe anyway?” Hux asked, walking over to lean his hip on a table in the office. 

“Leia wanted his help with suit shopping.” Kylo admitted grudgingly. “And he would die before letting her down. But we ended up getting banned from the store.” 

“Idiot.” Hux sighed, though he sounded slightly pleased. “Did you have to fight him?”

“I thought you’d be happier, you don’t like him either.” 

Hux laughed again and Kylo had to turn his head to hide a small smile; he could get used to making Hux laugh… 

“Are you gonna get me out of here or not?” He asked after a moment.

Hux made a show of debating the question for a few seconds before glancing over at Kylo and seeing that he had begun pouting again. He smirked and pushed away from the table, producing a set of keys and unlocking the small cell. “They said you’re good to go, they want you gone anyway.”

“They shouldn’t have locked me up.” Kylo sniffed, stepping free of the cell. “They got what was coming to them.”

“If what was coming to them was a patented Kylo Ren tantrum then I suppose they did.” Hux teased snidely. 

“Call it whatever you want, Hux.” Kylo shrugged. “It gets results.” He turned towards Hux, finding the other much closer to him in the small space of the office than he had anticipated.

Hux chuckled weakly, his voice strained. “Gonna talk about ‘fixations’ again, Ren?” He joked, not moving.

Hux was close enough that Kylo could reach out and grab him. That he could pull him against his chest. That he could bend to kiss the lips that were suddenly the only thing his eyes could focus on. 

“Ren?” Hux’s voice had dropped to nearly a whisper

“Hmm?” Kylo made a small responsive noise in the back of his throat, not stepping away but not daring to move forward. 

Hux’s lips parted as he drew in a small breath, and Kylo caught every movement, every motion filling his head until he thought the need to kiss them would drive him insane. 

“You’re… close.” Hux nearly breathed the last word, and Kylo shivered.

_ I want to be closer… _ “Should I move?” Kylo asked instead, voice low; his breath catching as he waited for a response. He could feel Hux’s eyes on him, looking him over as his own eyes refused to look away from Hux's still-parted lips. Hux was watching him, but not saying a word as a thick silence rose up in the space between them and forced them apart.

Kylo stepped away, hiding the disappointment he knew would show plainly on his face if he didn’t force it away. He chuckled dryly, burying his emotions in his stomach and turning away from Hux; setting his eyes on the door of the office. “Guess I’m really not your fixation.” He controlled his tone, keeping himself sounding disinterested, convincing himself it didn’t matter. “Kinda stings to be wrong.”

Hux let him leave, heart pounding like a jackhammer in his chest.  _ I should have stopped him. _ He thought blankly.  _ Shouldn’t have let him step away. _ Hux closed his eyes.  _ I should have told him. _ For a moment he considered walking out after him - chasing after him like every dramatic love story.

_ And when he rejects you? _ The thought rang in his mind as he took his first step forward, and Hux froze.  _ You know him, he lies and manipulates and looks into people’s heads and gets them to self destruct. You can’t trust him. Even with all of these signs and signals they’re just his games…  _

Hus set his jaw, shaking his head aggressively to clear his mind before calmly walking towards the door.

Kylo wasn’t waiting on the other side, but he hadn’t expected him to be. Kylo Ren was just an inconvenience who had managed to worm his way into his head. Hux wouldn’t be able to get him out, wasn’t sure if he even  _ wanted _ to, but that didn’t mean he had to give in to him either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like you guys wanna kill me for repeatedly doing this to you.   
> Also the "Cry-lo ren" thing is from a shitpost gif edit from tumblr: http://doctaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.tumblr.com/post/141581490880/literally-how-this-scene-went


	13. Hello From The Other Side

The house was always crowded on Saturdays, Han out in the garage working with the man who might as well have been his brother - someone everyone had affectionately nicknamed Chewie - while Leia often worked with a gaggle of high school students on their drilling or routines. 

Kylo avoided being home Saturdays, one of the reasons he had agreed to going out shopping with Poe in the first place. But now he was stuck a few hours before he knew the crowd would have left his house and nowhere else to be. 

He knew before he arrived that he would wind up at the cemetery across town, wandering in between the headstones until he came to the one he knew without even having to look for. 

Kylo sat in front of a white marble headstone engraved with the name Anakin Skywalker, ripping up the grass moodily for a second before saying anything. “Figured I should come to you for advice about what to do when you have it bad an annoying know-it-all.” He muttered. “I heard about you and your mentor grandpa don’t even try to lie - I’ve seen pictures too, I don’t think anyone would have had to ability to  _ not _ have a crush on that guy when he was younger.” Kylo managed a small smile, still pulling at the grass. 

“Then again you never made a move on him so I guess you’re not the right person to come to are you… I probably just wanted to talk to you then.” He finally looked up at the headstone. “I started First Order; they renamed it since you were the Dean, used to be Sith Academy instead of First Order Prep but… The new dean wanted to change I guess…” Kylo let out a sigh and laid back. “Uncle Luke dipped out. No one’s seen him in awhile but I guess turning into a hermit is a thing for some of us. Your mentor did it, Uncle Luke’s mentor did it, now he did it… maybe I’ll take off too.

“Not that Han and Leia would care much right grandpa? I mean they carted me off to Luke once to do their own thing. And they still do their own thing. Didn’t really ask what I wanted…” He tilted his head back to look at the headstone. “What do you think? I know you weren’t exactly parent of the year but from what I’ve heard if you would have lived you could have been there for me, right?”

Kylo looked back at the sky. “It would’ve been nice to know you. You could have taught me to play at home so I didn’t have to leave… they wouldn’t have shipped me off. Things would’ve been different…” He trailed off, rolling his eyes and laughing under his breath. “That’s a pipe dream though, they’d still be them and I’d still be me. Only difference is I’d have you gramps.” 

He frowned suddenly. “Too deep a subject.” Kylo muttered under his breath. “Grandpa, help me out with this situation I’m having; this guy is really starting to mess with my head. It’s like he’s playing mind games with me… unless I’m just reading into everything… He’s kind of an asshole it’s a safe bet to say he’s never dealt with this before…” Kylo’s hands absently found the ground again, tearing at the grass. “He’s probably sending all these signals without even realizing it. Which means I should just back off….”

“There’s this thing that Poe said but Poe says a lot of things and I doubt he was trying to help in the first place so-” Kylo sat up, glancing back at the headstone. “I’ll just leave Hux alone then.” He told the grave marker. “That’s the best thing to do… Prom’s next week but… He can find someone else.” He stood and brushed his pants off. “Thanks grandpa.”

***

“What do you mean you’re not going?” Leia asked, watching her son unashamedly rifle through the fridge. 

“I mean I’m not going.” Replied Kylo with a shrug, pulling out the entire jug of milk and taking a long drink.

“You already told Hux-”

“I was only going because he had to and I wanted to mess with him.” Kylo cut her off. “He’ll be relieved not to have me there.”

“You agreed to do something with someone and you won’t back out of that agreement.” Leia insisted firmly. “Han say something to him.”

“Stop drinking straight from the container.” Han muttered from the living room.

Kylo blinked, lifting the milk to his mouth and taking another drink. “I’m not going.” He repeated when he had finished. 

“Listen to your mother.”

“Han you’re not helping.”

“Leave him.” Han waved away Leia’s protests. “He can’t go anyway he doesn’t have a tux.”

“I don’t need you sticking up for me old man.” Kylo snapped.

“Yeah? Well too bad kid because I did it now put the goddamn milk away.”

Kylo glared and finished the milk, popping the cap back onto the closed container and tossing it into the trash can. “We’re out of milk.” He announced. 

Han fixed him with a stern stare. “You know I tried helping you out.”

“I don’t remember asking for your help.” Kylo replied.

“You should find yourself a tux; you’re going.”

“Don’t feel like it.”

“Too bad. Maybe if you go you’ll finally fix that attitude of yours and have some fun.”

Kylo laughed bitterly. “Not likely.”

“You’re going Ben, you’re going to your prom and you’re going to dance and have fun and that’s the end of it. Got it,  _ son _ ?” Han narrowed his eyes as Kylo did the same.

“Okay fine! I will go to prom,  _ dad _ ! But I will not dance!” Kylo replied childishly, turning and beginning towards his room. 

“Ben no.”

“I will wear my dark peacoat and stand in a corner with Hux passing judgement on everyone.”

“Ben please.”

Kylo closed his door with a firm snap - not slamming it for fear of being called petty - but instead letting it close decisively; loud enough for his parents in the living room to hear but quiet enough that he still seemed composed. 

He made his way to his bed, intending to flop down onto it and stare up at the ceiling for the next few hours; only getting to stare for a few seconds before he heard - and felt - something beginning to buzz beneath him on his bed. 

Kylo grumbled his irritation under his breath and groped for his phone, not bothering to look at the caller before answering. 

“What?”

“You sound pissed.”

Kylo sat up without intending to. “Hux? How the hell did you get my number?” He felt his heart rise up into his throat. 

“Poe gave it to me earlier.” Hux replied matter-of-factly. 

Kylo inwardly added another torturous act to his revenge on Poe before responding. “Well then why the hell are you calling me?”  

“I don’t like texting.”

“You give short-ass responses, texting suits you better.” Kylo commented dryly, falling back on his bed with his phone to his ear. “What do you want?”

“You never got your suit.”

“I’m not wearing one.”

“I don’t trust you to dress yourself.”

“You know you sound like a serious date when you talk like that.” Kylo teased, only realizing after he said it that he was slipping back into his habit of unintentional flirting. He shook his head and forced himself to focus.  _ I need to back off. _

“I’m your chaperone, if you look bad I look bad.” Hux told him easily. “So what are you wearing?”

“Black.”

“You always wear black give me something more in detail.”

“It’ll be fine, Hux trust me for once.”

There was silence on the other end, and Kylo frowned. “Hux?”

“Y-yeah?”

“You went dead for a few seconds.”

“Probably because you seriously asked me to trust you.” Hux replied sarcastically.

“What do you not trust me?”

“Not in a million years.”

“Ouch.”  _ That stings…  _ “You’re a cruel one, Hux.” He sighed.

“You’re the cruel one…” 

“What?” Hux had muttered the response, but Kylo heard him; sitting up again with a frown. “What’s that supposed to me?” He managed to chuckle under his breath. 

“Nothing.” Hux cleared his throat. Laughing a little himself. “I was thinking out loud.”

“Must’ve been some though.” Kylo mused. “Y’know, the downside of talking over the phone like this is that it’s harder for me to get a read on you.”

“How do you know you’re able to do it in the first place?” Hux challenged.

At that, Kylo paused. “I don’t.” He said slowly, fixing his eyes on the ceiling before shutting them tightly. “Dammit!” 

“Ren?”

“I gotta go.” He replied sharply. 

“Ren-” Hux protested.

“I’ll see you monday, and don’t worry about what I’m wearing to prom it’ll be fine.”

“Kylo-!”

“Bye.”

Kylo ended the call, throwing his phone to the side and listening to it bounce off of his bed and to the floor.  _ No need to sound so concerned, Hux _ . He thought defeatedly, eyes still closed; he felt his heart sink.  _ I know I was wrong about everything… you’ll just make it harder for me, saying my name like that. _

“Fuck.” He gritted out, opening his eyes.  _ I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone this much… _

***

Hux flinched as the call ended abruptly in his ears, lowering the phone and staring at it blankly.  _ He sounded upset… _ He thought numbly.  _ I should go see him-  _ Hux stopped himself from scrambling for his shoes.  _ He doesn’t want my help and he doesn’t want me either. _

_ “You should go for it.”  _ Poe’s words from when the public school student had found him earlier that day suddenly popped into his head - reminding him of the lie he had told Kylo when he had asked if Poe had said anything. 

Poe had easily tracked him down to a weekend drilling practice of First Order’s makeshift drill team, telling him what had happened before offering some unexpected advice. 

_ “It’s just a hunch,” _ He had told Hux.  _ “but I think you have a good chance if you just give him a little faith.”  _

Hux shook his head to clear the memory, abandoning his shoes and instead turning up the stairs of his house towards the bathroom to shower.  _ Like I’d ever put any trust or faith in Kylo Ren. All he wants to do is hurt people.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://kitsunezakuro.tumblr.com/post/139860651519/62-watermelons-look-how-gross-they-are  
> ^^^ That's the comic I started writing this fic for and where i got the scene with Han and Kylo from!!!


	14. All of Me

The lights of First Order Prep’s old ballroom were dim, flashing and gaudy, blinking and changing in time to the beat of music thumping out from speakers lining the walls.

Kylo had wandered in and immediately played wallflower, sticking to his word and wearing a black peacoat and a pair of black pants; his hair done in it’s roguishly attractive style as he surveyed the students mingling out on the ballroom floor.

“What are you wearing?” He turned, suddenly grateful for the dimmed lights as his face heated to see Hux standing beside him in a pristine tux without a fold out of place.

“U- um.” Kylo looked away, shrugging carelessly. “A jacket and pants.” He replied simply, finding his voice.

Hux moved into the small corner to look at the dance floor, standing beside Kylo so the two of them were nearly hidden beneath the shadow of the decorations draped above them. “You never think, do you?” He sighed.

“I look fine.” Kylo told him.

“I suppose.”

Kylo warmed again at the response but shoved the reaction away. “You’re all dressed up for someone who didn’t want to be here.” He observed.

“I’m representing the program.” Hux adjusted his tie. “And even if I’m not going to leave this corner I may as well look decent.”

 _You look more than decent._ A popular song must’ve begun playing, as students suddenly swarmed the floor. Kylo curled his lip.

“ _Disgusting.”_ He and Hux spoke in unison, glancing at each other in surprise before dissolving into a fit of laughter

“You know Han told me to dance.” Kylo said suddenly, shaking his head.

“Do you even know how to dance?” Asked Hux.

“Barely.” Kylo replied. “Poe insisted on teaching me this stupid duet thing when I was at Republic, it was so weird and trippy but I can’t do anything else.”

“Do it.” Hux ordered.

“Fuck you.”

Hux laughed and leaned back against the wall, taking the opportunity to glance over at Kylo as the multicolored lights hit him. “You know they brought the piano in here.” He mentioned slowly.

“Wow Hux, so subtle.” Kylo leaned back resting against the wall - the corner space so small that their shoulders were nearly touching; Hux looked away. “I’m not playing.”

“Just saying…”

“Well stop saying.” Grouched Kylo, and Hux smiled.

“Why are you so difficult?”

“I’ve always been difficult.” Kylo sniffed. “I think you’ve just gone soft since we first met.”

 _You have no idea._ “What makes you say that?” Hux baited, eagerly awaiting Kylo’s teasing remark, relishing as they fell back into their usual teasing bickering only for Kylo to shake his head; breaking it off.

“Nevermind.”

“Don’t ‘nevermind’ me, Ren.” Hux snapped.

“What’s your problem?”

“Why would you think there’s a problem?”

“You’re pouting.” Kylo was looking at him, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “You never do that.”

Hux pushed away from the wall suddenly. “I’m getting something to drink.” He walked abruptly from the corner, making straight for where he knew the catering table was and pouring himself some punch; wondering vaguely if someone had already managed to spike it.

“Wassup general ginger?”

He turned away from the bowl, finding three definitely out of place students dressed to the nines standing behind him.

Rey grinned at him, hands on the hips of a sleeveless dress that exposed arms seemingly capable of lifting a tank. Poe and Finn stood to her right in neatly pressed suits, Finn pointing small things out to Poe who was looking around the ballroom with wide eyes.

“It is surprisingly easy to sneak into the Starkiller’s base.” Rey gloated good-naturedly.

“It’s not a base it’s a school.” Hux replied. “And I take it you three are crashing our Prom?”

“Republic’s Prom is tonight too so we’re Prom hopping.” Poe told him.

“So you’re crashing.” Confirmed Hux; he glanced at Finn. “How’s it feel to be back?” He asked.

“Weird.” Finn admitted. “This place was never really the right fit for me though.”

“Don’t let Tray see you.” Hus warned idly, taking another sip of his drink. “He wasn’t exactly happy with you leaving.”

“ _Traitor!_ ”

“Too late.” Hux t’sked as a furious student stalked up to the small group and faced Finn.

“What the hell are you doing back?” He demanded before rounding on Poe. “And who are you?”

Finn managed an awkward smile. “Hi Tray…”

“Don’t ‘Hi Tray’ me-!”

“You’re causing a scene.” Kylo had approached without any of their noticing, and Tray froze, suddenly faced with both Hux and Kylo looking down on him with looks of disinterested ice and fire.

“You should go.” Hux agreed as Kylo stepped to his side. “Have some fun but don’t bother others, it’s rude.”

“Not to mention annoying.” Kylo added.

Tray bobbed his head and quickly slipped away from the group, shooting Finn another pointed glare before disappearing into the crowd of dancing students.

“Where did you slither from?” Hux asked Kylo dryly.

“The corner where you me.” Kylo got himself something to drink, not flinching at Hux’s tone. “I was bored.”

“What? No pour souls to taunt when you’re acting the part of an antisocial child?”

“Spare me Hux, you’re the one who walked away after throwing a fit.” Kylo eyed the three prom crashers. “What are they doing here?”

“Ask them yourself.” Sighed Hux. “They’re right there.”

“I’d rather not.” Kylo admitted crisply. “Plus, you’re my chaperone, remember? You’re supposed to be taking care of me.”

“You’re a child Ren, you know that?”

“You make me very aware, Cadet Colonel.”

“U- um…” Rey tried.

“What?” The two snapped, looking to glare at her from where they leaned back side-by-side against the punch table.

“Are you two alright?” She asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.

“What makes you think we’re not?” Hux tilted his head, eyes narrowed challengingly.

“Well you’re fighting like an old married couple and it just seems like there’s a lot of tension here.” She gestured in their general area.

“The tension stems from this brat’s lack of respect.” Hux replied easily.

“You wound me yet again with you false assumptions.” Kylo said dramatically, taking an idle sip from his drink. “I respect you immensely _Cadet Colonel_. “

“I think you’re confusing respect with disregard.”

“You always have a clever response, don’t you?” Kylo sighed. “It’s admirable, honestly.”

“Admirable? The compliment warms my heart - to hear that my retorts are clever from the emperor of sarcasm and derision himself.”

Kylo scoffed under his breath but said nothing else, taking another drink with a slight scowl on his face while beside him Hux did the same.

Rey eyed them for a moment before exchanging looks with Finn and Poe beside her. “You two take hair products over there I got general ginger.” She said softly, receiving two agreeing nods before Hux and Kylo felt sudden tugs on their arms and they found themselves being pulled away from the table in opposite directions.  

“Alright ginger when are you making your move?” Rey asked plainly, looking at Hux with a kind of tangible excitement.

“Wha-t?” Hux managed to stutter out, pulling his arm free of her nearly iron grip and smoothing his tux indignantly. “What are you talking about.”

“On tall dark and emo over there, when are you making a move?” Rey clarified. “Seriously you two fight like that but you’re practically inseperable it’s so obviously it’s almost literally killing me; and when I say that I mean it okay I almost died trying to get Finn and Poe together I am not about to go through it all over again with you and Ben-Kylo… Kylo, Ben whatever he’s calling himself.”

She talked in a rush of excitement, and Hux nearly covered her mouth with his hand to shut her up. “I’m not ‘making a move’ on anyone.” He hissed insistently. “You’ve gotten the wrong idea and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop.”

“I can see right through you, Hux.” Rey replied firmly. “You’ve got it bad and you can’t hide it from me.”

Hux forced himself not to flinch away from her. “You’re worse than Kylo with these mind games.” He muttered.

She grinned. “It took me awhile to figure it out, don’t feel bad.” She shrugged. “And as for _him_ , all you have to make a move and you’ll at least get an answer - I know what that answer will be, everyone does but you apparently - the worst that can happen is that he tries to lie to you which he won’t since he’s obviously into you too.” She lifted her chin confidently. “But you can’t lie to him, Poe told me that he hates it when people lie to him about serious stuff so you just need to go for it.”

A scowl had appeared on Hux’s face to mask the knots currently forming in his stomach. He opened his mouth to reply just as the music in the ballroom cut off and turned to a sudden static.

The hired DJ came over the microphone apologizing profusely for the technical error and swearing that the music would be back on in a matter of minutes.

“Do it while there’s no music to drown out what you’re gonna say!” Rey turned Hux around and gave him a solid shove towards the crowd, causing him to stumble forward.

He staggered but didn’t fall, his feet finding a mind of their own and carrying him through the people as his eyes roved the students for a head of familiar inky hair.

A sudden light flashing down onto the piano settled on the stage beside the malfunctioning DJ booth caught Hux’s attention, and he turned; watching as Kylo’s lanky figure easily leapt up onto the stage and grasped a microphone before seating himself onto the piano bench. “Any requests?” He asked.

There was a ripple of murmurs from the crowd before one voice piped up. “Payphone!” A female student’s voice had Kylo hastily hiding a small smile before letting his hands begin moving across the keys.

A few people in the crowd whistled appreciatively when he began playing, people beginning to sway and clap as he continued easily and without hesitation.

After a moment, a few couples paired up and began slow dancing, others simply enjoying the gentle pace of the piano cover as the clap died down.

When the song had ended, Kylo glanced up at the DJ booth, finding that it still hadn’t been fixed before leaning forward towards the microphone. “Next?”

“Radioactive!” There were some cheers at that request, and Kylo chuckled outright before playing, his head nodding slightly as a smile appeared on his face.

By then nearly everyone had gathered around the stage, some students miraculously producing lighters and holding them up as the crowd swayed.

“Keep them coming.” Kylo said as the song drew closer to dying down; lifting his eyes when a small girl stepped onto the stage with a short list of songs scribbled onto it.

He grinned and glanced at it, diving right into the first on the list; “Counting Stars” first, and then “Hello From The Other Side” - not bothering to check and see if the DJ booth was up and running. The crowd cheered appreciatively when he seamlessly slid into a cover of “Stitches” immediately after, nearing the end of the song before he happened to look up and exchange a glance with the DJ.

Kylo nodded, finishing the song smoothly and lifting his hands off the keys. “I’m out.” He announced into the microphone, jerking his head towards the booth as his audience began clapping. “You should-” He broke off, seeming to spot something in the crowd. Kylo pouted for a moment before nodding. “One more.” He said lowly, eyes returning to the keys.

The students recognized the slow love song instantly, couples pairing up again as the crowd thinned and they began swaying to the piano rendition of “All of Me”

Hux found himself riveted to his place, watching Kylo play. _Who did he look at?_

Kylo finished the last song amidst a chorus of cheers and applause, standing from the bench and almost awkwardly shrugging off the attention as he stepped down; rubbing the back of his neck and looking away moodily when people offered compliments. He made his way back to the corner he had started the night in, leaning back and letting out a long sigh when the DJ booth started up and began blaring music throughout the ballroom again.

“You played.” Hux hesitantly moved to his side, feeling his heart to backflips in his chest.

“Y-yeah…” Kylo chuckled almost nervously.

“What was that last song for?” Asked Hux. “You were done and then just… that out of nowhere…”

Kylo looked around. “It’s loud in here.” He muttered, not answering.

“The DJ’s back, of course it is.” Hux glanced around. “But the crowd’s gotten bigger.” He agreed. “I’m going outside for a bit.” Hux moved away from the corner, hoping a bit of space from Kylo would calm his sudden bout of jittery nerves as he made his way out of the ballroom and into the school hallway that led outside.

He heard footsteps following and glanced back. “Ren?”

“The perfect trio’ll track me down if I stay in there.” Kylo told him, catching up. “And everyone else is getting annoying.”

Hux’s stomach twisted again, and he shoved his hands into his pockets to hide how much they were sweating; he had been so close to following Rey’s advice earlier, but suddenly Kylo was standing right beside him and he could barely think straight.

“Hux?” Kylo stopped before both of them could pass through the doors outside, looking back in confusion. “You’re quiet again.”

Hux didn’t respond, finding his feet unable to carry him forward through the doors and away from his current situation.

Kylo looked at him uneasily. “Hux…” He began slowly. “Is something wrong?”

Hux’s eyes hardened without warning, and he pushed himself forward, one hand reaching for the collar of Kylo’s jacket and tilting his head up to press their lips together firmly.

He heard Kylo suck in a sharp breath through his nose, and his hand went limp; the fabric of Kylo’s jacket slipping from fingers suddenly lax with shock. “I- um…”

“You kissed me.” Kylo cut him off, his voice dispassionate.

Hux took a step back, letting his hand fall to his side as he fought to calm a sudden rising panic. “Yes.” He replied simply.

“Why did you kiss me?” Kylo had clenched his jaw.

“Because I wanted to.” Hux’s calm was fake, but Kylo didn’t seem to notice.

“You _wanted_ to?” Kylo demanded incredulously, his voice rising. “After everything now you wanted to? If you wanted to do it why did you let me think you wanted nothing to do with me? _Why did you lie to me?_ ”

Hux opened his mouth, wanting to answer only to reply, “What?”

Kylo curled his fists. “There were signs and signals and I knew, I _knew_ that you had to feel something but even when I brought it up, even when something would happen you just denied it. Every time you let me think that I was a friend - or less than a friend. You let me think I was someone you were trying to find a way to make entertaining or useful until you didn’t have to deal with me anymore!”

Hux took a step forward. “Kylo-”

“Don’t fucking touch me, Hux.” Kylo snapped, his voice thick. “You’re just playing with me aren’t you?” He asked. “What’d I do? Did I hurt someone you were close to? Did I do something like this to them so you decided to make me actually care about you enough that you’d be able to hurt me just to get revenge?”

“Kylo…”

“Don’t answer that. It doesn’t matter, I don’t want to know anyway.” Kylo shook his head fiercely. “Just…” He broke off and turned quickly on his heels. “You don’t have to chaperone me anymore and you got your revenge so you can go ahead and be done with me.” Kylo muttered over his shoulder, Hux felt himself go cold watching as Kylo pushed his way through the door and disappeared outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ................. ((look up piano covers of those songs if you want they're really pretty))  
>  ((you guys are upset aren't you?))  
> *chuckles nervously*


	15. I Didn't Ask

Going to class after the events of prom may as well have been Hux’s own personal hell. Having to watch Kylo stride into their first period class - JROTC, where they had met - without giving him so much as a single glance… He hadn’t known that Kylo was capable of being so cold.

The first day he had thought would be the worst, the monday after. Standing in front of Phasma’s desk looking through papers the woman had asked him to look over when students began filing in. 

He had felt his heart leap in his chest, his mouth going dry as he waited… and waited, wondering if he would hear Kylo’s footsteps walking up behind him. Wondering how he would act. Would he pretend nothing had ever happen? Would he want to talk? Would he forgive him?

Hux had stiffened on impulse when he heard another person entering the room on that first day, unable to wonder how he knew it was him but knowing that he did.

And when Kylo’s feet had carried him into the room and passed Hux without sparing him a word….

Hux skipped first period that monday. Thinking that at least second period he wouldn't have to sit in a classroom knowing Kylo was there refusing to speak to him; thinking that at least the classes the two shared from third period on he would be busy with work and could distract himself with that.  _ Today will be the hardest… _ He had told himself.  _ Now at least I know what to expect.  _

He discovered the tuesday after prom that knowing what to expect didn’t lessen the blow. 

Kylo entered class with a bored expression Hux could see clearly from where he stood watching a few other students idly rehearsing their drills. He tried to make eye contact, tried to show  _ something _ , only for Kylo to look through him as if he wasn’t there as he moved to claim his seat. 

Hux skipped first period on tuesday too, making it a point to get to every class after late and refusing to look up; not letting himself look around to see where Kylo was.

He only realized that he couldn’t do the same on wednesday when he arrived to find that it was their scheduled monthly PT morning. 

Hux hoped the running would clear his head, help him ignore the three day’s worth of ‘where’s Kylo?’ comments he had gone through since the start of the week when other students began noticing the two had stopped stalking around the school sporting perma-scowls together. 

He ran long after the rest of the battalion had gone in for class, tuning out the sound of the bell signalling the beginning of second period.

Hux decided to skip the rest of the day, wondering what Kylo thought of his absences fleetingly as he made his way home. 

***

Kylo only ever went to first period after struggling to make it through an entire day of school monday, making it a point to show up in the mornings before slipping out quietly and wandering across town towards the cemetery.   

“I’m back again.” He announced, throwing his bag down onto the ground beside his grandfather’s tombstone before falling into a sitting position beside it. “I know, I shouldn’t be skipping but…” He trailed off with a breathy sigh and laid back to look up at the clouds. “He stuck around for first period today… but didn’t go in with the rest of us… I don’t think he’ll stick around for the rest of the day.” Kylo’s eyes followed the clouds slowly. “Wonder if he’s embarrassed or something…” He asked the grave stone. “He’s probably not into guys so he doesn’t want to be around the one he was forcing himself to act like he was into.” Kylo hated that his voice nearly cracked, and he closed his eyes, pressing his head back into the ground so hard he could feel grass giving way to cool dirt beneath his hair. 

“I haven’t even looked at him since saturday.” He said, eyes still closed. “I can’t grandpa, I think if I do I’ll remember how it felt to have him kiss me and then I’ll break and I can’t - I can’t let him have this much control over me… even now that I realized what he was doing this whole time I can’t stop thinking about it.” Kylo saw painful bursts of color behind his eyelids and finally opened his eyes. 

“Hey… grandpa…?” He murmured. “Is it crazy to think that someone could care about someone like me?” Kylo asked softly. “Because I want to believe that he meant it… or would that just make me weak; wanting something so impossible so badly?” He glanced over at the headstone and let out a low groan. “Grandpa I am talking to a slab of marble here trying to figure this out instead of wallowing in self-pity and you’re not helping.” Kylo huffed. “I just need to know what to do.”

He didn’t expect a response, and he didn’t get one. Instead Kylo laid there in silence listening to the sound of the wind picking up around him. Above he watched as the clouds steadily turned a painful purple, the color of a bruise as they hung lower and lower in the sky. “It’s gonna rain grandpa.” He observed quietly. “I heard that it didn’t rain much where you were from…” Kylo pushed himself up and grasped his bag. “Enjoy the weather.” He told the headstone, turning away and moving towards the entrance to the cemetery.  

Kylo almost wanted it to start pouring while he was walking home, half-expecting the clouds to open up and drench him from head to toe in freezing rain so he could focus on the cold of the water instead of the way his entire chest ached. 

Not a single drop fell even as he unlocked his front door and stepped inside; it was still early, barely past noon but he didn’t pay much attention to the time. Ignoring the kitchen entirely and turning straight for his bedroom.

“Ben what are you doing home?” Leia’s voice was an unexpected road bump, but he didn’t slow his pace. 

“I didn’t feel well.” He replied shorty.

“Why didn’t you call me to come get you instead of walking home then?” Leia followed him down the hall towards his room.

“Figured you were busy.”

“Not so busy that I would make you  _ walk home _ when you’re  _ sick _ and it’s about to  _ rain _ !” Replied Leia indignantly.

“Could’ve fooled me.” Kylo was at the threshold of his room, wanting this conversation to be over so he could collapse onto his bed and forget that the passed few weeks since he had switched schools had ever happened.

“ _ Ben. _ ” Leia’s tone forced him to stop, but he didn’t turn.

“What?” He gritted out.

“Don’t ‘what’ me, Ben I’m getting sick and tired with your disrespectful attitude and I’ve let it go until now but I’m not taking it anymore.”

“Disrespectful?” Kylo rounded on her. “I’m disrespectful for pointing out my workaholic “mother” and deadbeat “father”?”

“ _ Excuse me? _ ” Leia demanded. “Where did you even get that idea-?”

“I got that idea when I was in elementary school and you jumped on the opportunity to get rid of me the second I touched a goddamn piano!” Kylo yelled. 

“You wanted to go don’t you dare say we were getting rid of anything!” Leia nearly screamed back.

“ _ I was nine! _ ” Kylo gripped the sides of his doorway tightly in his fingers. “What the fuck did I know? All I saw was you always picking other people over me along with Han never being here and the next thing I know both of my parents are sending me away to live with the uncle I’d never met to learn to play an instrument that was ten times my size because I thought it was something that would make  _ you _ happy!” Leia flinched at that, and Kylo leaned forward. “All I wanted was someone to accept me in this goddamn house but even when I came back years later I still can’t get anything! You still pick your students over me every damn time and Han is still never here so what am I supposed to do? Play the piano until my fingers bleed hoping that it’ll make you  _ fucking love me _ ?”

Kylo shoved passed her, not hearing when she called out for him on his way back to the front door; slamming it shut behind him. 

The rain still hadn’t started falling, and he managed a muffled stream of curses under his breath - moving down the sidewalk without even thinking of where he should go. 

“Fuck it.” He snarled suddenly, reaching up and tugging off the tie of his school uniform and angrily wondering why he had bothered to change back into it after PT when he had known he wasn’t going to bother with class. “I’ll figure it out.”

***

Hux looked up from his place at his kitchen counter when the storm finally started around 7 P.M. that night. Glancing around as thunder rolled loudly above him before returning his attention to his laptop.

His upscale two-story house in the nicest part of town was empty aside for him - not that he minded; he was used to it with his dad always away on business and his mom busy with her own life as a remarried woman. 

Hux ignored the quickly worsening storm and continued tapping away at his laptop - working on missed schoolwork he had had a private within the battalion send him. 

It was only after another half hour had passed when he realized that the essay he was supposed to by typing had become an incoherent mess of repetition and inaccuracies worthy of no greater than a D minus.

He groaned and rested his elbows on the counter, face in his hands. “What the hell is wrong with me…?” Hux muttered under his breath. “It’s like I’m a heartbroken child all of a sudden.”  _ Pull yourself together. _

Hux pushed himself away from the counter and stood, closing his laptop and deciding to ignore his work for the rest of the foreseeable future - or until he could find the mental stability to focus on anything other than his quickly deteriorating relationships. 

He idled from the kitchen and into his living room, chancing to glance up at the front door and swearing he saw a figure through the distorted glass window in the door as lightning flashed. 

Hux stopped just as a hesitant knock sounded out over another clap of thunder, two slow taps disconnected from each other as if the person on the other side wasn’t sure what to do.

His feet pushed him to the door, and when he pulled it open his heart skipped a beat. 

“Ren?” 

Kylo’s eyes were fixed firmly to the side and at the ground; his uniform was drenched with rain and water dripped down into his face from his hair. “Um…” He closed his eyes. “I got caught in the rain…” His words were forced. 

Hux tried to find something to say, failing and instead stepping aside and leaving the door open for Kylo to pass through before finally regaining the use of his tongue. “Shit- yeah come in.”

Kylo hesitated a moment, and Hux’s chest tightened painfully; fighting the urge to grab the dripping person in the doorway and pull him inside and instead waiting for Kylo to move on his own.

Hux closed the door behind him, quickly turning away and padding towards the kitchen. “I’ll get you a towel.” He said.  _ He’s here. _

Kylo didn’t move from where he stood beside the front door, hands pushed firmly into wet pockets - internally blaming their shaking on the cold. 

“You can sit down.” Hux told him, stepping back into the living room with a towel in hand.

“I’m soaked.” Replied Kylo hollowly, still not looking up.

Hux expression twisted with regret, and he swallowed hard. “Just sit down somewhere, Ren.” He said, voice strained. 

Kylo didn’t say a word, choosing instead to cross into the living room and sit down on the coffee table; avoiding getting any water from his clothes onto the couches. 

Hux followed, holding out the towel only to hesitate and instead place it on the table beside Kylo when the other made no move to take it from his outstretched hand. “Why were you out in the rain?” He found himself asking suddenly, legs once again discovering a mind of their own and forcing him to sit on the couch across from Kylo.

“I’ve been out for awhile, the rain just happened to start while I was walking.” Kylo replied lowly, finally taking the towel and beginning to dry his hair. 

“The clouds have been promising rain all day why didn’t you go home before it started?” They were talking quieter than usual, the occasional roll of thunder enough to drown them out and make them think about raising their voices. 

“I did...” Kylo murmured. “But I left.”

Hux opened his mouth to reply only for Kylo to cut him off. “I don’t know why I came here I should go.”

“It’s pouring.” Hux told him quickly, quickly enough that Kylo glanced up for a moment before letting the towel over his head drape over to cover his face as he continued to dry his hair. “How long were you out walking?” Continued Hux. 

“Hours…” Kylo shrugged. “I left school after first period again.”

“Again?”

“I only stayed for one class yesterday.” Kylo told him.

“I- I was late to all my other classes yesterday… and I didn’t pay attention to anyone else… I didn’t notice.” 

“Right.”

_ Normally you’d give me shit about skipping and being late… _ Hux thought, noticing for the first time how Kylo’s hands shook just slightly as he toweled his hair, how his right knee bounced up and down on his toes.  _ What happened to you…?  _ “Ren” He began slowly. “Why didn’t you go back home?” 

There was a long pause before Kylo responded. “Leia…” He said. “We got into a fight and I left.”

“Ren-”

“It’s not important I should go.” Kylo cut him off.

“It’s still raining.”  _ You can’t leave yet.  _

“Hux…” Kylo tried.

“Wait until the rain stops.” Hux shook his head. “At least.”

Kylo was still, hands dropping from his hair and taking the towel with them as he hung his head. 

Hux could clearly see how hard he tried to keep his hands from shaking when Kylo clasped them together tightly. “I’ll um… I’ll let you have your space…” He said when Kylo didn’t reply.

He moved to stand, legs tensed to propel himself up just as Kylo pushed away from the table. 

Hux felt a cold, still-damp hand grasp the back of his neck, pulling him forward to meet the sudden kiss being pressed to his unexpecting lips. 

His own hands lifted and made as if to pull Kylo closer just as the other broke the kiss and sat back onto the coffee table with a curse; looking down at his hands as his leg started to shake again feverishly. “I’m sorry I didn’t-” Kylo broke off and shook his head, screwing shut his eyes before resting his face in his hands. “ _ Shit! _ ” 

Hux raised a hand to his lips, once again unable to speak. “Ren… ” He murmured.

Kylo didn’t hear him. “I know you didn’t want that I’m sorry I just- I had to do it again okay? And I know you don’t give a shit about me trust me I understand that so I’m not expecting anything out of this I just-” His voice cracked and he broke off, resorting cursing softly and steadily under his breath before stopping to murmur. “Like you’d ever actually want to ki-”

“Kylo can I kiss you?”

Kylo broke off with a short breath, looking up. “What?” His voice was small.

Hux was sitting at the edge of the couch, hands on his legs. “I didn’t ask you the first time.” 

“Why would you want-?”

“Please just answer me.” 

“Yes.”

Kylo didn’t meet him halfway, instead he seemed to sit where he was - frozen - as Hux leaned forward off of the couch, resting his palms on Kylo’s shaking knees to still them and claiming Kylo’s lips as his own.

The other’s hand found the back of his neck again, pulling him closer almost desperately; Kylo’s hand still shaking slightly even as his fingers threaded through Hux’s short ginger hair. 

Hux broke the kiss for a moment, keeping his face close to Kylo’s. “You’re shaking.” He said softly.

“You’re lying to me.” Kylo’s voice shook. “Please stop lying to me…”

“How stupid are you?” Hux asked him emotionally, pressing himself forward to kiss Kylo again. “I’m not lying to you.” He promised. “I’m not - I won’t. I lied before because I thought you were trying to play your mind games and I didn’t trust you okay, I didn’t even think that you could be sincere about any of this and I ended up - “ Hux broke off. “I ended up being the one playing games when I never even meant to be.”

Kylo met his eyes, and the look he gave him held only fire. “You’re an asshole.”

“I’m an asshole?” Hux frowned. “Excuse me but who tries to draw out a confession from someone without saying anything about themselves?”

“I gave you plenty of hints.” He was pouting, and Hux’s face lit up; he kissed Kylo again, smiling and speaking into it.

“I’m often misinterpret hints I apologize.” 

“The proud Cadet Colonel is apologizing, must be my lucky day.”

“Really, that’s why it’s your lucky day?”  _ Wait are we really bickering right now is this not going to stop? _ Hux smiled despite himself before setting his jaw. “Your phone’s off, isn’t it?” He asked.

“Yeah, why?” Kylo muttered.

“You said you’ve been gone for hours, Leia’s probably worried.” Hux reluctantly pulled away from him, sitting back on the couch. “Turn it on and tell her you’re safe before she spends all night driving around looking for you.”

“Hux-”

“Do it.” Hux stood. “Now.” He gave Kylo a pointed look before walking towards the kitchen and leaving Kylo alone in the living room. 

Kylo watched him until Hux was out of sight, an incredible bubble of warmth filling his chest and showing no signs of popping even as he grudgingly reached for his phone within still-wet pant’s pockets; suddenly grateful for the waterproof case. 

He waited a moment as it powered on, frowning irately as he was greeted by multiple missed calls and texts from Leia.

Kylo sighed and dialed her back, lifting the phone to his ear as another clap of thunder boomed out overhead. 

“Ben!” Leia answered on the second ring, and Kylo blinked in surprise.

“I’m at Hux’s don’t wait up.” He replied shortly, fingers already moving to end the call.

“Ben, it’s your dad!” 

Kylo froze, the bubble in his chest growing cold as he lifted his phone back to his ear. “What?”

There was a long pause, and in the background Kylo heard the sounds of people calling for each other hurriedly in sharp, commanding tones. “Just-” Leia came back onto the line, every syllable sounding as if she were holding back tears. “How soon can you get to the hospital?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *fire envelopes me*  
> Me: This is fine.


	16. Father

He heard the sound of the coffee table clattering over from the kitchen, making it back into the living room in time to see Kylo mid-stride as he bolted for the door.

“I have to go.” Kylo’s explanation was a rush of air as he reached for the doorknob.

“What’s going on?” Hux stepped forward, chest tightening when Kylo flung open the front door. “ _ Kylo what’s going on?! _ ” 

“I need to get the hospital.”

“What do you mean you-” Hux broke off, shaking his head. “You can’t walk there in this weather.”

“How the hell else am I supposed to get there then?” Demanded Kylo harshly.

Hux fixed him with a stern look before walking forward and lifting a ring of keys off a hook beside the front door. “Just because I never drive doesn’t mean I don’t know how.”

***

Hux didn’t think he had ever seen  _ that _ look on Kylo’s face before. A mixture of fear and panic and loathing that made him sit as still as a statue in the passenger seat as they drove to the hospital.

He wanted to reach out to him, take Kylo’s hand in his own and squeeze it to let him know that he was there for him.  _ It’s almost comical how much of a romantic I am… _

Kylo was leaping out the door the moment the car pulling into a parking space, leaving Hux to shut off the car and hastily follow the still somewhat damp Kylo into the emergency room. 

He barely paid attention to the orange-haired figure jogging to keep pace behind him, feeling the weight of something cold as ice settling in his chest, numbing his limbs and making his mind grow hollow when he passed through the automatic emergency room doors and found himself faced with an onslaught of blinding lights and indiscernible noise. 

Kylo heard voices, barking out rapt commands and steering patients through the crowds; he ignored them and pushed through until he stood beside the Nurse’s station, hands gripping the linoleum counter until his fingers ached. “I need to find someone.” 

An older nurse looked up at him, sweeping her eyes over his wet figure before pursing her lips. “Do you have the patient’s name?”

“Han Solo.”

Her posture changed, and she raised herself from her chair. “This way please your mother was waiting for you .” 

Behind the waiting room doors Kylo saw only a straight hallway leading off into the hospital - the nurse led him down the passage lit by fluorescent lights until she stopped before a door. “In here, please.” She said quietly. 

Kylo pushed his way through the door, finding himself in a small room furnished with two chairs and an empty hospital bed. 

Leia looked up as he came in, and Kylo froze, lurching forward unsteadily. “Why are we in here?” He asked thickly.

Leia stood from her chair, her face blotchy as if she had been crying. “The surgeon gave me this room.” She replied.

“Why?”

“Kylo-”

“ _ Why? _ ”

Leia eyes flickered to Hux standing in the doorway before closing them, folding her hands together. “He was on his way home from the track.” She let out a shuddering breath. “I should have waited to call him and tell him that you had left but I wasn’t thinking… I don’t know why he didn’t stop looking when the rain started, he was in that damn car-!” She broke off, tears filling her eyes again.

“Where is h-?”

“Ma’am?” A doctor appeared behind Hux, and Leia looked over her son’s shoulder towards him. “I’m very sorry to have to ask this of you now…” The woman hesitated. “Because the police were the ones to have found him and you didn’t see him before the surgery…. We'll need someone to come down to ID the body.” 

A curious ringing filled Kylo’s ears. The lights above him flickered and dimmed and something about where he was was so…  _ wrong _ .

He was sitting on the ground. When had he sat down? Back to the wall with his eyes staring blankly at the white wall in front of him as if it would tell him something else, something better, something that wasn’t the news that His father Han Solo had died because of him.

“Ren…?” 

Hux’s voice sounded so far away, as if the other boy was whispering from across an ocean… the same one Kylo felt he was drowning in.

“Kylo?”

“My dad’s dead.” 

That didn’t sound like his voice. It sounded ragged, and haggard and broken; like a child. 

“Kylo do you want to go with-”

“He’s dead.” His eyes finally looked away from the wall, hazily focusing on Hux as he stood in the doorway with a stupidly concerned expression on his face; Leia had vanished.  _ Why are you looking at me like that, Hux?  _ “He’s dead because of me.”

“Kylo no.” Hux was kneeling at his side before Kylo could register much of anything else, trying in vain to capture his attention only for Kylo to return his blank gaze to the wall.

“He shouldn’t have been driving that car out in the rain.”

“He knew that.” Hux argued fiercely. “How can you even think about blaming yourself-?”

“My phone was off and no one knew where I was. I left angry. Anyone who knows anything about me would worry about me not coming back after that.” Kylo’s voice was the same dispassionate murmur, never rising or lowering it's pitch, never moving from his place. 

“Kylo you can’t-”

“I killed my father.” 

Hux fell silent, mouth open but unable to say anything that could reassure someone who had just lost his dad. 

He closed his lips, his right arm reaching out and wrapping around Kylo’s shoulder to draw him into his chest.

“Why are you hugging me, Hux?” Kylo murmured into his shoulder, still not stirring. “I’m alive, and a murderer, and weak. Han would be so disappointed in me… if he could have gotten any more disappointed in me, if he had lived to get the chance to try.”

Hux pressed his head into Kylo’s drying hair to hide his tears as Kylo talked in that hushed monotone. 

“I never got the chance to make him proud of me, the last thing I did for him was cause his death.” Kylo shivered violently, his hands absently finding the hem of Hux’s pants and curling his fingers into a fist with the fabric in his palm. “I was a disappointment until the day he died, wasn’t I?”

“Kyl-”

“Leia will hate me more now too.” Kylo cut him off. “She’ll send me back to Luke like she did before.” His breath began coming in shallow gasps. “She’s gonna get rid of me again, I’ll never see her after this. She’ll never want to see me again because of what I did to her.” 

Hux wrapped both arms around him as Kylo began shaking violently. “I have to go now Hux. She’s going to make me go away and I’ll never see her or you again. I’ll never be able to go talk to my grandfather’s grave again, I’ll have to go to my uncle’s. I’ll play there. I’ll do everything he tells me. I’ll relearn my scales and I’ll follow every order. I’ll let him teach me everything he knows and I won’t complain. I can’t complain this time. I have to make her forgive me. She wanted me to play so she sent me there the first time. She wanted me to live up to her expectations and I failed her-!” Kylo’s voice cracked seconds before his breathless stream of shivering words dissolved into sobbing pressed to Hux’s shoulder.

Hux’s chest tightened, and he tensed his grip around Kylo’s shoulders, trying to hold back his own tears as Kylo shuddered against him; sobbing silently. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay but what did you expect its a fic about Kylo?


	17. The Blame Game

There was a funeral, eventually; when the dust of what had happened had been given time to settle and what little family the Organa-Solo’s had had been contacted to attend. 

Kylo knew there had to have been a funeral. Knew he had to have stood there looking at the casket throughout the funeral procession before the coffin was lowered into it’s hole in the ground never to be seen again. 

He knew people must’ve talked, must have said things about the famous road-racer of the town. He knew that he must have stood and listened to the fond memories people had to share of Han Solo before he was buried and left to rot. 

Kylo knew that it had to have happened; he just couldn’t remember a single second of any of it. 

Everything from the moment he had learned of his father's death onward had passed him by in a blur of color and indistinguishable sound. White noise. That was all he heard. Voices in the background whispering things he didn’t have the energy to feel indignant about. 

His room was his only sanctuary, shielded off from the outside world. Quiet, safe. The only thing he knew for certain was that somewhere along the line he had stumbled in, locked the door, and stayed there for he didn’t know how long.

***

The days without Kylo’s presence at school quickly turned to weeks, easing over the one month mark without anyone so much as seeing him. 

Hux had tried multiple times to see Kylo after Han’s accident; making it a point to be with him up until and during the funeral before Ren simply disappeared into his house and began refusing all contact. 

He called Kylo’s phone daily - the days where he hoped for something other than a voicemail were gone, replaced by a hope for so much as a ringing tone that showed that Kylo had begun charging his phone again instead of leaving it lying dead somewhere. His calls always went straight to voicemail, leaving Hux to weigh the decision of heading over to Kylo’s in person.

He had done it once or twice, only to be met with a sobbing Leia Organa being consoled by her estranged brother who had made it back too-late to catch the funeral. Hux had avoided them, going straight to Kylo’s room those times; knocking on the locked door and calling out for Kylo lowly. 

Kylo hadn’t responded, and each time he was there Hux severely wished he had the skills to pick a lock.

He changed his tactic to checking on Kylo three times a week, spending the remainder of his time worrying and wondering if he shouldn’t be over there anyway trying to break down the door.

Hux’s fear that he was doing something wrong was confirmed when that one month mark hit and Kylo still hadn’t left his room. He easily skipped class that day and made his way towards the school parking lot, having taken to driving himself to school just in case he received an unexpected call from Ren.

He was at Kylo’s house within ten minutes, letting himself in - as he had grown accustomed to doing - and letting his keys fall on the kitchen counter before moving down the hallway towards Kylo’s room. 

“Ren-!” Hux knocked swiftly on the door, fighting a sudden burst of panic in his chest. “Ren let me in.” He tried the doorknob vainly, not surprised when it didn’t yield to his grip. Hux leaned closer to the door. “Ren either let me in or I’m breaking down the door.” His voice was harsh. He hoped it wouldn’t come to that, knowing that Kylo would undoubtedly be rattled by something that violent in his condition but knowing such an action was necessary if it meant getting Ren at least eating again. 

There was a long silence, and Hux stepped away; shoulder angled towards the door and a silent apology to Leia Organa in his mind as he prepared to ram forward only for a soft click to stop him in his tracks. 

Hux reached out slowly, twisting the doorknob easily in his finger before allowing him entry.

Kylo Ren’s room was neat. The bed nicely made as if unused, and none of the usual mess strewn about the floor.

Kylo was sitting on the floor beside the door, back to the wall and his eyes staring blankly ahead of him at nothing. 

“Ren?” Hux crouched down beside him, reaching out hesitantly before setting his jaw and resting his hand on one of Kylo’s knees. “How long have you been sitting here?”

“I don’t need you mothering me, Hux.” Kylo replied slowly, his voice thick like syrup. “You can go.”

Hux flinched. Kylo sounded to calm, too composed and cold.  _ Too much like me. _ “Ren you should come out, get something to eat - when was the last time you ate?”

In response, Kylo’s stomach growled loudly; Ren looked away with a scowl of self-disgust. “I don’t need to eat.”

“Kylo…”

“Stop saying my name like that!” Kylo snapped. “Like you care! I killed someone, you should hate me like everyone else does just fucking go!”

“No.” Kylo’s head snapped up to see Hux looking at him with a definitively icey expression. “As if I’d just walk out on you when you’re like this; what do you take me for?” He snapped right back. “You didn’t kill anyone you incredible idiot, you got into an arguement with your mother, took time to cool off and your father made a subsequent mistake knowing the road conditions his car could handle and knowing full well the risks now tell me, how is that you murdering anyone?” Hux asked coldly.

“And your mother told me all about the fight you two had.” He added, eyes narrowed. “Both of us understand why you took off the way you did and she’s not blaming you so why the hell are you blaming yourself?”

“I-”

“You are an emotional idiot and if you don’t get up and go eat something I will drag you out there and feed you myself.”

Kylo shrunk away from the ice-cold intensity in Hux’s eyes before nodding slowly. “Fine.”

“Don’t ‘fine’ me, you’ve been locked in here a month.” Hux stood, extending a hand to Kylo to pull him up with him. 

Kylo didn’t respond; simply let himself be hauled to his unsteady feet, leaning heavily on Hux as the two made their way to the kitchen.

Hux stopped when they reached the kitchen, subconsciously pulling Kylo closer to his chest when his eyes landed on Leia’s figure silhouetted against the kitchen counter; her back towards them. 

Without warning Kylo detangled himself from Hux’s grasp and moved stiffly forward, clasping his hands together meekly and swallowing hard. His alabaster skin turning impossibly paler as he chanced to take a another step forward until he stood behind his mother. 

He wrapped his arms around her waist hesitantly, hunching his shoulders to accommodate his height as he pressed his face between his shoulderblades and held her tightly. “I’m sorry.” His voice came out muffled, choked by fabric and skin as his body tensed; expecting to be pushed away.

Leia shook in his grasp. A palm pressed to her lips as she tried in vain to hold back tears while her son hugged her for the first time in years.

“Mom, I’m sorry.” Kylo’s voice trembled, and he shivered pathetically. 

Leia turned sharply, and Kylo fell away; eyes widened fearfully with his hands raised in defense.   
“What the hell do you have to be sorry for?” She hissed, voice shaking. “Didn’t you listen to him?” Leia’s eyes flickered to Hux for only a moment before fixing on her son. “Everybody made mistakes that night, Ben. I did, you did and Han did but how dare you take all the blame for yourself.” Leia squared her shoulders. “Han wouldn’t want you sitting in your room blaming yourself and refusing to believe that he was the idiot who should have known better to stay out of the damn rain.

“Han kept looking that night because I blamed myself for you running off and I told him everything you said. And then he blamed himself for the pain you were going through; so do you see where placing blame gets people?” Her hands rested themselves firmly on her hips as she glared at Kylo fiercely. 

“What do you think happens to the people around you if you stay in that room?” Leia asked him. “So many things kept you from reaching out for so long and now you’re going to just shut yourself away on your own and let guilt eat away at you.”

Hux turned away from the pair as Kylo finally allowed himself to sag forward against his mother, draping himself over her limply and sobbing into her hair until his entire body shook.

He let himself out and sat on the front porch with his chin resting on his palms, closing his eyes and drawing in a long breath through his nose.  _ Ren’s out of his room now. _ He thought slowly.  _ And he’s listening to people. He can get better. _

“Hux?” 

He opened and lifted his eyes up to find Poe looking down at him from just before the porch. Poe stopped for a moment, unmoving before Hux silently moved over, making room on the concrete beside him and waiting for Poe to sit.

“Is he any better?” Poe asked softly.

“I got him out of his room.” Replied Hux methodically. “And Leia talked to him; He wasn’t replying to her when I left them but they were having a moment so I let them have it.”

Poe glanced at him with concern. “That’s cold.”

“What?”

“The way you said it, so precise.”

“I’m focused on making sure he recovers from this, any unnecessary emotion is irrelevant.” Hux fixed his eyes on a tree across the street swaying in the wind. 

“And what qualifies as ‘unnecessary’?” Poe demanded, folding his arms stubbornly. 

“Anything that distracts him from the healing he needs to do with his family.”

“You think you’re a distraction.” Poe didn’t phrase it as a question.

“I don’t think he needs me. He needs something stable and while I can give him some form of support I honestly doubt it will help in the long run. In the end it could be detrimental to his emotional stability and he doesn’t need that.” Hux still didn’t look away from the tree.

Poe frowned at him in obvious disagreement. “How can you even say that? Abandoning him is only gonna do the exact thing you’re trying not to d-”

“I never said I’d do that!” Hux cut him off aggressively. “I only said that right now he doesn’t need me. That’s why I won’t push the furthering of whatever mine and his relationship might be until he is healed. He doesn’t need another thing on his plate. I will continue to help and do what I can but I won’t be a burden to him emotionally or otherwise.”

Poe was silent for a moment. “What do you mean ‘whatever your relationship might be’?” He asked finally, lowering his voice back to a more conversational tone.

Hux shot him an icy look from the corner of his eye, but replied anyway; his voice crisp. “The night of prom I kissed him and sufficeth to say it didn’t end well. Knowing Kylo I should have seen it coming but I acted impulsively and because of it he began thinking that I had been leading him on and deceiving him the entire time we had known each other as part of some twisted manipulative scheme. 

“We didn’t talk for the next few days but then the night  _ it _ happened Kylo showed up at my house - he had been caught in the storm since, well he had run off after his and Leia’s fight. We somehow managed to work things out to the point where we’re speaking again and at the very least our feelings are on the table.”

“Dude we told you two forever ago that you should have told each other…” Poe muttered.

“Well now we have but It’s going to have to go on hold for the time being.” Hux retorted.

“Stop being stubborn.”

“I’m a stubborn person.”

“Kylo would feel better if he just had you and knew that you were there for him.”

“Well he knows that but I’m not going to weigh him down with needless trivialities of romantic relationships.”

“And what about if he wants you to?” Asked Poe cheerfully. “What if he wants you to be his cold-hearted evil ginger boyfriend? Are you just going to keep insisting that you know better?”

Hux shot him a proper glare at that; rooting Poe to his place before replying. “Kylo’s in no position to be making these decisions.”

“You’re an idiot.” Poe snapped suddenly, pushing himself to his feet. “I hope you know that.” He shook his head with a sigh and turned away from the house. “I’ll leave them alone, I just came to check on him and see if he had come out of his room.”

Hux didn’t reply, fixing his eyes to the tree across the street as Poe’s footsteps quickly faded away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick question for you guys since a certain fucker I know has been pestering me about this (u know who u r)  
> What would the votes be on having a Kylux sin chapter somewhere in this fic before it ends?  
> I usually don't write post the sin I write anywhere but if the votes are good there's a good chance I could work it in.


	18. Burden

He hadn’t realized how many real meals he had been skipping until he had eaten properly again, filling up on something warm and delicious and homemade - specially prepared by his mother - before thanking her with a small look and silently removing himself back to his room. 

Kylo hadn’t talked much since he had begun leaving his room for more than just his quick visits to the bathroom - he hadn’t counted the times he had been driven to reach for the small plates of sandwiches left outside his door in the middle of the night when his hunger had grown too painful for him to handle. When he did find himself speaking under his breath, however, his voice was rough, and scratchy, sounding odd to his ears.

He had been been been free of his room for a week, but he had still refused to go back to school; knowing dimly that Leia had contacted the Dean of First Order and worked out a plan to have him graduate on schedule so long as he did his work at home. 

_ I have Hux to thank for that. _ Kylo thought, easing slowly back onto his bed and staring up at the ceiling through the dark.  _ He’s always bringing me everything I missed… _ He groped for his phone and stared blankly at the screen as it lit up blindingly; feeling a pang to find no messages or missed calls.  _ I wonder if it would be okay to call him…? _ Kylo thought, his free hand absently finding it’s way to trail fingers over his lips.  _ I don’t want to bother him, I’m a burden enough already. _ The thought ended bitterly, and Kylo looked away from the screen as it went dark.  _ But everything that happened with him… I don’t know where to draw the line between us- _ Kylo broke off the thought abruptly, the memory of that night quickly becoming tinged with pain and sorrow.

After a moment, he ventured to let his thoughts wander again. Pushing away the tinge of embarrassment to find that mulling over thoughts of Hux was a welcome way to numb the pain of Han’s death. 

Kylo chanced to remember the night in the rain again. Remembering the way Hux had said  _ ‘Can I kiss you?’ _ and every moment after. His eyes slid closed and his embarrassment bled away as Kylo lifted his fingers to his lips again, reimagining to pressure of Hux’s lips pressed against his own; warm against his still cold and wet from being out in the rain. 

Kylo remembered reacting the way he had wanted to for weeks, reaching for the back of Hux’s head and sliding his fingers through soft red hair to loosen the gel that held the locks perfectly in place. Kylo had wanted to savor every moment, his hand shaking noticeably even as his fingers moved until Hux had pulled away to comment with some concern in a voice he had dropped to a low murmur. 

He screwed his eyes shut to close off the memory of what came next, of everything Kylo had said in a rush of air only for Hux to reply almost as if in pity.

_ It wasn’t pity. _ Kylo thought vehemently, snarling to himself.  _ He meant that so shut up. _

His mind taunted him cruelly, and without warning Kylo found himself doubting all reason.  _ Really? _ He asked himself.  _ Because where is he now? Not here. You’re a burden. And you showed up at his house unannounced after he gotten what he wanted with you; in the state you were in it would have been a waste not to have a little fun with you. _

_ Shut up.  _ Kylo curled himself up in his bed, knees to his chest with his eyes still tightly closed as he argued internally. 

_ You’re deluding yourself Kylo, admit it already. _

_ Shut up! _ He covered his ears. 

_ Listen for once, you’re getting out of hand. _

Kylo unfolded and reached for his phone; unlocking and finding a specific contact before typing out a message and hitting Send before he could think of much else; thinking petulantly.  _ Now piss off. _ As he looked down in defiance at the sent message on his phone that read  _ “Come Over” _

His phone buzzed almost immediately in response.

Hux: I’m on my way. 

The insistently nagging part of him scoffed, and Kylo let out a small noise of discomfort; holding his phone to his body tightly and curling back up into a tight little ball with his chin tucked to his chest.                              

_ Just leave me alone. _ He thought deliberately.  _ He’s coming over, you’re wrong. _

_ A good way to prove just how much of a burden you are. _ The little voice whispered. _ If there was any shred of truth in what he said about his feelings then it’ll be gone before long. _

_ Shut up! _ He squeezed his eyes even tighter shut until it became painful. 

_ Weak. _

_ I’m not. _

_ You’re broken. _

_ I’m not. _

_ How long until they all realize how fucked up you are and start abandoning you again? _

_ Go away!  _ Kylo clawed at his shoulders, his nails digging into his skin through the fabric.

_ Go away? _ It asked asked him mockingly; speaking in his own voice as he pushed himself closer to the edge.  _ I’m the only one who can tolerate you. And the only reason I can stand to do that is because we’re the same person idiot. _ He could almost hear himself rolling his eyes.  _ You’ve gotten so weak, when did you start letting emotions take control of you? _

_ Get out! _ He felt a sting on his shoulders, followed by a sticky warmth of blood drawn by his nails as he drew his knees closer to his chest. 

_ Weak. _

_ I’m not weak! _

_ Worthless. _

_ I’m not! _

_ Pathetic. _

_ Stop it! _

_ Just give up already and admit it. _

**_NO!_ **

_ You’re such a disappointment. _ The other voice told him coldly.  _ Stop trying to hide behind these emotions and accept the fact that nobody will ever love the person you really are; it’ll make everything easier knowing you don’t have to pretend. You’re a monster. Coldhearted. You destroy everything you touch don’t try to make yourself believe that you’re anything else. _

_ Please stop…  _

“Ren?” 

He tensed as someone sat on the bed beside his back, a hand hovering over the fingers Kylo still held pressed into the skin of his shoulders. 

“Kylo...?” Hux’s hands settled over his, slowly prying his fingers away from one shoulder before leaning over Kylo’s still-balled-up figure to loosen the grip of the other. “What happened?” He asked quietly - speaking slow as if he were afraid of scaring a frightened animal. 

Kylo saw painful starbursts behind his eyelids, but he didn’t open them; beginning to shake silently.  _ I’m a burden… _ He thought to himself before he could stop it. 

Hux looked down at Kylo for a moment, heart beating rapidly in his chest as his eyes traveled over the red of blood beneath Kylo’s fingernails before his limbs acted on their own. 

Before he could think he had reached out and gathered what would usually have been the much larger figure of Kylo Ren into his arms; clasping his hands together behind Kylo’s back and pressing the balled body to his chest as he hoisted Kylo into his lap somewhat awkwardly. 

Kylo’s inky hair was thrust unceremoniously into Hux’s face when Kylo remained in his fetal position - not lifting his chin up and instead choosing to press his face into Hux’s chest for a moment before very suddenly relaxing his arms to grasp two handfuls of the front of the other’s shirt. 

Hux let out a nearly indiscernible sigh of relief at the latching motion, giving Kylo a few seconds until he couldn’t deny the strain the larger boy was putting on his arms. He lifted Kylo off of his lap a few inches, adjusting his position and sliding himself onto the bed fully before easing his shoulders back down onto the pillows slowly - trying to allow Kylo to keep his tight grip until the both of them were lying side-by-side; Kylo with his face still doggedly buried into Hux’s shirt and refusing to look up.

The other held Kylo firmly, not saying a word but refusing to let go so long as both of Kylo’s hands still held onto his shirt as if it was his only lifeline. 

He didn’t know how long the two stayed like that, Hux listening to Kylo’s ragged breathing and trying trying not to hold on too tightly when Kylo began shaking and wetting the front of his shirt with silent tears. More than a few times the thought passed Hux’s mind to just silently hold Kylo until he cried himself out; already debating if he would have time to make it to the kitchen to get something to eat and drink for Kylo before he woke up again. Everything was silent in the room, and for a moment Hux thought Kylo had finally drifted off only for the other to shift and lift his head from his chest.

“What are you doing here?” Kylo’s forehead rested gently against Hux’s chin, and he spoke so softly Hux could barely hear him.

“You told me to come.” Replied Hux evenly.

“And you actually came?” Kylo sounded confused as he shifted, lifting his face to bring himself eye-to-eye with Hux; his own eyes were red, and dark. 

Hux pursed his lips, taking advantage of their closeness to scan Kylo’s blotchy face before replying with some irritation. “You say that like you thought I wouldn’t.”

“I didn’t.” The response Kylo gave was hollow. “I’m a burden, why would you?”

“You’re more of an idiot than a burden.” Hux replied though not without humor. “Where’d you even get that idea?”

“How could I not come to that conclusion?” Kylo asked him, eyes widening intently to command the small inch of space between them. “I’m a burden when I give in to my emotions and when I refuse them I become a monster; disgusting and hated. Both sides of me are people that others hate. One is weak and can only be taken advantage of, the other is pushed away the second I start showing my true colors.” Kylo’s hands tightened unconsciously on Hux’s shirt. “No part of me is wanted.”

“You’re doing it again-” Hux tried only for Kylo to cut him off.

“Doing what? Overthinking? You’re right. I am. I can’t stop and now I’m sitting here a pathetic mess; a  _ burden _ to you.”

“I never said you were a burden stop putting words into my mouth.” Hux snapped sharply, narrowing his eyes. “What’ll it take to convince you that nothing is wrong with you, Kylo?”

Kylo didn’t reply, simply screwed shut his eyes again and hunched his shoulders to make himself smaller in Hux’s arms.

“Kylo.” Hux murmured, sweeping his eyes over Kylo’s face again. “Look at me.”

The other didn’t look, and Hux leaned forward a fraction to lessen the space between them. “Open your eyes.”

Kylo’s eyes cracked open, looking out from just beneath the lashes as Hux wrapped his arms tighter about him. “You’re not a burden.” He promised, moving forward to let his lips hover over Kylo’s. “You’ll never be a burden to me.” He murmured before letting himself claim them; tasting salt on Kylo’s lips as he kissed him gently.

Kylo released his grip on Hux’s shirt, desperately snaking his arms around the back of Hux’s neck and pressing himself closer. “You’ll get tired of me, like everybody does.”

Hux made an insulted noise in the back of his throat before silencing Kylo with another kiss, muttering into it, “You’re an idiot, Ren.”

“I’m sorry.”

Hux felt something shatter inside him to hear the two small words leaving Kylo’s lips in such a small, broken voice. He sat up suddenly, Kylo letting go as if he had been burned and looking up at him with the wide eyes of a doe all the while curling in on himself.

“Why did you say that?” Hux asked, his words strange to his own ears.

“I- I’m sorry…” Kylo repeated, looking like a frightened animal.

“Kylo stop saying that.”

“I-”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Hux insisted, voice breaking. “You’re not a burden, you’re not a monster, people are  _ here _ for you I  _ promise _ so _don’t say that_. You didn’t do anything wrong.”  He received no response, and closed his eyes. “Kylo…” Hux lowered his voice, speaking gently. “Please tell me what you need.”

Kylo shook. “Don’t abandon me...“ He whispered. 

Hux laid back down, returning his arms to their positions wrapped around Kylo’s torso and holding him tightly. “I won’t.” He spoke into Kylo’s hair as the other pressed his face to Hux's chest again. “I promise you I won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought this might be the sin chapter yeah no.  
> I know better than to turn a mental break into sin give me some credit.


	19. I Think I Hate The Rain

In the days following Kylo’s breakdown Hux only went home once, making it a point to pack a suitcase full of necessities and taking up a temporary residence in the spare room of the Organa-Solo household. 

Leia didn’t seem to mind the houseguest, even seeming to perk up with someone to talk to around the house as she had begun spending more time at home to begin healing the relationship with her son. 

On the weekdays, Hux would dutifully go to school, texting Kylo beneath his desk to offer a constant stream of reassurement in case the other slipped back into his depression before school ended and he was free to drive over and see him; on good days he’d be out in the living room, sometimes sitting curled up on the couch watching TV, others mobile enough to fix himself something to eat from the kitchen. Hux would walk in and be greeted with the beginnings of Kylo’s reformed smirks or pouts and the two would bicker meaninglessly before one of them found themselves in the others arms - the holder looking at the other teasingly to see what he would do. 

On the worst days Hux would step through the door to silence, Leia wouldn’t be home until 5 - but she had at least set a healthier routine - and Kylo wouldn’t leave the house without telling anyone after everything that had happened, leaving Hux to pad quietly towards Kylo’s closed bedroom door and knock gently.

The door was never locked, but Hux wouldn't enter until he heard Kylo’s voice asking him to come in. The muffled sound urging Hux through the door and towards the bed, where he would crawl in and hold Kylo until he had cried himself to sleep.

Those days happened less often as time went on. Kylo moved more, spoke more, ate more - more than a few times Hux managed to coax out a fit of genuine laughter when they leaned against the kitchen counter arguing about nothing. 

As the second month after Han’s death passed it became normal for Hux to enter and discover the house in silence; walking to Kylo’s room the first few times with flutters of worry in his chest only for the door to be open and for him to find Kylo lying on his bed, headphones on and music blaring to waste away the time. Hux would stand in the doorway a moment, watching with some relief at Kylo’s small smile and closed eyes… at least before stooping to pick up a shoe lying on the floor and throwing it at him.

The act would spark one of Kylo’s pouts after he had rocketed up, tearing his headphones from his ears before fixing Hux with a glare; no doubt leading to another fight. Neither of them minded much, just another way to pass the time in each other’s company.

When Leia would come home Hux found himself helping with dinner - ignoring eye-rolls and smirks from Kylo as he made himself useful in the kitchen. More than once he had dragged Kylo into the kitchen with him, put a stirring spoon in his hand and set him to watch something on the stove before the other could so much as offer a vehement protest. Those nights Leia would look on with some amusement and continue cooking.

It wasn’t until graduation and summer stretched out only three months away that Leia stopped Hux as he made for the kitchen to begin helping her with dinner.

“How long have you been here?” She asked him, looking up at Hux sternly.

Hux froze. “U-um… a month or so…” He stammered.

“I haven’t gotten one call from your parents.” Leia folded her arms. “What are they doing, letting their son stay at a stranger's house this long and never even meeting them?”

He offered a small shrug. “Well… my mom parents are divorced… My mom’s somewhere in the caribbean I think with her wife and my dad is overseas; he has been for a few years.”

Leia blinked rapidly. “ _ Years? _ ” She demanded. “You’ve been living in that house of yours alone for years?” 

“Since the start of my freshman year.” Hux admitted. “Is that strange?”

“Did you have anyone checking up on you or anything?”

“My mom would stop by sometimes with her wife.” He replied. “And I’d travel with them on holidays.” 

Leia was silent for a moment before turning away from Hux and stalking determinedly towards the kitchen. She ignored Hux trailing anxiously behind her and began putting uncooked food back into the refrigerator; checking the time on the oven clock before nodding her head. “Alright. That car of yours, how much can it fit?” She asked suddenly.

“What?”

“It’s five right now and I want to get as much moved over here as we can before it gets too late. I have my truck and tomorrow I’ll call Chewie and ask to borrow his to help move the rest; Ben!” Leia raised her voice suddenly, calling a confused Kylo from his room.

“Yeah?”

“You’re coming too, grab your shoes.”

“What’s going on?”

“He’s moving in.”

“He’s  _ what _ ?”

“I’m  _ what? _ ” 

Leia pointed at him. “You are  _ not _ going back to that house for however long you plan on living there only to live there  _ alone _ . Do you understand me?”

“I- really this isn’t-”

“Don’t try to convince me not to do this. Because if you do I’ll just call a moving company and have them move all of your things out tomorrow; would you like me to make a show of this or would you rather it get done quietly now?”

Hux was silent, and Leia nodded before snatching a set of car keys off of a hook and making for the door.

Kylo sighed and shook his head. “Don’t argue.” He said, trying to hold back laughter. “She’s not changing her mind.”

Hux grasped his own set of keys and began waking for the door, slipping on his shoes before stepping outside. “I know… I just didn’t expect that reaction.”

“What  _ did _ you expect?” Kylo padded after him and towards Hux’s car. “Even I would have suggested it if I had known you were living up there alone.”

Hux shot him an icy look as he unlocked the doors, and Kylo smirked. “What? The proud Hux doesn’t like being doted on for a change?” He baited.

“Shut up.” Hux slid into the car.

“Your wish is my command, from here on out you will be pampered like an emperor.” 

“Shut  _ up _ , Ren.” 

***

Hux didn’t insist on much being moved out, a request Leia quickly overrode as she claimed that the guest bedroom would now belong to him. 

The woman had found boxes and packing tape in her own garage before driving over, making quick work of packing up Hux’s things and setting them in her truck before setting the dressers and bedside tables in the bed of the truck - leaving only Hux’s actual bed in his room by the time they were done sandwiching things into both cars. Furniture in the truck, clothes and decorations in the car. 

“We’ll come back tomorrow for the bed and anything else you want to take with you from around the house.” Leia told him. “Do you have anything in mind?”

“I’ll look around.” Hux had given up on arguing against the move hours ago. “Anything I want I’ll take up to my old room upstairs so I won’t have to go looking for it tomorrow.” 

“Good idea.” Leia beamed at him and pushed herself up into her truck. “You two don’t stay here two late.” She added.

“We’ll be back in like an hour calm down.” Kylo told her.

Kylo and Hux walked back towards the house as Leia drove away, Kylo stealing the last slice of pizza from dinner while Hux’s back was turned and earning him an empty box to the face before Hux began wandering around the house looking for anything worth taking with him.

“Anything interesting?” Kylo asked from the other side of the living room. “Pictures maybe?”

“No.” Hux shrugged. “Everything’s mostly my dad’s old medals or stuff my mom brought back from the places she’s traveled to. I don’t think there are any family pictures.”

“Anything you can sell?”

“Fuck off.” Hux laughed despite himself as Kylo flopped down onto a couch and flipped on the TV. It was on mute.

“Okay why?” Kylo asked, tilting his head back against the couch’s back to look at Hux. “Why is it muted?”

“I don’t usually watch TV down here. I usually just keep it on as a light so I can see where I’m going in the middle of the night without having to turn anything on.” Hux avoided further questions and walked towards the kitchen, spotting a few textbooks he had thought he had lost and gathering them together on the counter. “Unless it’s school related I don’t think I’m bringing anything else.” He called into the living room. 

“You sure?” Kylo’s voice floated through, followed by the sound of him getting up and walking to the kitchen.

“Yes, I’m sure, Ren.” Hux replied dryly. 

“Ice cold as ever.” Kylo sighed with mock sadness. “You could freeze volcanoes with that tone Hux really, spare me from your malice.”

Hux rolled his eyes. “You’re a child.”

“How many times are you going to tell me that? It’s getting old.” Kylo leaned back against the counter boredly, admiring a painting on the wall. 

“I’ll say it until it stops being true.”

“Then you’ll be saying it forever.”

“Not unless I kill you before forever gets a chance.”

“Rude.” Kylo pouted as Hux moved about the kitchen. “You’ll kill me sooner saying things like that.”

“You’re such a drama queen.”

“King, Hux, king.” Kylo corrected, glancing over at him. “You’ll be the queen.”

Hux stood in front of him, hands on either side of Kylo and pressed his palms to the countertop firmly as he looked up at him. “Fine by me, Ren.” He replied. “If this is chess the Queen has much more power than the King anyway.”

Kylo’s hand moved to the small of the other’s back just as Hux pushed himself up for a kiss. The hand pulling Hux's hips against his own roughly as the kiss deepened into something hungrier. 

He felt hands moving up to tangle in his hair, and Kylo grinned into Hux’s lips. “You’re-”

A thunderclap cut him off, and Kylo flinched. His head pulling away from Hux while the hand resting on his back clenched to grasp a handful of his shirt. 

“Kylo?” Hux’s voice was even. “Are you okay?” His hands dropped from Kylo’s hair and instead rested on his hips reassuringly. 

“I’m-”

Rain and thunder began falling before he could finish his response, and Kylo cursed. Squeezing his eyes shut and burying his head into Hux’s shoulder.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and reached for it with his free hand; lifting his head and answering the call. “Hey mom.” He made sure to put the phone on speaker.

“Are you two driving?” Leia’s voice was tinged with the same kind of barely suppressed panic written over Kylo’s face. 

“No.” Kylo managed to rasp out.

“Well don’t.” She told both of them firmly. “Not until the storm lets up.”

“We’ll probably wait it out until morning then.” Hux offered. “If you want us to be safe.”

“I don’t want you driving out in the rain or too late… alright, tomorrow morning.” Leia hesitated. “Please don’t try to drive tonight.”

“It’ll be fine, we won’t.” Hux assured her. 

Kylo mumbled the same before hanging up. Carelessly dropping his phone behind him on the counter and leaning forward to place his head on Hux’s shoulder as thunder rumbled again. “Why does it always rain when I’m over here?” He murmured, hand balling the fabric of Hux’s shirt. 

“I don’t think this house likes you.” Hux joked gently, pressing his lips to one of Kylo’s ears through his hair. 

“Nothing likes-”

“ _ Don’t _ .” Hux cut off the self-deprecating sentence coldly, growling into Kylo’s hair. “Don’t you dare.”

Kylo was silent for a moment before sighing. “Yeah I know; you’re right.”   

“Who’s right?” Hux teased. “Are you sure you’re willing to admit that Ren?”

“Shut up.”

Hux laughed and pressed himself closer to Kylo, his fingers hooking in the belt loops at his partner's hips while Kylo’s free hand joined the other at the small of Hux’s back. 

“You know…” Kylo spoke into Hux’s shoulder as the storm picked up. “I think I hate the rain now.”

“Hates a strong word.”

“I know when I hate something.” He adjusted so his head was rested in the crook of Hux’s neck, standing there silently for a moment before speaking. “Hey Hux?” He lifted his head.

“What?” Hux pulled away to look at him, frowning slightly. 

“Kiss me again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so the next chapter may... or... may not... be sin o_O I haven't decided yet so just a warning if that's not your thing to sorta tread lightly in the next update (especially if the rating goes up)


	20. Good?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE YOU READ THIS:  
> Okay look.... this is the sin chapter. Yeah... I know... I'm sorry it came to this but it happened. If you're cool with this then go right on ahead and read my horrible... horrible mistake.  
> If this isn't your thing tho: You can go ahead and skip this chapter altogether. The next update ties in immediately after the sin and you can read *that* without reading the *Actual Sin* I'll make sure it all makes sense even if you don't read this update that way you don't miss anything.  
> Also- Yeah there's only two more updates after this so uh... yeah...  
> Anyway... the long put-off sin chapter... some deity forgive me for this...

It started with a roll of Kylo’s hips, a tiny movement that had Hux inhaling sharply through his nose as their bodies - already pressed flush together - became impossibly closer. 

He gasped as it happened again, breaking away from Kylo’s mouth and tilting his head back; an unintentional invitation for Kylo to dive towards his throat - his lips and tongue searching to find and tease every sensitive patch of exposed skin as Hux’s fingers knotted helplessly in his inky hair. 

Kylo pressed his hips forward harder, pairing the movement with a well-timed suck and drawing out a sinful little moan that had Hux’s face flushing crimson as his eyes fluttered shut.

Hux felt teeth nipping at the skin of his throat, traveling up towards his jaw until Kylo was suddenly kissing and biting at his earlobe; catching it between his teeth and tugging before leaning back against the counter. His hands still rested on the small of Hux’s back, holding the two of them pressed against each other as he looked down at him with darkened eyes.

Hux’s fingers threaded through Kylo’s hair again, his own eyes narrowed. “Why’d you stop?” He asked, his voice a husky challenge. 

“I’m not entirely sure it’s worth continuing.” Kylo smirked.

“Is that right?” Hux was the one to move this time, dropping a hand to Kylo’s waist to hold him in place as he rolled his hips forward in a slow, lazy, drawn-out motion. He watched as Kylo’s breath hitched, eyes roving over him hungrily when the other’s hands tightened their grip and gathered the fabric of Hux’s shirt into his palms. “You sure you don’t want to change your mind?” 

Hux took the opportunity to slide the hand still occupied with Kylo’s hair down until it rested on Kylo’s thigh, allowing his fingers to stroke the material between him and the other’s skin absently. 

Kylo drew in a shuddering breath, biting down on his lip in attempt to stifle a groan. “I-” The efforts were wasted when Hux pushed against him again; the noise slipping from his lips embarrassingly loud when his static-filled mind registered the firm feeling of Hux pressing against him, already hard. 

“You what?” Hux murmured lowly, a smirk on his lips. “I can’t hear you.” Another slow roll had one of Kylo’s hands abandoning Hux’s back to hastily clap over his mouth in a desperate attempt to stop the whine that spilled out over his lips. 

At that Hux’s smirk widened. “That sounds a little better.” He said crisply. “Your shirt, Ren.”

Hux watched as Kylo quickly freed himself from the article as if it were burning him, not bothering to stifle the little gasp that escaped him when Hux’s lips began exploring the planes of his chest. His hand found Hux’s hair as the ginger gradually moved lower, biting his lip when an irritatingly nimble tongue would tease and skip over the places begging for the most attention before Hux finally dropped to his knees.

Kylo tugged him up again before Hux could begin working on his belt, reversing their positions so Hux’s back was to the counter. He tugged the other’s shirt up over his head and fell comfortably to the kitchen’s tile floor, fingers ghosting over Hux’s pale stomach; Kylo leaned forward so his mouth was nearly touching Hux’s still-clothed erection, smirking up when he heard an impatient growl from above him.

He had unbuckled Hux’s belt and pulled his pants down around his ankles before the other could react, his hand teasing at the waistband of Hux’s boxer mischievously. 

“Dammit Ren stop that already!” Hux’s voice was strained, and he squirmed, a hand finding Kylo’s hair again. 

“If you say so.” 

The sudden air hitting his cock was an unexpected surprise, a feeling quickly overridden when Hux finally,  _ finally _ felt Kylo’s hands wrap around his length and squeeze. 

“Fuck!” Hux hadn’t realized he had made the strangled sound until he heard Kylo chuckle below him; preparing to retort just as Kylo took him into his mouth.

Hux found his train of thought completely derailed as Kylo took as much of his length as he could and sucked hard, releasing Hux’s cock with a lewd pop and twisting his hands around the shaft; swiping his thumbs across the head for good measure while he looked up and admired the view of Hux reduced to a shaking, muttering mess.

Kylo snickered, licking a slow stripe up from the base to the tip and pausing to swirl his tongue around the top; closing his eyes to relish the sounds Hux was making.

Hux tightened his grip in Kylo’s hair, forcing himself not to buck his hips forward into the others mouth as Kylo took him in again and began sucking at a fast pace with hollowed-out cheeks. He wasn’t sure how loud he was being any more, only knowing that curses and moans were falling from his mouth with every flick of Kylo’s tongue and twist of his narrow wrists.

His head fell back and he groaned loudly, managing to string together a coherent sentence between his moans, “How are you so- ah-! good at this?”

Kylo pulled away and looked up at him, hands still moving slowly and a mischievous smirk on his face as he shrugged. “I’ve had… practice.” He admitted.

Hux’s head snapped up, and his eyes hardened. “Is that right?”

“Is that a problem?” Kylo baited.

“Do you want it to be?”

Kylo leaned forward again, licking the head of Hux’s cock as if it were candy. “Maybe.”

Hux tightened his grip, pulling Kylo up by his hair and drawing a groan from the other’s lips. “Here, or the room?” His voice was low.

“Here.” Kylo cracked a smile. “At least first.” Hux had rotated them so he was facing the counter before he could say much else, his back pressed to Hux’s chest and his hands splayed out in front of him as he gasped out in surprise before straightening. “You know-” He began, breaking off when Hux’s hand moved around to grasp the front of his pants.

“In that drawer.” Hux answered the question Kylo hadn’t even had the chance to finish, his hand making short work of Kylo’s pants and leaving them to fall to the floor. 

Kylo let out a breathy laugh as he rifled through the drawer in question until he removed a bottle of lube. “Why is this even in here?” He asked teasingly.

“What? You think I haven’t had any practice?” Hux fired back, taking the bottle and giving Kylo’s now bare length a few slow strokes. He leaned forward to rest his chin on Kylo’s shoulder, pressing his lips to the other’s throat. “Do you want to start yourself or should I?” Hux gave Kylo’s cock a small squeeze, running his thumb across the tip as he asked.

Kylo shivered at that, hunching forward against the counter but not answering; Hux did it again. “Well, Ren?” He leaned and bit Kylo’s shoulder, startling a low moan from his throat.

“I don’t wanna wait.” Kylo whined and pushed himself back against Hux. 

Hux swallowed hard, closing his eyes and drawing in a few deep breaths to keep himself under control. Trying to ignore Kylo pressing back against his bare hips and whining in a tone that made his cock twitch with every syllable. 

“I think you know that I can’t do that.” His right hand moved from Kylo’s front and he uncapped the bottle with the other, thoroughly coating his fingers with the slippery fluid before setting the bottle back onto the counter. “You’re going to have to wait.” Hux let his fingers travel slowly down to Kylo’s entrance, pressing his lips to the smooth skin along the other’s spine when Kylo let out low, groaning whines under his breath.

“Hux-” Kylo broke off, trying to push back into Hux’s fingers only for the hand to be pulled away whenever he got close.

“Yes?” He could almost hear the smirk that painted Hux’s lips. “Is something wrong, Ren?” Hux’s voice was low, and Kylo shivered.

Kylo let out a sudden growl as the hand evaded him again, his own fingers curling over the edge of the counter. He gritted his teeth. “Either you fuck me or I’ll do it myself.” He snapped dangerously, the tone Hux only heard him use when he was intimidating someone he’d rather murder than talk to; the sound of it aimed at him had Hux’s restraints snapping, and without a word he stopped his teasing and allowed a single digit to enter the person bent over the counter in front of him. 

He savored the sounds of pleasure the intrusion drew from the other’s mouth and ventured to add another finger, stretching Kylo open slowly until Ren was panting and pushing back against him - practically begging for more. 

Hux obliged, kissing Kylo’s spine again when he heard another needy moan. He curled his fingers as they moved, and Kylo shuddered; crying out loudly and letting out a whine. “ _ Hux… _ ” 

“There?” He asked, allowing the curled fingers to brush against that place inside of Kylo that made him whimper and moan.

Kylo bit his lip, all he could do to nod his head before the need to cry out overtook him again. 

“More?”

“ _ Please. _ ” Any other time Kylo would have never let the word leave his mouth, but Hux nearly grinned at the sound and withdrew his fingers; taking the bottle back into his free hand and slicking himself up before pressing the head of his length against Kylo’s entrance. 

Hux had intended to go slow. To push in gently to give Kylo time to adjust before he began to move. He wasn’t given the chance. 

Kylo had braced his hands on the corner of the kitchen counter and forced himself back until he was flush against Hux’s hips; the other becoming fully sheathed inside of him with a sudden push and two sharp gasps. He felt Hux’s hands scramble for purchase on his hips and rested his head on the counter, biting his lips and breathing out through his nose when the pain quickly bled away to the feeling of lips pressing kisses along his spine again with feverish insistence. 

“You’re too impatient.” Hux’s voice was a barely contained growl between his shoulderblades.

“And you’re too paranoid.” Kylo wiggled his hips teasingly, enough for Hux to hiss and buck his hips forward reflexively. “Hux…” Kylo whined, a smirk on his lips. “ _ Please? _ ” 

Hux gripped Kylo’s hips, his breathing already more uneven than he’d like to admit at the feeling of Kylo moving impatiently around him. He bit his lip, shaking his head and hesitating a moment.

“Hux I swear to God-!” He snapped his hips forward suddenly, drawing out a startled curse from Kylo’s mouth and smirking when the other’s hands fumbled to keep hold of the counter.

“Were you saying something?” He asked innocently.

“Dick…”

“Yes what about it?” He didn’t give Kylo much time to respond before he was pulling out and thrusting back in, setting a slow pace he knew Kylo wouldn’t appreciate but making it a point to drink up as many as those irritated little sounds Ren would make every time he drew out and pushed teasingly back in. 

“Ren?” Hux leaned forward, hands still on Kylo’s hips and his lips hovering over the skin of Kylo’s back.

“ _ What? _ ” The reply he received was half a growl and half a frustrated moan. 

One of Hux’s hands began running up and down Kylo’s spin gently as he moved. “What do you need?” 

“ _ Fuck… _ ” Kylo groaned under his breath; shivering. His hands gripping the counter tighter than they already had, and his back arched into Hux’s hand.

Hux hadn't stopped moving, his pace slow and methodic and always  _ just _ missing the place he knew would make Kylo writhe and shake around him. He almost wanted to abandon his plan; the images he had been pushing aside for months of fucking Kylo in just about every way imaginable suddenly deciding to surface now that he was actually in the position to do it. Each thought tempting him to forget the plan, snap his hips forward and make Ren  _ scream _ . 

Kylo pushed away from the counter, pressing his back to Hux’s chest for only a moment before Hux suddenly found himself being pulled forward as Kylo turned and lifted himself up onto the counter. Kylo attacked his lips, sitting perched on the very edge of the counter so he would have fallen without Hux standing there.

Hux only wondered about the loss of Kylo around his still-hard length for a moment before Ren was wrapping his legs around his waist and tugging him forward until Hux got the hint and pushed himself in again. 

Kylo leaned back, propping himself up on one elbow and letting his head fall back as Hux resumed his slow pace; a hand threading through the short ginger hair and pulling until Hux gasped. 

“I need…” Kylo began, breathing hard and pulling Hux’s head up so their eyes met. “You.” Kylo was pushing himself up to pressing his mouth close to Hux’s ear. “ _ Now. _ ” His arms moved to twine around Hux’s neck; unable to lock his fingers together before Hux had placed his own hands on his shoulders and pushed him back against the countertop.

Hux reached and grasped Kylo’s legs, bringing Ren flush against his hips and thrusting forward roughly. Pulling out and pushing back in until he found himself unable to hold back.

Kylo’s arms fell back over his head, groping for anything to hold onto as his eyes nearly rolled back into his head and a stream of moans and curses spilled from his mouth. His fingers caught the opposite edge of the counter and clung on while his body was pushed towards them with every thrust of Hux’s hips.

The slow pace had been abandoned in favor of Hux forcefully rocking himself forward into Kylo, his hands gripping Ren’s hips until his nails dug little crescent’s into the pale skin without him noticing.

He wasn’t sure when his eyes had slipped closed, only knowing that they were suddenly flying open when he heard Kylo gasping out his name.

Kylo’s eyes locked with his own, and Ren smirked, shaking and barely able to get the name out again in a mocking tone instead of the same breathless whine. “ _ Brendol. _ ” 

“You fuck.” One of Hux’s hands abandoned Kylo’s hips and wrapped around Ren’s neglected member; stroking it in time with his thrusts and waiting until Kylo had thrown his head back again from the pleasure before tightening his fingers around the base.

Kylo let out a needily insistent groan, bucking his hips up into Hux’s hand while still trying to keep time with the fast movements of Hux’s hips; he felt a warmth pooling in his stomach as he sped his pace, watching Kylo squirm and moan beneath him.

He released Kylo’s hips completely when he felt Ren’s ankles lock behind his back and stroked Ren’s length, one hand still holding off the other’s release while he fucked him and the other stroking teasingly; eyes held firmly open to take in every inch of Kylo lying sprawled out on the kitchen counter and unable to shut up. 

Kylo’s eyes flickered up to meet his for a moment, and he smirked; his hold loosening. “ _ Ben _ .” A quick twist of his wrist and a swipe of his thumb over the head of Kylo’s cock timed with a sudden thrust was all it took to send him over.

Kylo’s back arched up off of the counter, and his hands gripped the corners until his knuckles were white; moaning out something incoherent that sounded suspiciously like Hux’s name as he came and proving enough to finish Hux as he tightened around him. 

Hux reached out for him before either of them had come down, pressing his lips to Kylo and wrapping his arms around his neck before pushing his fingers into black hair dampened with sweat. “Good?” He half-breathed half-panted the question when they finally broke apart, allowing Kylo to sit up on his own but not pulling away.

Kylo looked at him for a moment, looking back and forth between Hux’s eyes before responding. “The kitchen was only first.” 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Hux found himself pressed to Kylo’s lips again, suddenly realizing he didn’t want to be anywhere else ever again.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brendol Hux confirmed!  
> (im sorry im fckn trash)  
> (also local fic writer can't write sin to save their life)


	21. The End

Hux glanced up as he heard the shower shut off, the textbook in his hands falling down to rest on the blankets of his bed; watching as Kylo walked through the door of the conjoined bedroom/bathroom wearing a pair of the pajama pants he had managed to run out to the car to grab. 

“You said my name.” He arched his eyebrows, eyes running over Kylo’s characteristically uncovered chest when he stepped closer to the bed.

“Yes.” Kylo nodded brightly.

“My first name.”

“Mmhmm…” He began drying his hair with a towel.

“While we were having sex.”

“That I did.” Kylo fell onto the bed and wriggled forward until his face was pressed into one of the pillows beside Hux. “But to be fair-” He looked up, folding his arm and resting his chin on them. “You used my name too.”

“Only in retaliation.” Hux corrected, looking down at him and finding himself unable to keep his lips from quirking upwards. 

“Buuut you still did it.” Kylo rolled over onto his back, eyes fluttering closed only to fly open in surprise when he felt Hux’s hair - still slightly damp from his own shower - pressing to his chest. “Didn’t take you for a cuddler.” He teased when Hux laid his head on his chest and insistently moved until there wasn’t much empty space between them. 

“Yeah and I didn’t take you for-”

“Shut up.”

Hux laughed, eyes closing as Kylo’s fingers began absently combing through his hair. “What about you…” He began lazily. “Makes me forget all of my plans…?”

“Hmm?”

A frown pulled Hux’s eyebrows together, and he chewed his lip. “I think I made a mistake.”

“What?” Kylo’s hands stilled, and Hux sat up - pulling away from him. 

“Not like- I mean… shit.”

“Hux…” Kylo had sat up slowly, unsure if he should reach out or not. “Did you not want to-?”

“What- no of course I did. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t.” Hux replied matter-of-factly. 

“Then what are you talking about?” Kylo chose not to reach out, his hands finding the bedsheets between them and curling them into his fists. 

“I mean-” Hux’s voice became methodic. “I told myself that I wouldn’t pursue a furthering of our romantic relationship until you had healed to a point where you would be able to carry out these decisions with a clear mind and yet for the past month I’ve take every opportunity to kiss and hold you which is the exact opposite of my plan; now it’s elevated to this and I don’t know if it was appropriate given your state.”

Kylo stared at him for a moment before reaching out to grasp for his shoulders. “Hux what the fuck are you talking about come here.”

“Kylo no this is serious.” Hux shrugged him off, frowning down at the comforter. “I shouldn’t have pressed anything romantic until you had recovered.”

“Hux… you’re an idiot.”

“I don’t think you realize exactly what I’m trying to tell you.” He shook his head. “Instead of simply being there for you and waiting to push further at a more appropriate time  I allowed you to use me and our relationship as a crutch to push away the things you should have been dealing with when that was the opposite of my intention.

Kylo bristled, glaring at Hux’s back indignantly. “I wasn’t  _ using _ you for anything.”

“Maybe not intentionally.”

“Hux-”

“You need to fix your relationship with your mother and with yourself before you begin something with someone else, I knew that, this is my fault and I tried to hold off- I’m sorry. It’s not fair to you for me to distract you like this.”

“Well what if I  _ needed _ you to help me do all of that?” Kylo snapped, causing Hux to stiffen though he still didn’t turn. “Did you ever think about that? What did you think was happening all those times you dragged me out of my room? Why do you think I intentionally left my door unlocked the days I would break down and you would come in and lay there with me until I fell asleep?” His glare sharpened when he received no response. “And people call  _ me _ the dense one… Yeah you’re right It’s probably a terrible idea for someone to immediately start asking questions like ‘what are we?’ right after someone fucking died but when you let time pass and when you practically get me back on my feet single-handedly that question kind of doesn’t need to be asked anymore does it?” 

“I still don’t think you understand.”

“Well then enlighten me!” Somewhere in the back of his mind Kylo dimly registered that he had raised his voice. “Because right now it just looks like you finally got to fuck me so now you’re done!” 

Hux’s head snapped towards him as if it had been pulled by a string, and he flinched when Kylo’s glare fell on him. “That’s not…” He broke off, blinking and shaking his head. “You know that’s not it.” Slowly, Hux regained his composure. The feeling of Kylo’s eyes on him never leaving. 

“Ren, I can’t be the person you and your mother use as an excuse to speak and recover.” He said simply, his calm returning. “She’s gotten better from what I’ve seen but I was the one who got you out of your room, I’m the one who’s over there before she gets back from work and even then you rarely speak. Yes, it’s civil, and you’re kinder to each other but I know that everything isn’t better between you. It’s not going to be as long as she allows me to keep doting on you as if there aren’t things she needs to do and you keep allowing it to happen - both of us do.”

“That’s a lousy ass excuse and you know it.” Kylo gritted out. “My mom and I are as fine as we’re going to get right now. Things like this take time, Hux. We’re not going to reconnect completely in a few months just because you decide to give us a little space.”

“I’m a crutch and it isn’t healthy.”

“Where is this even coming from?!” Kylo had raised his voice again.

“That’s not important.”

“ _ Hux! _ ”

“ _ Why can’t you just accept this? _ ” Hux snapped back suddenly. “I need to give you space until you’re in the right headspace to make these decisions!”

“I can think for myself just fine who are you to tell me I can’t?!”

Hux clicked his tongue, fingers tapping on the bedspread. “Why do you have to be so stubborn?” 

“ _ I’m _ stubborn?” 

“Yes you’re stubborn!”

“You’re the one making these stupid assumptions about my mental state instead of realizing - yet again - that all I want is you!” 

“Kylo if you and your mother can’t fix what’s broken between you now you’ll never be able to do it with me there trying to help!” Hux’s hands clawed through his hair. “It’s the same way that a couple in a failing fucking marriage decide to have a kid hoping it'll fix everything. And that kid tries everything they can to help and do do what they were _made_ to do only to realize years too late that they’re all too fucked up to make anything work so the people all leave them behind! I won’t be able to help you because I can’t help keep two people together Kylo, I failed once before and I’ll do it again and then you won’t even be able to look at me because I couldn’t do the one thing I was supposed to do, the one thing I was _always_ supposed to do, what I was _supposed_ to be good at and-!” 

His breathless stream of panic broke off when Kylo pulled him suddenly against his chest, long arms wrapping around Hux’s torso and Kylo’s chin resting on his shoulder. “Breathe…” Kylo’s voice was soft in his ear, and Hux drew in a shaking breath. “Again.” Kylo’s hand moved to cover his chest. “You’re heartbeat is too fast.”

Hux obeyed. “I’m s-”

“Don’t be.” Kylo cut him off, his lips close to Hux’s ear. “Focus on this for now.”

After a few seconds had passed, Hux felt himself relaxing back into Kylo’s chest. His eyes closing when one of the other’s stray hands began tracing small patterns along his collarbone calmly.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kylo asked after a moment, still speaking softly. 

“Not particularly.” Hux murmured.

“This was never really about letting me get better was it?”

“To the extent of the normal healing process it was.” There was a pause. “Everything after…. I guess wasn’t…”

“Hux.”

“What?”

“You do realize…” Kylo broke off, still letting his fingers wander over Hux’s collarbone as he mulled over his sentence. “When I asked you to never abandon me and you agreed. If you can’t leave me that means I can’t abandon you either.” He leaned forward to press his lips to Hux’s shoulder. “And I won’t… no matter what happens.”

“I don’t need you to reassure me of that.” Hux replied sourly.

Kylo smiled into his shoulder. “Liar.” 

“You’ve already guessed what all of that was about haven’t you?” Sighed Hux.

“Yes.”

“Good then I don’t have to tell you.”

“You should talk about it.”

“Hypocrite.” 

“Only when you’re ready then.” 

Hux rolled his eyes, still leaning back against Kylo’s chest. “I do want to talk about one thing we never got around to discussing.”

“Hmm?” Kylo lifted his head from Hux’s shoulder. Not trusting the slightly mischievous tone in the others voice. 

“I want to know how long.”

“How long what?”

Hux looked back over his shoulder to look at Kylo, an eyebrow raised, and Kylo snorted. “You’re joking? You mean How long I’ve wanted  _ this _ ?” Hux nodded, and Kylo squeezed him.

“First day we met.” He said unabashedly. 

“ _ What? _ ” Hux took rapid stock of his memory, trying to remember the details of Kylo’s first day and only succeeding in remembering how irritating he had been. “We couldn’t stand each other.”

“We can barely stand each other now.” Kylo shrugged, resting his chin on Hux’s shoulder again. “And I have a thing for cute guys in uniform, the fact that you were able to keep up with me being me was an added bonus; I’ll admit I was only looking to sleep with you for the first few days though…” 

Hux jabbed him with an elbow, and Kylo snickered. “Alright, what about you Cadet Colonel?” 

“Well I  _ realized _ it when your mom cornered me into sleeping over that first night I was at your place, which ended up being hell with all the stunts you kept pulling.”

“What stunts?” Kylo grinned.

“The headlock, and the fact that for some reason you refuse to sleep with a shirt on.”

“Fuck I knew I should have kissed you when I grabbed you… No wonder you blushed so much when I whispered in you ear.”

“You’re an asshole.”

Kylo squeezed him again. “We know this already.” 

“But I love you though…” Hux tensed as soon as the whispered words left his mouth; as if he hadn’t meant to say them out loud. “Shit I um-”

Kylo tugged back, pulling Hux off of his lap and shifting his center of balance so he fell onto his back with Hux lying on top of him.

“What are you-” Hux began, voice strained when Kylo moved until the two were laying side-by side with Hux comfortably draped partially on his chest.

“You got up earlier.” Kylo yawned. “Even though you looked so comfortable…”

Hux swallowed the lump in his throat, moving back into his earlier position pressed against Kylo with his head on Ren’s chest despite himself.  _ He must not have heard… _

A hand found it’s way back to Hux’s hair, and his eyes slipped closed at the feeling of fingers moving languidly along his scalp. Without meaning to, he shifted even closer until one arm was draped over Kylo’s stomach. A finger drawing patterns on the bare skin until his breathing slowed and the movement stopped. 

Kylo brushed hair away from the other’s scalp almost possessively, looking down at him as Hux slipped into sleep. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Hux angst before the end.  
> Also, This marks the end of the main story line of this fic!!! YAYYYY!!!!!! YOU GUYS HATE ME FOR NOT TELLING U SOONER DON'T YOU???  
> Lmao anyway! The next (and last) chapter is a bonus chapter I've been DYING to write and it has literally nothing to do with the story at all.   
> So Thank You everybody for reading and sticking around for all the angst and messed up stuff I threw at you I really hope I somehow managed to deliver!


	22. Bonus Chapter

Kylo sat up with a start as water suddenly drenched him from head to toe; clawing a broken water balloon from his tied-back hair and whipping around to glare at his smirking attacker. “Who told you this would be a good idea?” He snapped as Hux moved across the roof to join him. 

“The golden trio are here again and I figured I’d grab one before they started attacking.” Hux shrugged sitting down.

“Did you tell them were we are?”

“No.”

“Did you bring more balloons?”

Hux motioned to a large basket filled with water balloons slung over his shoulder. 

“Then you can stay.”

“Thank you for granting me this honor your highness.” Hux mocked.

“Of course, it’s only fitting when my loyal general has decided to grace me with his presence.” Kylo snapped back.

“I will push you off of this roof.”

“Do it, I dare you.” Kylo smiled smugly and grabbed a balloon. “Where was the last place you saw them-?”

“ _ Now! _ ” A sudden barrage of multicolored water balloons pelted the two as Rey, Poe and Finn climbed up onto the roof. Leaving Hux and Kylo to scramble for the balloons in their basket to retaliate until both sides had exhausted their ammunition. 

When it had ended and the five of them were thoroughly soaked, the three attackers carefully wandered over and sat down beside Kylo and Hux. Hux glowered at them. “Why are you three still here?” 

“It’s summer and we’re bored.” Poe shrugged, slinging an arm around Finn’s shoulders. “So we thought we’d come bug you two.”

“That and Rey wanted to play your piano.” Finn added.

“She what?” Kylo demanded. 

“I’ve been learning to play but I don’t have a piano of my own.” Rey explained. “Your mom offered to let me come play on yours if I wanted to but I need a teacher If I want to get better…”

“I’m not giving you lessons.” Kylo looked away.

“Pleaaasssseeeee!!!???” 

“No.”

“Come on Kylo why not - see look I even called you Kylo!” Rey pestered.

“Ren be nice.” Hux nudged Kylo’s ribs.

“Bite me.”

“Maybe later.”

“Can you two not… ” Poe muttered.

Rey ignored them. “Kylo please I really want someone to teach me, Leia thinks I could be really good with a little training and If you don’t help my only other option is tracking down your uncle and trying to convince him!”

“ _ No! _ ” Kylo said firmly, eyes wide. “You do  _ not _ want to train with him it will be the biggest mistake you will ever make!” 

The others looked at him, and after a moment Hux lifted a hand to Kylo’s shoulder. “You okay?”

“No I’m not okay!” Kylo exploded. He turned to Rey. “Look, uncle Luke has literally no idea what he’s doing okay? He learned how to play from a batshit crazy old hermit who up and died a few lessons in.  _ I’m not even joking about that okay he just died in the middle of a lesson and Luke is okay with that!”  _

“Kylo…” 

“Not now Hux.” He drew in a breath. “Uncle Luke taught me the  _ exact same way that crazy hermit taught him! _ He just uses those techniques and bullshits the rest he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing! It might’ve been alright for some 2-foot-tall old guy to climb on your back while you play piano to help “correct posture” or whatever but goddammit my uncle was too tall for that shit and I was not big enough for that but he did it anyway!”

“Deep breaths Kylo.”

“And the fucking creepy music shop! Apparently my uncle’s teacher made him go in there to find something when Luke was learning so Luke made me do the same thing but it’s all old and abandoned! ‘What’s in this creepy music shop uncle Luke?’ - ‘Only what you take with you…. And maybe some hallucinations or something i dunno kid later.’ and then he just pushes me in! I must’ve been drugged with something because I swear I was seeing shit in that place!”

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah he’ll be fine.”

“And  _ why _ was I playing piano out in the middle of nowhere in the first place? How did he  _ get _ a piano out there? My uncle is insane I swear to fucking christ don’t let him teach you it will scar you for life!”

Hux patted his shoulder. “You done?”

“Yes.”

“Alright.”

Rey looked at Kylo and grimaced. “So… don’t go to your uncle then…”

“Don’t fucking go to my uncle.”

“So will you teach me?”

“No.”

“Then I’m gonna have to go to your uncle.”

Kylo shuddered. “It’s your funeral.”

“Make sure you say something nice about me then.” Rey huffed as she stood, Finn and Poe standing with her. “See you two around.

Hux offered a cordial wave as the three carefully moved to the side of the house where they could climb down from the roof before turning his attention back to Kylo and giving him another nudge to his ribs. “Is that really how you learned how to play?”

“I love my Uncle but he is insane.” Kylo replied.

Hux chuckled and ran a hand through still-wet hair. “Now I see where you get it from.”

“You’re a riot, Hux really.” Kylo replied dryly. Reaching over and snaking an arm across Hux’s shoulder to pull him closer. 

“Your flattery warms my heart.”

“Funny, I didn’t think you had one  _ Brendol _ .”

“Right you are  _ Ben _ .” Hux leaned his head on Kylo’s shoulder. “You had to be a bastard and steal it.”

Kylo laughed. “Corny jokes aside…” He muttered, pressing his lips to Hux’s head. “It’s nice to know it’s mine.”

Hux scoffed a little under his breath and shifted just as Kylo looped his other arm around to cup his chin and tilt Hux’s head up. He pushed their lips together gently, drawing a small whimper of surprise from the smaller male and making him smile into the kiss. “I love you Hux.” He murmured when he pulled away.

Red spread quickly across Hux’s face, and he swallowed hard. “I love you too.” He nearly whispered back, a hand tangling in Kylo’s hair when the other leaned in for another kiss. “Even if you’re a pain in the ass…” He added just before they met again, smirking into it when Kylo’s lips formed the distinctive shape of a pout against his own and loving every second of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay tbh I forgot I was gonna write a bonus chapter sorry  
> But here it is!!! Thanks for reading!!!  
> And come by my blog if thats your thing!: http://bigender-gamzee.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I doing but I know that I'm Kylux trash.


End file.
